Second chance - maybe not

[southern gal]

I dated a guy for about 5 mths, actually started to feel like this was someone who I could be with for awhile....

 

Then I screwed up....let my guard down, went to a block party with him and my son. I did a more then I was use to (I rarely let my guard down) and was really toast. I was fine until we got back to my house and then freaked out, stayed in the kitchen, I am never toast around my son. I finally chilled a little and went in to the bed room, he was trying to get me to lay down, and my son came in and he said something about he should be in bed. And I said something like what did it matter he wasn't going to spend the night (he has a bad back)....he said something...and then I just said "Get out". Well that was that....I waited about 3 days and called him to apologize, he said he wasn't sure he how he felt and would call me.

 

Needless to say I never heard from him, I did return one of his tools a couple of weeks latter. He was like they way he was before we dated.

 

3 years later.....Ran into each other while at a friends house, talked like friends, and later that night I was with another friend and she called him to see if we could park in his drive way to go to a mardi gra parade. Of course since we are friends and were using his drive we asked he to go with us. He made drinks and we all went, well he ended up being friendly, holding my hand, holding me close watching the parade. When we got back to his house I was laying on the couch and I know he was touching my hair. Well I remember my friend was just sitting there so I got up and she was needing to leave and I had to get up early and do some work the next day so we left.

 

I was kinda expecting him to call me after that...well one week later...I saw him out in his yard. And could not stand it any longer (I resisted calling since he was the one who decided not to call 3 years ago) so I stopped and said Thank you! for letting us park at his house, even though I did'nt drive, and that I had fun....asked what he was doing....working on ...what was I doing nothing....chatted some more... .and I ended it by saying I didn't want to keep him from what he was doing and left.----Gez, I didn't mean it to be so long.

 

I don't know why I am writing this, I guess because there is no one I can tell and need to release....I can't believe I thought he would call. I swear he looked at me the same way he did when we were at our best. Any thoughts.