James Posted September 6, 2001 Share Posted September 6, 2001 Hi, I've been with this girl for about 6 months - she's really cool. Ususally, we have a real laugh, and spend alot of time together, but latetly things have been really difficult - and as a result she almost called things off twice, saying that I didn't love her enough, and I didn't show her enough attention, or affection. She also said that she didn't want to look like an idiot (loving me, when I didn't love her) so that was why she was going to call it off, but in the end she didn't, although I didn't ask her not to. I really care about her, and don't want to hurt her (I know she's been hurt quite badly in the past), but Im not sure what to do about the situation. I don't know whether I'm in love with her, or whether I love her friendship so much (we do get on really well), that I'm keeping on the relationship just so I don't lose that (I know that she wouldn't be able to be friends afterwards). Has anyone got any good advice? (It'll be much appreciated!) Link to post Share on other sites
BeenThere Posted September 6, 2001 Share Posted September 6, 2001 You can't extort an "I love you" out of someone by threatening to leave...the words are useless unless the setiment is genuinely felt. You also can not force yourself to love someone out of pity or guilt, or because you feel you "should." Perhaps she is panicking because there is some anxity about getting caught up in a "go no where" relationship. But unless she is interested in spending time with someone else, she should just enjoy the time she has with you until someone else comes along. Of course, she may have some inhabitions about the sex now, and I can understand how she might find it difficult to make the switch from an intimate relationship to a platonic one. If she loves you, she will not be able to handle you being with someone else. Could you? This is a tough one, but you've handled the situation just fine. If and when she decides to leave "for real," than you must respect her decision and allow her to go... Hi, I've been with this girl for about 6 months - she's really cool. Ususally, we have a real laugh, and spend alot of time together, but latetly things have been really difficult - and as a result she almost called things off twice, saying that I didn't love her enough, and I didn't show her enough attention, or affection. She also said that she didn't want to look like an idiot (loving me, when I didn't love her) so that was why she was going to call it off, but in the end she didn't, although I didn't ask her not to. I really care about her, and don't want to hurt her (I know she's been hurt quite badly in the past), but Im not sure what to do about the situation. I don't know whether I'm in love with her, or whether I love her friendship so much (we do get on really well), that I'm keeping on the relationship just so I don't lose that (I know that she wouldn't be able to be friends afterwards). Has anyone got any good advice? (It'll be much appreciated!) Link to post Share on other sites
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