me!!!

[LondonDistressed]

Ok, so Im young, and people say there is plenty more fish in the sea but its never that easy.

 

Ever feel like your in a relationship where your doing all the running and chasing, even when its not your fault.

 

I was with my partner for 2 years. For me it was love at first sight and without question there never was a question about it. I trusted everything she ever said to me. We used to have this thing where we would swear on eachothers life about things that the other was unsure about, you see that was like our little thing that was a bit like a switch. Once those words had been uttered "I swear on your life" there was never any questions about anything, and that helped to build alot of trust.

 

She had a "male best friend" who she trusted and always confided in, she told him everything and they were pretty close. At the time she even claimed that she was not doing anything with him that nothing ever happened between them. Then she confessed to me that he said that he was in love with her. I went crazy and said she could never speak to her again, he was one of her best friends and she was obviously upset about this so a week or two later I called him and for her benefit told him she didn't want to be with him but I thought they should talk because he obviously was a good friend.

 

Time goes on, they stop talking we carried on with our ups and downs. Then I find out she was pregnant and shortly after she lost the baby, we both took it pretty badly, I couldn't imagine what she went through. I tried to be there but couldn't be at my best for reasons to do with how I was handling the situation but I tried. But time went on and together we got through it.

 

Throughout the period of our relationship I was told there could never be anyone else, that she would never look at anyone else, she had never touched or kissed another guy in all the time we were together (all the time with her swearing on my life).

 

Then one day I find out details about her and this guy, in depth details slipped from a mutual friend. It would seem that when he confessed she was at his place (which I never knew about), she slept with him unprotected (and she would have unprotected sex with me a day or two later) and from what I heard she asked him to stay with her but he left afterwards. This was why she was really upset that time. She also carried on speaking to him (after giving me her word she never would again) and there is some confusion as to what it is they spoke about however she told him about the pregnancy and miscarriage and he apparently seemed to think it was his.

 

I questioned her if she ever slept with him, she said no. I asked her if she ever kissed him she said no. This went on and she swore on my life this was all true and called me "messed up" for even suggesting something like that. I told her I knew she was lying and she shouted at me calling me liar swearing at me saying I didn't know s*** and I told her I knew she slept with him and that I'm finished with her. She emailed me and told me she had slept with him but denied unprotected sex or even the possibility that the child was not mine, she also denied asking him to stay.

 

She didn't ask for me back or for forgiveness but said sorry. They had stopped talking for a reason he had been braggin about how it was because she asked him to stay and he left, she said I don't remember she says he went away and was just acting like a prick, never saying why. Another point despite unprotected sex and the timings being close, she claimed it was my baby and there was not question because he apparently didn't come, it didn't go on for that long. I asked her if she stopped it she said no i said what did she never answered. He had spoken to the mutul friend and claimed to have pulled out before cumming but not being too sure.

 

I did go back and in fact asked her back because I love her, what she did made me sick, it was impaled in my thoughts but I wanted her back, I wanted to forgive her. I told her that she could never lie to me again, she agreed and promised she never would I asked her about unprotected sex and asking him to stay and she denied it. A couple days later it was getting to me and I needed to know I could trust her so I asked her to swear on our unborn and dead child (looking back this was probably in ill taste) she couldn't lie and told me that she did have unprotected sex with him but she never wanted to be with him or asked him to stay despite the word being otherwise. We broke up and I went back to her.

 

A day later we are back to gether and she promises no more lies. One thing she had never done is give me her home address because she cliamed her father didn't like it (when not with me she lives at home). As its a distance away, I have never been there. I haven't questioned the address apart from on valentines day. I find out that he had her address and he was planning on sending her flowers. I asked if she had given the address to anyone else she swore on my life and denied and denied and denied. I told her I have found out the truth every time so far and you want to contine lying to me, she clocked i knew and confessed giving the address to him but when asked, why? She said she didn't know, this answer was becoming common place in unomfortable questions for her. Claiming it was so long ago she forgot.

 

I don't know if I can trust her or even speak to her, she seems to be genuine but carries on lying. I have spoken to her nearly every day for almost two years (apart from the day she decided to sleep with him). So even by association its seriously hard to leave, I don't know what to do.

[Bryanp]

My friend you need a reality check. She is playing you for such a fool. She swears to you time and again that she is telling you the truth but you find out she lies to your face over and over again. She says she has never kissed anybody while you both were together but you find out she has sex with this other guy and it is unprotected sex which puts your health at risk for STD's. She could have been pregnant by this guy and she gives her address to this guy but not you? Step back a bit. Why would you want to be with a person who can lie to your face over and over again sleeps with another man having unprotected sex while she is your girlfriend? You would have to be out of your mind to remain with her. She is totally untrustworthy and has no problem lying and cheating on you. Why would you settle for this? Clearly this girl has absolutely no respect for you. If you do not respect yourself then who will?

[yawhatever]

Yes, I agree. Have some respect, let her go, leave her, ignore her, don't contact her anymore, and if she does play it cool, don't tell her whats going on in your life. There are too many good women out there that will treat you right for you to be worrying about her this much, I know its hard, easier said than done, but it can be done, just find someone else you can confide in, learn from your mistakes.