noclobber Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 i am feeling highly suicidal... can someone help me? i am a 30 yr old man from India. i completed my Master's degree and currently working in the Software industry. off late i have been feeling like a complete failure.... i just can't get a woman that i love so much. i don't know why my feelings are not being reciprocated... my bad luck has been consistently ruining me from getting what i want out of life... whether its a job or a woman... whatever... i feel completely out of control... have a feeling that some f***in force is controlling my life... what is the use of being alive when you are repeatedly being denied the things that you want so badly... i have lost my happiness and my self-esteem has been completely eroded! help... i just want to end it all... life must stop when there is nobody to love you! Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 please call 1.800.SUICIDE if this is what you truely feel. I've felt this way a few times, today I remember many of them as it's the anniversary of the second time I was raped. IMO you can survive. You aren't thinking clearly because you are feeling so badly that that is all that you can think of. It's like having a broken bone. You can't just keep walking and force yourself to ignore the pain, even though setting the bone so it will heal straight is painful as well....see what I mean? Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 noclobber , this surprises me comming from you. Do what blind otter has said and call the hotline . Take some deep breaths and be assured tommorrow is another day . Link to post Share on other sites
Author noclobber Posted March 3, 2006 Author Share Posted March 3, 2006 please call 1.800.SUICIDE if this is what you truely feel. I've felt this way a few times, today I remember many of them as it's the anniversary of the second time I was raped. IMO you can survive. You aren't thinking clearly because you are feeling so badly that that is all that you can think of. It's like having a broken bone. You can't just keep walking and force yourself to ignore the pain, even though setting the bone so it will heal straight is painful as well....see what I mean? thanks blind_otter! i am so sorry to hear about your past. are you okay now? i dunno why i am feeling like this off late... i have just started to think there is no use trying to get the things i want b'cos my bad luck will jeopardise everything anyway... i just feel that i have been cursed... i am suffering from this turmoil especially after the one woman that i wanted so badly rejected me.. i dunno......... i am finding it difficult to hold myself together... if i find a gun i wud put it in my mouth and end the pain once and for all.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author noclobber Posted March 3, 2006 Author Share Posted March 3, 2006 noclobber , this surprises me comming from you. Do what blind otter has said and call the hotline . Take some deep breaths and be assured tommorrow is another day . why? can you explain that sentence? Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 noclobber, you have'nt been cursed.Just call the hotline please . Hope this all gets better for you. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 thanks blind_otter! i am so sorry to hear about your past. are you okay now? i dunno why i am feeling like this off late... i have just started to think there is no use trying to get the things i want b'cos my bad luck will jeopardise everything anyway... i just feel that i have been cursed... i am suffering from this turmoil especially after the one woman that i wanted so badly rejected me.. i dunno......... i am finding it difficult to hold myself together... if i find a gun i wud put it in my mouth and end the pain once and for all.... I am very concerned. Please call the hotline, if you'd like I'll check this thread tomorrow and catch up and see that you're ok... Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 why? can you explain that sentence? This surprises me because you clearly give others valid advice and seem to have things fairly well together . I believe you would tell other poster in the same situation that in time things will look up . Everyone has suffering and everyone has joy , don't do anything you can't take back. And call the hotline. