Telling mom, i have depression

[Jtizzle]

for the people who are suffering from depression, how did you come out to your parents? i am not really one to talk about my feelings, i get them down better with writing, so i was thinking of sending her a email. I am not clinically diagnosed as a depressee *if thats even a word*.but i am sure i have it. I get the anxiety attacks sometimes, cry for loooooooong periods of time, contemplated suicide, and all the works. I hate the expression of you are too young to be depressed, and i feel that is what my mom will say,because i am only 19. so yea thats my deal, how did you come out to the people you love? and did they support you fully?

[sazzya1987]

When I told my mum I was feeling quite depressed for a while I wrote her a note on paper and left it where she could find it.

[Yamaha]

You need to talk about this to your family. Depression is an illness and it needs to be treated by a professional. Your mom will not dis-own you for talking about this to her. Tell her, or a friend, how you are feeling. It is the first step to recovery.

 

Good Luck.

[Curmudgeon]

There is no shame in having a mental/emotional disorder. It doesn't define you. It could be brain chemistry over which you have no control, whatsoever. What's important is that you talk to your physician, tell him or her and they can refer you to a mental health professional who can confirm the diagnosis, if it exists, and get you the assistance you need.

 

My wife is bipolar and went for 40 years undiagnosed and untreated before I tentatively diagnosed her after we'd been married for four years and we had it confirmed through a full psychiatric evaluation. Now she's getting the meds and treatment she needs and deserves. Over those 40 years she had two very successful careers and raised her two daughters with no support, whatsoever, from their father.

 

Society still stigmatizes the mentally ill mainly out of fear and ignorance. You can be stronger than that, especially with your parents who are supposed to love you unconditionally.

 

If you need some help contact http://www.nami.org/ They'll have a local chapter near you.

[quankanne]

before you beat yourself senselessly over the thought that you may have to "come out" about a chemical imbalance, read this site through a couple of times: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/articles/article.php?artID=160

 

it gives a very good idea about what is going on with your body when there is a chemical imbalance (either too much or too little) and how that affects you physically and psychologically.

 

don't EVER be ashamed that you may possess a chemical imbalance – lots of people are affected by it, but not all will make or know to make the step of remedying it with medications. Because you are aware of these changes in your body/system, and because you sound willing to take the next step to help care for yourself, you are way ahead of the game.

 

several years ago, I started on a downhill slump, both mentally and physically because there were too many things in my life that I was trying to handle, including my MiL and my mom dying within six months of each other, driving long distances as often as possible to spend time with my mom and working full-time on top of that while trying to keep up my household. It felt like I was underwater: I knew I was way past dog-tired, to a point where I vaguely knew something was wrong but I wasn't sure what or how to help myself. I thank God for my doctor, who was watching me closely and who put me on an antidepressant two years ago. As he explained it, my body was run down and because I'm diabetic, the impact was even harder than it'd normally be. With medication and exercise, I've gotten to a point where I feel in control, and those times of feeling distanced are far and few in between.

 

now, telling my dad was hard because he could be an *ss about mental health problems (my mother went through a period of depression about a year or two before she died, my guess is from the stress the diabetes was having on her body, and depression was how her body coped with the disease – my dad was not very supportive in that sense, and I think it only exacerbated her problem). I finally had to make an end-run by reciting what I'd learned from the website I posted above, about how your body responds to stress situations and how a chemical imbalance can manifest itself in a bad case of the blues/depression. Until I got it through to him that I was jeopardizing my health by trying to do what I had been doing without taking care of myself, he couldn't understand that it was a serious problem.

 

husband was worried about me, and I think relieved when I finally got help and started responding to meds; my one sister didn't say a whole lot, but I felt her support because she'd dealt with similar issues with one of her kids as well as works in the health industry, so she saw how people were pretty much bulldozed by depression when they weren't able to get help. Other sister was a jackass about it, but since she's headed toward serious problems herself, it's only a matter of time that she changes her attitude.

 

take the stigma out of the whole issue by explaining that your body operates much like a car does: you have to provide maintenance and service on that car so that it operates the best way possible, but it's not unusually to have to schedule oil changes or replacing break pads so that it's safe and runs well. Same with blood chemistry – it has to be at "proper" levels so that your body operates well. the only shame attached to depression is that people don't try to understand it, and that's their loss.

 

talk to your doctor about getting help, as well as get advise about how to find an enjoyable physical outlet (exercise) to help you work off any stress.

 

in the meantime, hugs to you for addressing such a sensitive issue, and the best of luck in talking to your family. We're here for you, kiddo.

[Guest]

Also, realize that depression might be hereditary. I went for 33 years with untreated depression, and when I finally realized what was going on and spoke to my mother about it, she revealed that my entire family has it in one form or another.

 

Even if you do talk about this with your family, you might find out that the possibility has been there all along. In any case, it's nothing to be ashamed of. My mom deals with it by joking around... "Hey, don't worry, it's fashionable to be depressed now!" =) She's been on medication for the last 25 years and has never felt better in her life.

 

I would definitely go see someone about this - and for Gawd's sake, don't wait. I made that mistake, and I'm sorry I did, because I've finally got my life back.

 

Good luck to you.