Mydish1 Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 first off, im a late bloomer and just got into the dating game last fall... it seems everyone around my age already has a SO...which is disappointing me. Girls that im interested in, boom they have a bf. Girls im not initially interested in but they are in me...boom again they have a bf. Finding a Bachelorette is growing commonly rare. Anyway i guess my question is, do men/women cheat to have a fling with someone else or are they actually considering upgrading their SO?? The last chick i dated turned out to have a bf (but didnt learn until a month later). Nothing came out of it and was a few month fling and it ended without notice....i felt used and humiliated when it ended. i know beforehand these girls have a bf cause the convo comes up eventually. girl w/ a bf will let me get her # and accept my date proposal or another one w/bf quietly schemes and tells me about an event going on for a get together, inviting me. Now i know if i go the same route i might run into disappointment again in the end. Is there a sure fire way to know if they're just using me for a fling or are they planning to get me as an upgrade? (it doesnt seem like they're after attention from me, we equally share interest & questions in one another) Guys & girls, if you cant answer my question but have experience in this area, please do share, it would be insightful in my situation.. Link to post Share on other sites
Devildog Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Basically you are asking about a trying to have a relationship with someone who would cheat on a SO to be with you. So if she would cheat with you, what makes yu think she won't cheat on you? These relationships are built on a foundation of lies and dishonesty. With a foundation like that, it is sure to crumble. Of course, when you make comments like or are they planning to get me as an upgrade? you do tend to sound a bit arrogant. I mean really, if you are this uber stud that any woman would be lucky to have, then you shouldn't have any problem attracting single girls as well as cheating ones right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mydish1 Posted March 4, 2006 Author Share Posted March 4, 2006 Basically you are asking about a trying to have a relationship with someone who would cheat on a SO to be with you. So if she would cheat with you, what makes yu think she won't cheat on you? These relationships are built on a foundation of lies and dishonesty. With a foundation like that, it is sure to crumble. Well, no matter how much one tries to deny it, there sometimes is some type of cheating involved on either or both ends of a relationship. Of course, when you make comments like you do tend to sound a bit arrogant. I mean really, if you are this uber stud that any woman would be lucky to have, then you shouldn't have any problem attracting single girls as well as cheating ones right? I did not mean it like that. What i meant is often too many times there ARE people out there already in relationships, that DO DO bf/gf upgrades. they just settle with the partner until something better comes along. Personally those are not the morals i would live by if i were in a relationship, but im stating people like these do indeed exist. I'm not trying to say im anything. look i've never had a relationship and have only dated/been with a couple women in my life so far. I truly do hate the idea that i did not pick this up when i was a teenager. if i could turn back time i would. if it were that easy to find a single girl in nyc, you think i wouldnt? So dont try to flame me if you dont understand what im going through... Link to post Share on other sites
Devildog Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 I did not mean it like that. What i meant is often too many times there ARE people out there already in relationships, that DO DO bf/gf upgrades. they just settle with the partner until something better comes along. Personally those are not the morals i would live by if i were in a relationship, but im stating people like these do indeed exist. So don't accept that. just because they exist doesn't mean you need to get involved with them. If you want a relationship, do it right. If you want to have a fling or if you don't mind getting kicked to the curb when someone else comes along, then by all means pursue a relationship with someone who will trade you in. And you said DO DO Link to post Share on other sites
Sand&Water Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Devildog is right on this one. I see your only interested in one type of relationship... flings and its temporary, so you shouldn't be at any loss. Believe me when I say, you should stick to single women; women who cheat and upgrade their mates are in no shape respectful to themselves or their significant other. Its quiet sad that you would consider chasing a woman with a bf. Trashing their relationship so that you can just have a fling with her PUHLEASE. No one wants a selfish guy lurking in the background, attempting to steal their SO. Link to post Share on other sites
phyrespryte Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Now i know if i go the same route i might run into disappointment again in the end. Is there a sure fire way to know if they're just using me for a fling or are they planning to get me as an upgrade? (it doesnt seem like they're after attention from me, we equally share interest & questions in one another) There isn't really any way to know if you're just a fling or someone they'd want to pursue a relationship with. Most likely they're just checking to see if there's something better out there. It's best to avoid girls like that. They're not focused and will be constantly comparing you to whatever impresses them at the time. I think you should remind those girls that they have a boyfriend and distance yourself from them. Link to post Share on other sites
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