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am i over-reacting?


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hi everyone i've been in a relationship with a man about the same age as me for about a year now, and was extremely happy up until today.... we are both strongly opposed to cheating and lying in a relationship as we have both been hurt before and I thought i had found someone i could finally trust.

 

But today.... he was telling me about a test he took in a class he didn't like and i asked "was it very difficult?", he said "no, i just copied a friends answesr". I said "oh, that's so bad.." and he thought i was joking and laughed.

 

This made me feel so awful. He has always said that he did not like lying, but i feel that cheating is lying too. i thought that we had never lied to each other, and he says that he did not lie to me, but i am worried that if he could lie to a teacher by putting down copied answers on a test, he could also lie to me just as easily. also, i understand that he was struggling with the subject but that does not justify cheating for me. When i told him all this he said "you are right" and he seemed sad but he did not show any desire to change. i want him to pass of course but cheating is unacceptable to me.

 

Am i paranoid for worrying now that he may lie to me??? DO you think that cheating on a test could lead to cheating on a girlfriend?? I told him "i can't trust you anymore"... was this wrong to say?

 

idk.. please help i am so confused... he said he felt hurt too but i thought he would never do something like copy answers a test..i don't know what to think anymore

 

thanks

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I can see why you think dishonesty in one area may indicate a potential for dishonesty in another, but if this is the only indication you have of him being dishonest, I'd say yes, you are overreacting. Now if he is constantly lying over little things with no remorse to everyone but you, you have to wonder if that "everyone but you" part is really true. But cheating on a test in a class he's struggling with is pretty far from that.

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I can see why you think dishonesty in one area may indicate a potential for dishonesty in another, but if this is the only indication you have of him being dishonest, I'd say yes, you are overreacting. Now if he is constantly lying over little things with no remorse to everyone but you, you have to wonder if that "everyone but you" part is really true. But cheating on a test in a class he's struggling with is pretty far from that.

 

should i apologize then?:confused:

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Probably. I wouldn't completely backtrack. Tell him you still feel that he doesn't need to lie to you personally for it to make you wonder about his honesty, but you do understand this was a pretty minor thing to say I can never trust you again over.

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Drama..drama..sounds like you might be a little too into the drama drama. I don't agree with cheating either but to move from he cheated on a test to he could cheat on me now and lie to me..yeah I'd say you over reacted. I got nothing but love for you but..has anyone ever called you a drama queen? Trust me, you don't want to be one of those.

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