tracerit Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 i'm sure these posts are a dime a dozen, and if you don't want to read the whoel story, i included a cliff notes section at the end. I was with my ex for almost two years (she broke up with me one week before our 2 years) and it has been six months since the breakup. She was my first girlfriend and we did everything together, had fun for the first year, then our second year things got rocky but we got back together each time. we brought the worst out of each other though. i'm devastated because during that last year, i got into a huge accident because i drove her around, quit my job for eight months to hang out with her, ate out everyday which caused me to be unhealthy, and i mishandled my finances with her. she didn't force me to do any of that, i did it because i thought it'd make her happy. i am happy to say that i've learned my mistakes and won't make them again. she left me for some guy she met at work two weeks earlier. after the breakup, we tried being friends, but her new "friend" didn't like us hanging out, but we still tried, or at least i did, she never backed me up. three months after the breakup was the last time we saw each other. we didn't send each other any gifts for xmas. a month ago, she called me out of the blue asking me if i had wrote some "cute things" on her car, but that wans't me. that was all we talked about, it puzzled me that she would think that i wrote them even though she's going out with that guy now. i didn't call her after that. so it's been six months and i'm not sure if i'm just lonely in need of someone to be with, or if i'm just missing specifically her still. my friends have told me find someone, a rebound, to get over my ex, but it woudln't be nice to use someone for that. but i feel that i'm not going to get over her until i find someone and see if i still have feelings for her. but that won't be my intention, my intention is to find someone that i can make happy and can make me happy, the finding out if i'm over my ex is secondary. CLIFFS: -was with ex for 2 years -she left me 6 months ago -haven't talked for 3 months -still think of her almost every other day -considering doign something i don't want to do, to date someone as a rebound to get over my ex -how did you get over your ex? Link to post Share on other sites
Brittanyjean06 Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 loL very creative with the cliff notes!! 6 months is not a long time at all!, Its been 7 months for me, and the pain still lingers, I'm sorry you are still hurting, but you are supposed to still be hurting.. In the range of 6 months, I think the shock can still be there sometimes. In 6 months I know you will be feeling better, but things take time in life.. and with patience you will be okay. I think you need to reamber the bad in the relationship, she left you.. and you have to understand that.. She will be in yout thoughts every day, for a while, there is nothing weird or strange with that..but its something you will have to except. Im so young, and i was with them for almost 3 years...First love.. and I know it might take two years to stop loving him..I've excepted the fact that he is who is he, he would have never changed..and I shoulden't have put up with what I put up with If you have been doing some progess, than hold done to that...and tell your self things will get better..I know they do. Link to post Share on other sites
Toji Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 I sure hope at 6 months I'll have been able to move on. Sometimes I think I'm okay, but other times it just seems to eat me alive. Personally I think it'd be good for you. I know how you feel, but you have to move on at some point. Find someone to be excited about, there are tons of people out that just waiting for you to get to know them. I wouldn't suggest jumping into anything serious or meaningless, that's probably never a good idea, but there'd be nothing wrong with going on a date. Link to post Share on other sites
Blind Illusion Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 Not sure how true it is but I read somewhere once that it takes half of the relationship's duration to move on. I don't know. I have my doubts but maybe. Sometimes I think it could be better to redirect your passion into something else. Not someone else. I have noticed that if I went out with someone else when not over the person I really wanted, it would just make me miss that person more. How about a trip? somewhere so different and you would start to be excited about IT..a distraction from your feelings so to speak. Good luck with everything Link to post Share on other sites
canuckgirl Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 I agree when you date someone else too soon.. you tend to compare everything about that person against your ex... which makes me totally miss my ex even more. But at the same time dating someone else made me realize that there are good ppl out there and there is someone for me.. even if its not my ex. Good job with not talking for 3 months.. I know its hard not to think of your ex. I feel the same way.. I thought I was fine after a month.. but it seems like I'm back at square one after two months. But I'm just going out and trying new things.. being myself.. having fun with friends that I haven't seen in a while. And the last thing from my mind is trying to find a boyfriend. I did end up going a few dates with someone.. it kinda happened out of nowhere. When things got hot and heavy with him.. I actually turned him down.. cause all I could think about was how he wasn't my ex and felt like I was almost cheating on him.. isn't that weird?? I got so mad at myself the next day.. I control how I feel and shouldn't let my ex let me feel this way. And that's when i realized that I have to let him go and have nc with him. Yes.. there will be a part of me that will always love him.. but I must move on. And time will be my healing hand in this. I agree with Toji, try a few dates with new ppl.. but don't get tooserious too fast nor do anything meaningless. And yes.. trips are a great way to discover yourself and have fun. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author tracerit Posted March 4, 2006 Author Share Posted March 4, 2006 i have no acceptable reason to miss her, one or two months after the breakup, i realized that it wasn't going to last, we both wanted out, but coudln't do it until someone else came along, she ran me into debt and we wouldn't be able to go out as much as we used to, school came up, and i just flat out realized that if i ever got her back, it would be good for a few days, then i'll start to be annoyed with all the crap that she pulls, i'll hate how she's so materialistic, etc... well anyways, my point is, i was laying in bed last night and thought maybe if i called her to meet up for an hour or so just to catch up, i will realize how much i don't like her anymore, how i'll be able to see her as who she really is after realizing that she's not so great to me. it'll be like closure. if i don't do this, i'm always going to keep that picturing her on that pedastel... then again, there's a chance that i'm going to be too friendly with her and develop more of my feelings for her again. her birthday is coming up at the end of the month, so if i ever decide to talk to her, i'll let that day fly by then call her up. chances are i won't be calling her though. i just started working out and i'm already feeling better, having something to direct my energy towards so i dont ' have to think about her. Link to post Share on other sites
MadDog Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Dude, don't call her. I guarantee you that if you call her, you will only remember the good things about her and will forget all the bad that kept it from working. It's especially hard for you because she was your first girlfriend. You don't have to immediately jump into a serious relationship to try to get over your ex. Why don't you just try casually dating a few girls just to have some fun and take your mind off her a little bit? I think one of the reason why people get so hung up on exes is that they think they're the only person out there for them but if you open yourself up to other options, those thoughts are less likely to linger. MD Link to post Share on other sites
Author tracerit Posted March 4, 2006 Author Share Posted March 4, 2006 thanks, i ran into this post from NoFoolin and you guys convinced me from doing something very stupid http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t56954/ Link to post Share on other sites
blkwithwhitemale Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Sounds like loneliness to me. She isn't right for you if she won't be on your side. You are missing her so much because she was a great friend to you. Although the relationship ended you didn't want the relationship to end as well and it did. You just miss the frienship but you will get over her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tracerit Posted March 5, 2006 Author Share Posted March 5, 2006 hm... so just because i haven't called her for the last 3 months, i checked her myspace today and she left a comment on his saying "i love you so much! i don't know what i'd do without you" and "hi sweetie" ahhh.... those were familiar words, but i don't really feel jealous or affected that much, if anything it's helping me move on knowing that she's with this guy now and i would be an idiot infatuating over her. Link to post Share on other sites
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