jennie Posted September 6, 2001 Share Posted September 6, 2001 well things have been going really good lately...i have been feeling soooooo much better since i've been on the thyroid meds and an anti-depressant for the obsessive thinking thing. still......however, i can't seem to shake this wanting to leave and move back to iowa, yes willingly. we have been doing really good in counseling and things for the most part are definitely improving. so then why is it when we do have a little tif i still want to bolt out the door? i just don't understand that part of me....i have discussed this in counseling and she thinks i am living in an iowa fantasy, i beg to differ. i know at times when like he wants to do something and i have no interest in it, like some concerts he went and bought tickets for knowing i don't even like that kind of music, or he makes plans to go somewhere that he knows i don't feel comfortable going, like waaaaay up in the mountains, or when he wants to do something that he knows i don't feel comfortable doing, like going on sight seeing trains through the mountains... it is at those times i feel so imcompatable...and at those times it really reinforces my wanting to run....mind you these things don't really cause any fights as he does alot of sacrificing for me to make me happy and i try to do the same by going to some of these things with his as he wants, but still i feel like he would be doing alot more if i was not holding him back and i feel bad about it. like today he wants to go to this energy thing, they show you different ways of using solar energy....why he wants to go is beyond me, but he wants me to go so i'm going with him, and no big deal.... but there are sooooo many little things like that that i feel i hold him back from....geeeez talk about mismatched or having nothing in common...so it is these things that still bother me.. i know it is not him, i know alot of it is just my hangups and or the way that i am....still i feel i'm being so unfair to him, yet it is hard to do things when you really just don't feel comfortable or don't want to. i feel so selfish about it too...i know he don't want me to leave tho, that dispite everything we do get along great, we are still very loving and affectionate towards each other and very supportive of each other as well, it's just that my thoughts in my head hold me back and keep me in iowa, but the love in my heart keeps me in colorado... Link to post Share on other sites
BeenThere Posted September 6, 2001 Share Posted September 6, 2001 Jennie! Quit skipping your meds!...(jeeesh!) well things have been going really good lately...i have been feeling soooooo much better since i've been on the thyroid meds and an anti-depressant for the obsessive thinking thing. still......however, i can't seem to shake this wanting to leave and move back to iowa, yes willingly. we have been doing really good in counseling and things for the most part are definitely improving. so then why is it when we do have a little tif i still want to bolt out the door? i just don't understand that part of me....i have discussed this in counseling and she thinks i am living in an iowa fantasy, i beg to differ. i know at times when like he wants to do something and i have no interest in it, like some concerts he went and bought tickets for knowing i don't even like that kind of music, or he makes plans to go somewhere that he knows i don't feel comfortable going, like waaaaay up in the mountains, or when he wants to do something that he knows i don't feel comfortable doing, like going on sight seeing trains through the mountains... it is at those times i feel so imcompatable...and at those times it really reinforces my wanting to run....mind you these things don't really cause any fights as he does alot of sacrificing for me to make me happy and i try to do the same by going to some of these things with his as he wants, but still i feel like he would be doing alot more if i was not holding him back and i feel bad about it. like today he wants to go to this energy thing, they show you different ways of using solar energy....why he wants to go is beyond me, but he wants me to go so i'm going with him, and no big deal.... but there are sooooo many little things like that that i feel i hold him back from....geeeez talk about mismatched or having nothing in common...so it is these things that still bother me.. i know it is not him, i know alot of it is just my hangups and or the way that i am....still i feel i'm being so unfair to him, yet it is hard to do things when you really just don't feel comfortable or don't want to. i feel so selfish about it too...i know he don't want me to leave tho, that dispite everything we do get along great, we are still very loving and affectionate towards each other and very supportive of each other as well, it's just that my thoughts in my head hold me back and keep me in iowa, but the love in my heart keeps me in colorado... Link to post Share on other sites
jennie Posted September 6, 2001 Share Posted September 6, 2001 what are you talking about, i have not skipped any of my meds! i started out on celexa about two months or so ago but it didn't work out....i have been consistent on zoloft and levoxyl for at least 4-5 weeks now but these problems are not med related..so i don't know why you said what you said...please explain! thank you..... Jennie! Quit skipping your meds!...(jeeesh!) Link to post Share on other sites
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