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You're doing brilliantly, NC. Really glad you're feeling better now - and it's thoughtful of you to come back and express your appreciation to everyone like that.

 

:)

 

How's my avatar? (its me)

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Whoops. Okay. Eyes to dive into and swim around in. Better? ;)

 

hahaha... you are so funny :)

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Noclobber,

I saw this post and another one from 2005 where you inquired about the dating scene in the US and being an indian myself, I thought I owed this to you:) I moved here to the US about five years ago at the age of 18. I don't know much details about your life so forgive me for making any invalid assumptions.

I am an average looking(or the lack of) guy. Being an indian myself and having a lot of Indian/Pakistani friends, I have come to realize that when it comes to girls, us "desis" tend to be way too emotional. Personally speaking, the thing i feared the most when it came to girls was the fear of getting rejected..and seriously! that prevented me from getting into the dating scene for atleast the first two years of the time I spent over here. I was desperately trying to understand the culture. But you know what I finally ended up realizing? Us humans are all the same no matter what part of the world we come from. Deep down inside we all share the same emotions and beliefs.. on the outside, what sets us apart is mostly our religious and cultural beliefs.

I am thankful to a very very good friend of mine who made me overcome the fear of rejection. I've dated a lot of girls during the past few years of all different races. Asians, South Asians, middle easterns, blacks, whites.. you name it.. I have been rejected by more girls than I have dated. I've been rejected by girls that I thought were "the ones" and that I had known for years. I've had girls that had slept with me and the next day when I'd ask them where our relationship was headed to, they'd end up telling me that "we're just friends".. and i've had girls who were supposedly serious with me and it turned out they were sleeping with my bestfriend at the same time they were in a relationship with me. It was a sad situation for me but now when I look back at it, I laugh at my self for being in such a sad emotional state back then.

At this point in my life, I am in a relationship with the girl of my dreams.. we have a lot in common even though we have different backgrounds and we belong to different races. I now feel thankful to those girls for rejecting me as I have realized that they were never meant for me and I have always had someone better for me in the future. I am very serious with my girlfriend but I do realize that if something happens to our relationship in the future, I would not let that affect my life because there would always be someone else who'd be willing to be with me.

My advise to you is to be positive. Don't let a rejection by a girl ruin your life. Don't let another person ruin your life for that matter. Your life is your life and life is a great gift. Don't let the race be a factor. Don't let the gender be a factor either. Treat girls like humans.. thats what they are seriously just like you and me. Treat them like you'd treat another guy friend of yours. However, do make an effort to understand their beliefs and if you like them and you think they are benificial, try to adapt to them. Emotions are very useful for this life but sometimes they can be a big burden. You just have to realize that.

If a girl doesn't like you for what you are then she is not meant for you and trust me there are 3 billion females on this planet and there are quite a few who would adore you for what you are!

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Thank you so much :)

 

I am feeling much better now.

 

Yeah I think my problem was I got way too much emotional about the whole thing. A lot of other things that were happening in my life made her rejection look really big. But I have learned many many important lessons from this one single experience!

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Such as? It might help someone else in the same place you were to hear how you ended up and what you think now, if you're comfortable with sharing.

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