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 noclobber, please call the hotline, take a walk in a park with JUST YOUR KEYS. Please call a friend too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author noclobber Posted March 3, 2006 Author Share Posted March 3, 2006 thanks guys! i would rather prefer to hear from you wonderful people instead of calling hotline and talking to some strangers... can you please tell me how to handle rejection? i think that woman's rejection is eating me alive... i had problems before but when she entered my life my focus fell on her... i began to enjoy life once again.... i completely forgot all my problems... now that she has rejected me i feel void and empty... my focus is going to back my problems... god, why is it so difficult to find love Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 I'm sorry you're feeling so s***ty. I know you FEEL like offing yourself, just don't actually follow through on that Noclobber. If you DO feel that urge, call 911 or the hotline. I don't want anything bad to happen to you! I will try my best to give you my thoughts. Who knows why she rejected you. Could be the timing wasn't right. Could be that she became your escape, your happy place. It's hard when you're feeling down to bring out good feelings inside yourself. So, it seems that she brought out those great feelings in you and now she isn't there to bring them out anymore. She is now the cause of more pain, instead of preventing pain. Happiness has to come within, that inner love and respect for yourself. She helped you out of your shell, so remember those good times - Don't let the bad stuff take over in your head. Gotta keep your mind busy otherwise you will sit and think about it, feel worse. Maybe it's time to go talk to a therapist, someone who can help you deal with those other problems. Running from them isn't a good idea...Sooner or later it will catch up to you. Giving you afew hugs right now, cuz you need 'em. Keep posting your thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 i would rather prefer to hear from you wonderful people instead of calling hotline and talking to some strangers... sorry but I don't understand the difference....are not us all on LS strangers? Link to post Share on other sites
Author noclobber Posted March 3, 2006 Author Share Posted March 3, 2006 thanks whichwayisup.. i dunno... when i asked her whether we can take our friendship to the next level and date she said "i don't have feelings for you". i feel insulted and humiliated!!!! its like i am not attractive or manly or desirable enough or whatever..... its hurting so bad... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 There is a comfort zone here Alpha. Yes, we are strangers, but we've all shared thoughts, stories and opinions, helped eachother out here on LS. OFcourse noone "knows" eachother, but it is more personable than calling a hotline. Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 its important that you call the hotline b/c none of us is trained to handle suicidal feelings and would have to just guess as to what to say .Poeple at the hotline know what to do to help you. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 thanks whichwayisup.. i dunno... when i asked her whether we can take our friendship to the next level and date she said "i don't have feelings for you". i feel insulted and humiliated!!!! its like i am not attractive or manly or desirable enough or whatever..... its hurting so bad... You are a good person, always believe that. So she didn't have feelings for you in that romantic way. That is HER loss, not yours. Yes, it hurts to be rejected, but it means that she wasn't the right one for you. I know, tell your heart that now, it doesn't make sense...But soon, you will see that and realize you're better off. The last thing you need is to put energy into a woman who doesn't deserve your attention! HER LOSS. Keep on saying that! Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 its important that you call the hotline b/c none of us is trained to handle suicidal feelings and would have to just guess as to what to say .Poeple at the hotline know what to do to help you. I disagree....he needs to go to the emergency room at the nearest medical facilty and tell them he's having sucidal ideation. they will help him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author noclobber Posted March 3, 2006 Author Share Posted March 3, 2006 Thanks so much guys... I am just going for a walk, try taking some deep breaths, and resolve my feelings. I am also planning to call my dear friend in New York and talk to him. personally i feel that talking with a friend is the best thing to do now... I am combating my feelings and emotions and trying to get out of the loop... wish me luck Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 I disagree....he needs to go to the emergency room at the nearest medical facilty and tell them he's having sucidal ideation. they will help him. I agree alpha especially since hes already given examples of how to do it. Noclobber , please don't just talk to us about this , none of us are educated as to what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 How I handle rejection... First back off and walk away. Leave the cell phone OFF and take it with you. My friends and I have done many things to handle each others rejection/dumper/dumpee. If I was by myself, I'll just sulk, take naps, be a bum, for 4 hours, then snap out of it and go do something I like to do, ie. hobbies or goto a jazz bar/club, people watch and enjoy the music. Pick a single girl and buy her a drink; just talk. Don't expect anything; just a loss of $8-20 for some conversation. Do some local travel and get out of the house; be away in other words. The change of location or scenary forces me to get over it; its