Life Posted September 6, 2001 Share Posted September 6, 2001 When is the "right" time to give up on something? Do we wait unitl it is blatantly obvious that there is no chance in hell of success or do we give up at the first sign of failure? For most of us it's probably somewhere in between, but where? I've often wondered whether something is worth further effort, or if I should have given up a long time ago. How do you draw the correct balance between the two? Hindsight is always 20/20 but no two situations are exactly the same... Does giving up too easily mean you're a coward? Does fighting too hard mean you're stubborn or unreasonably idealistic? When do you give up your dreams and aspirations and buckle down to the realities of life? Link to post Share on other sites
arthropod Posted September 6, 2001 Share Posted September 6, 2001 i believe you decide your lines for how much effort you're willing to put into something. if it's more trouble than it's worth, then forget it! it's not EASY to determine these limits, but it makes things MUCH easier afterwards. When is the "right" time to give up on something? Do we wait unitl it is blatantly obvious that there is no chance in hell of success or do we give up at the first sign of failure? For most of us it's probably somewhere in between, but where? I've often wondered whether something is worth further effort, or if I should have given up a long time ago. How do you draw the correct balance between the two? Hindsight is always 20/20 but no two situations are exactly the same... Does giving up too easily mean you're a coward? Does fighting too hard mean you're stubborn or unreasonably idealistic? When do you give up your dreams and aspirations and buckle down to the realities of life? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted September 6, 2001 Share Posted September 6, 2001 Your post has to do with what in psychology is called "entrapment." Entrapment is the reason people continue playing the lottery every week with only one chance in millions of winning. Entrapment is the reason people stay in terrible relationships for years after they should have gotten out. Entrapment is why people stay in rotten jobs they should have quit long ago. Basically, people remain in situations because they are afraid that if they get out, tomorrow is THE DAY things would get better. They continue to play the lottery, against all odds, because they are afraid that if they don't buy tickets, the next drawing will be THE ONE in which they would have been the grand prize winner. People stay in bad relationships because they are afraid that if they break up or get a divorce, next week is THE WEEK that things will change and get much better after such a long investment of time and emotion. So, instead of bailing out of situations and ending destructive behaviors we remain because we hope against all odds that things will be different tomorrow...and tomorrow we hold that same hope for tomorrow, and on and on and on. When a person learns to take the consequences and not to concern himself about tomorrow one way or the other and weigh all the evidence present at hand to make a decision about when to end something, he is much better off. I hope this helps answer your question. Link to post Share on other sites
confused person Posted September 6, 2001 Share Posted September 6, 2001 If you don't have the intestinal fortitude , then don't go blaming exogenous factors. Either you want it on some level, unconcious, subconscious, or otherwise, or you're not prepared to do it. It's all up to you. Your post has to do with what in psychology is called "entrapment." Entrapment is the reason people continue playing the lottery every week with only one chance in millions of winning. Entrapment is the reason people stay in terrible relationships for years after they should have gotten out. Entrapment is why people stay in rotten jobs they should have quit long ago. Basically, people remain in situations because they are afraid that if they get out, tomorrow is THE DAY things would get better. They continue to play the lottery, against all odds, because they are afraid that if they don't buy tickets, the next drawing will be THE ONE in which they would have been the grand prize winner. People stay in bad relationships because they are afraid that if they break up or get a divorce, next week is THE WEEK that things will change and get much better after such a long investment of time and emotion. So, instead of bailing out of situations and ending destructive behaviors we remain because we hope against all odds that things will be different tomorrow...and tomorrow we hold that same hope for tomorrow, and on and on and on. When a person learns to take the consequences and not to concern himself about tomorrow one way or the other and weigh all the evidence present at hand to make a decision about when to end something, he is much better off. I hope this helps answer your question. Link to post Share on other sites
Life Posted September 7, 2001 Share Posted September 7, 2001 Your post has to do with what in psychology is called "entrapment." Entrapment is the reason people continue playing the lottery every week with only one chance in millions of winning. Entrapment is the reason people stay in terrible relationships for years after they should have gotten out. Entrapment is why people stay in rotten jobs they should have quit long ago. Basically, people remain in situations because they are afraid that if they get out, tomorrow is THE DAY things would get better. They continue to play the lottery, against all odds, because they are afraid that if they don't buy tickets, the next drawing will be THE ONE in which they would have been the grand prize winner. People stay in bad relationships because they are afraid that if they break up or get a divorce, next week is THE WEEK that things will change and get much better after such a long investment of time and emotion. So, instead of bailing out of situations and ending destructive behaviors we remain because we hope against all odds that things will be different tomorrow...and tomorrow we hold that same hope for tomorrow, and on and on and on. When a person learns to take the consequences and not to concern himself about tomorrow one way or the other and weigh all the evidence present at hand to make a decision about when to end something, he is much better off. I hope this helps answer your question. Link to post Share on other sites
Angelinmymind Posted September 10, 2001 Share Posted September 10, 2001 you give up when you realize the pain of doing it is harder then you can take - its never easy but sometimes it is the right choice i believe you decide your lines for how much effort you're willing to put into something. if it's more trouble than it's worth, then forget it! it's not EASY to determine these limits, but it makes things MUCH easier afterwards. Link to post Share on other sites
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