health risks to weight gain

[islandsurfer]

After last weekend I am now getting a little concerned about the health risks with my gf’s weight gain. We went on a weekend trip with another couple, I am good friends with the female in that couple and, we have been trying to find a weekend that we can plan a trip so she can introduce me to her boyfriend, and she can hang out with my gf. She met my gf once before and they got along real well, this was about a year and a half ago and my gf weighed around 125 pounds and was very physically fit. The female friend is a high school gym and health teacher who works out regularly and a lot of their conversations were around fitness.

 

Over the year and a half the female friend has seen pics of my gf and I and noted it looked like my gf was gaining a lil weight. I have talked to her a lil about my gf’s weight gain, but not in much detail. Lets just say, she was shocked on how much weight my gf has gained in that period of time, especially when we went swimming in the hotels pool, the bikini my gf wore was a couple sizes too small and didn’t hide any of the extra weight. To be totally honest, the bottoms didn’t totally cover her butt and for the first time ever I was embarrassed about her weight. By the way my gf weighs around 165 pounds and is kinda short, 5 ft 3 inches tall making the extra weight all the more noticeable. Overall however, the trip went well, the female friend didn’t mention the weight gain at all and we all got along good.

 

The day after the trip I got a phone call from the female friend and learned how shocked she was with the weight gain. I love my gf and the extra weight doesn’t bother me and I never linked it to being that big of a thing. I mean I weigh around 155 pounds and 165 is not much more then me. The female friend kinda went health teacher on me and was maybe a little to honest. She said she was concerned with her health, saying that gaining that much weight quickly is not healthy, and my gf has lost all muscle and is all fat now. She said it looks like my gf at least doubled her body fat and when I talked to her before about the weight gain she assumed my gf was still muscle and working out. She took me to a BMI calculator website and my gf’s BMI is 29.2, which is not good. She said that usually those number aren’t accurate because they don’t take in account muscle, but in my gfs cause it is accurate, and then again went into how amazed she is on how much my gf’s body has changed. This started to get me worried about my gf’s health.

 

I talked with another female friend, one that has lived with my gf since freshman year, and she wasn’t concerned at all. Saying that in college people always gain weight, and that my gf is young (21 years old) so the health risk is minimum. This friend also kinda enjoys the fact my gf is no longer slim and is larger like herself ( it’s a long story). I don’t wanna listen to this friend, but she brought up a good point when she told me to search the web for health risks to rapid weight gain saying I won’t find any cause my gf is still young. I searched the web for a lil bit before writing this post and she was right, I couldn’t find anything about health risks to rapid weight gain unless is was at a pregnant or hormone disorder site.

 

So I am stuck, I mean my gf’s weight is not that high, she is young and still in college and people tend to gain weight in college. So maybe I should be passive and over time my gf might lose the weight. I purposely try not to talk to her about her weight gain unless she brings it up and usually she gets very upset. The health teacher friend thinks I need to talk to her about her health and is making it seem like a bigger deal then I think it is. A BMI of 29.2 puts her in the overweight category, but in a low health risk category. And according to the national center for health stats., the average weight for an adult female is 162.9 pounds. So my gf is right around average weight.

 

So right now I really don’t know what to do, and need some advise. Does anyone know about health risks to gaining weight over a short period of time? Do you think I should be concerned about her health to the extent of talking to her about it like the heath teacher friend of mine suggests? Or should I remain passive, she were both only 21 years old and in college maybe she will eventually lose a lil weight and become more healthy. I just know talking about her weight will only upset her.

 

Wow I am sorry this is such a long post. I just had to vent a little about my concerns and feel a little better getting off my chest. Thank you to all of you that take the time to read this and voice your opinion.

[alturrnababe]

Well, first of all when i read your post I was surprised at the fact that you discussed your girlfriends weight with a couple of your female friends.Imagine how hurt your g/f would be if she found out about that?! secondly,If you do love your g/f, then weight shouldn't matter between the two of you.If you are concerned about her weight, then you should be bringing it up IN PRIVATE, to her only, and even then you should be very tactful about it.Just my view! good luck on that.

[littlekitty]

I think nearly 3 stone in 18 months is pretty fast weight gain. Faster than you would want to see really. While it might not be overly concerning at 21, I would want her to stop and start addressing the issue before it gets out of hand. If nothing changes at this rate in another 18 months she could have gained another 3 stone. That would be dangerous.

 

Does she care that she's gained weight? Does she mention it to you?

[Pink_Tulip]

Talking with a female friend about your girlfriends weight is a big no no, lol. But since it sounds like you only did it out of love and concern, not mocking her or being hurtful, I can understand why you did. But I would recommend, for your own safety if nothing else, don't let your gf know you had these talks!