after I go back to the hotel room that I bum out. However that is 4 hours less of being down than before. Next day it would be 6 hours less, etc... Do something that you enjoy and it takes your mind off of things. If my friends with kids, go hang out with them. Hang around their kids, they are fun and hilarious at times. They fall, boink their head on the floor, they give a funny look then start laughing and get running again. For me they give me inspiration to get up and try again. be a kid again; brush off the dirt, get some of their energy, then stand back up and run with it again. I know how it is with a MS degree, IT, indian, "failure" I can relate, except the indian, I'm chinese. I failed in college and still graduated got a job at a Fortune 50 because the hiring manager said that was a badge of honor. Failed yet got up and finished. Now I'm at an Ivy institution finishing a MS degree not in CIS but govt. Relationships are hard, I still have feelings for her and yes I want to bang her; she just had a failed one; maybe two if you include me. heck I presented her a diamond ring to say I wasn't kidding. I'm a firm believer in getting up, brush off the dirt, then live to fight another day. In the meantime, excercise, improve oneself, learn something new. Ask a female friend for guidance like what do I need to improve myself. You'll be surprised what friends would do and what they suggest. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 Thanks so much guys... I am just going for a walk, try taking some deep breaths, and resolve my feelings. I am also planning to call my dear friend in New York and talk to him. personally i feel that talking with a friend is the best thing to do now... I am combating my feelings and emotions and trying to get out of the loop... wish me luck Yup, that is good and don't be alone right now..Reach out to your friends and definately PLEASE do not do something you can't take back. If you start to feel that awful feeling come back - Call 911 or go to Emerg. Post back when you're back home so we know you're OK. Link to post Share on other sites
Author noclobber Posted March 3, 2006 Author Share Posted March 3, 2006 Yup, that is good and don't be alone right now..Reach out to your friends and definately PLEASE do not do something you can't take back. If you start to feel that awful feeling come back - Call 911 or go to Emerg. Post back when you're back home so we know you're OK. Thank you! I adore you! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 You're welcome! Now promise me you aren't going to do something stupid... If you know what I mean. And if you DO feel awful, call 911 or go to the hospital. Promise us that, k. Link to post Share on other sites
Author noclobber Posted March 3, 2006 Author Share Posted March 3, 2006 Thanks much Jearbear... I will do my best and try to hold myself together.. How I handle rejection... First back off and walk away. Leave the cell phone OFF and take it with you. My friends and I have done many things to handle each others rejection/dumper/dumpee. If I was by myself, I'll just sulk, take naps, be a bum, for 4 hours, then snap out of it and go do something I like to do, ie. hobbies or goto a jazz bar/club, people watch and enjoy the music. Pick a single girl and buy her a drink; just talk. Don't expect anything; just a loss of $8-20 for some conversation. Do some local travel and get out of the house; be away in other words. The change of location or scenary forces me to get over it; its after I go back to the hotel room that I bum out. However that is 4 hours less of being down than before. Next day it would be 6 hours less, etc... Do something that you enjoy and it takes your mind off of things. If my friends with kids, go hang out with them. Hang around their kids, they are fun and hilarious at times. They fall, boink their head on the floor, they give a funny look then start laughing and get running again. For me they give me inspiration to get up and try again. be a kid again; brush off the dirt, get some of their energy, then stand back up and run with it again. I know how it is with a MS degree, IT, indian, "failure" I can relate, except the indian, I'm chinese. I failed in college and still graduated got a job at a Fortune 50 because the hiring manager said that was a badge of honor. Failed yet got up and finished. Now I'm at an Ivy institution finishing a MS degree not in CIS but govt. Relationships are hard, I still have feelings for her and yes I want to bang her; she just had a failed one; maybe two if you include me. heck I presented her a diamond ring to say I wasn't kidding. I'm a firm believer in getting up, brush off the dirt, then live to fight another day. In the meantime, excercise, improve oneself, learn something new. Ask a female friend for guidance like what do I need to improve myself. You'll be surprised what friends would do and what they suggest. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 good for you, no clobber. physical activity will take your mind off your emotional state. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts