Can you sleep with someone else and still love you bf/gf?

[Toni_no12002]

I know someone who has a gf and slept with someone else.The way he is with her i do believe that he loves her.Now thinking about it what he did was wrong yes.But if he confessed to her what he had done he would be making her suffer too.He would only be doing it for totally selfish reasons to get rid of his own guilt.I think that sometimes its better she doesnt know.

 

Its not fair i know but it would be less hassle if he didnt tell her.It shouldnt give him an excuse to sleep around because he wouldnt tell her as it would upset her but i do believe if its a one off and an accident it should be kept quiet.

 

What does everyone think?Can you sleep with someone else and still love your SO?

[catgirl1927]

No. I know that absolutes are usually too simplistic, but that's really what I believe. I think that if you sleep with someone else, you 1) really just love yourself, 2) don't value the person you are with, because chances are when you do that you will lose them and you don't care or you have so little respect for them you don't think they are worth resisting some impulsive desire for excitement, and 3) if real feelings for the second person are involved, then you think the chance that it will work out with that person is worth risking what you already have, which means you still think you can do better. I think that cheating is the worst thing you can do to someone, it's a way to not only let them know that you don't love or respect them, but also to humiliate and degrade them by letting them know they were stupid to think that you would love them. IMHO Sorry to rant, this is something I feel VERY strongly about, as you can see...

[Yamaha]

Only someone who doesn't respect their SO can act this way. If you truly love someone you can't behave in such an uncaring fashion. Some people will allow their lust to rule their actions but they really have come to the conclusion that they might just lose their SO's and they will take the gamble. Is this love? I would call it selfishness!!!

[Spectre]

If youre a sick person and completely twist the actual meaning of love in your mind and convince yourself youre right? then yes, you can have sex with someone and still love your bf, people on this board seem to do it all the time

[Toni_no12002]

Woa lol ok everyone got angry about that one.

 

Why do people who are totally in love cheat then i just dont understand it!

[blind_otter]

Woa lol ok everyone got angry about that one.

 

Why do people who are totally in love cheat then i just dont understand it!

 

I think ths thing is - they may love their SO but cheating is not a loving expression towards your partner, obviously. Usually there is something wrong in the relationship, or with the people involved personally that makes them unable to fully express their love in a healthy way.

 

The right thing to do, IMO, is analyze why you chose to do that, then take action to address whatever causes you to do something so potentially hurtful to your mate. Being honest about the action is an important step, both to the person who cheated, and the person they cheated ON. This enables the person who was betrayed to decide for themselves whether they want to continue being in that relationship, and whether they will be able to put aside the hurt and betrayal.

 

Short answer -- if you're "totally in love", you DON'T cheat. And if you do cheat, it's your responsibilty to make amends to those people whose trust you violated, and do the work to make sure it never happens again. And ignoring it or calling it a "one time thing" is a cheap, easy way out. Cowards way out.

[Snefclarb]

If you love someone then you care about their feelings, in which case you don't sleep with other people because it's just disrespectful.

[LBC]

what about swingers?

[Toni_no12002]

swingers confuse me lol id be sooo jelous but if both people agree then thats there choice

[blind_otter]

It is disrespectful to f*** other people if you're in a committed relationship. It's also dangerous.

 

I got chlamydia from my exH while I was still married to him. Didn't find out about it until 8 months later at my yearly pap smear. You never know nowadays.

[melbourneboy]

hmmm well here is my Story My G.f and I have been together for 8 months and 4 months back i slept with one of my e.x's and i dont even know how it happned it was a drunk passed out moment that happned way to quickly. Well 4 months later i decide to confess to her because i want to stop feeling guilty about hiding it from her (Selfish i know).

Now 3 hrs after i have told her i really wish i had kept my mouth shut. and cant stop thinking "what u dont know cant hurt u"

I dont think our relationship will ever be the same even if she does decide that she still wants to be with me (quite doubtfull )

Does anyone think that someone can be Forgiven for something like this I really do love her with all of my Heart and what i did was really wrong and hurtfull i wish i could take all of it back. There is nothing i can Do i feel so helpless and **** right now.

 

never going to cheat again!!

[Toni_no12002]

I think people can forgive you but not totally at first.She will probably be suspicious of you but you will have to work hard to rebuild the trust you lost.

[melbourneboy]

going to take my post to a new thread. my god i hope my g.f forgives me its hurting so bad right now