 

That aside, I would have to agree with your friend. Having a 29 BMI is alarming to me, especially at 21. And quick weight gains at that age are not harmful in and of themselves IF she gained the weight just b/c she stopped working out and let her diet get bad. If she is still working out and eating well AND gained the weight, that would signal other serious issues, such as a thryroid problem, etc.

 

The issues with her gaining so much weight is that, it is so much easier to GAIN weight than to LOSE it. And we are all educated enough to know that she will need to lose this weight soon to be healthy. She will have to work to lose it, and make specific changes not to gain anymore. The longer she waits to lose it, the more difficult it will be. And using the excuse that everyone gains weight in college kinda bugs me. Don't let her friend convince you this is ok. 30-40 pounds is a lot for a 5'3'' frame.

 

You know your gf well enough to know how to bring this up. But I would agree it needs to be discussed. Maybe you two can start a workout program together or something?

 

What I will say is, women can be very stubborn, as I am sure you know. Bring it up in a loving way, let her know your concerns, suggest joining a gym together, etc, and then let it go. Believe me when I tell you, she knows EXACTLY how she looks. She is aware that her butt doesn't quite fit in her bikini anymore. It is ok with her b/c she knows you love her unconditionally. If you start pushing her, she will believe you care more about her looks than her feelings, and it will cause problems. Say your peace, let her know you still love her unconditionally, and back off. Let her think about it and come to it on her own. Just my opinion.

 

Good luck.

[islandsurfer]

I love my girfriend and to be totally honest her size doesn't bothers me, I am just getting concerned about the health risks related to her size and weight gain. Her weight gain has slowed down since last year, but it has not stopped, many of the clothes we bought at the begining of this school year don't fit her well anymore.

 

When she was first gaining weight she did talk/complain to me about it. Everytime an outfit didn't fit or we had to go shopping for new clothes she shot questions at me like " i couldn't have gained that much, it only take 5 pounds to out-grow a pair of jeans, right (and my favorite question) how much do you think i have gained" I didn't answer any of these questions, I just listened and let her answer her own questions.

 

This was taking place during the fall and winter and she could cover up. In the spring when she was trying on old clothes from the summer she blew up on me saying I should have told her how "fat" she was getting. This is when talked to her friends that lives with her, because I really didn't know what to do (maybe i should have said something). This is when i learned that this friend enjoyed the fact that my gf was getting chubby and was influencing the weight gain a little.

 

To answer the post my littlekitty, my gf did talk about her weight to me, but didn't really seem to care at first. Part of the reason why she didn't care was when she first started to gain weight she was stressed with school, seeing her friends, seeing me, and lossing the little weight she gained to look good for me. I told her the lil extra weight looked good and the last thing she need to do was get stressed about losing weight for me cause I like girls with a little extra meat on their bones. This is true, I have never been really attracted to bone thin models. She was trying to get to the gym 5 or 6 times a week when I was going about 3 maybe 4 times a week. I made it clear if she felt she neeed to go to the gym, go for it, just don't do it just to "look good for me"

 

Her size doesn't bother me, but if she is as unhealthy as my health teacher friend makers her out to be I am concerned for her. She doesn't talk much about her weight anymore, mostly because she has weighed herself recently and doesn't need to guess how much weight she has gained.

 

When she has brought up her weight in the recent past I have offered to go to the gym with her. She says she is self conscious about her size since the last time she went there she weighed in the mid 130's and joked with friends that worked out with her about how lazy she was over the summer and needs to lose a couple pounds. Plus she used to go to the gym alot and knew a lot of people at the gym she called her "gym friends" cause she only saw them at the gym, and is self conscious about what they might think.

 

She will mention and be sad about her weight one day, and then the next day seem totally unaware of it wearing outfits like a bikini thats way to small acting like she hasn't gained a pound.

[islandsurfer]

Tomarrow my gf and I are going shopping for new clothes for her. Usually after going to a couple of other stores we end up at Old Navy, it seems that she can wear Old Navy stretch jeans that are a size smaller then jeans in other stores. Does anyone know any other stores like this, that seem to cut their material a little larger.

[kitten chick]

I'm originally from your area. While you're over at Old Navy you might want to check out Century 21. They have a huge selection of jeans and I wasn't quite at her size but I remember when I was heavier I loved Marc Jacobs jeans (actually I still do). He cuts a bit fuller and they're much less expensive at that store. I think Old Navy will be your best bet though. Ann Taylor and The Loft also cut much fuller, I know they're both in the mall there.