still needing some advice..pls...

[jennie]

well things have been going really good lately...i have been feeling soooooo much better since i've been on the thyroid meds and an anti-depressant for the obsessive thinking thing.

 

still......however, i can't seem to shake this wanting to leave and move back to iowa, yes willingly. we have been doing really good in counseling and things for the most part are definitely improving.

 

so then why is it when we do have a little tif i still want to bolt out the door? i just don't understand that part of me....i have discussed this in counseling and she thinks i am living in an iowa fantasy, i beg to differ.

 

i know at times when like he wants to do something and i have no interest in it, like some concerts he went and bought tickets for knowing i don't even like that kind of music, or he makes plans to go somewhere that he knows i don't feel comfortable going, like waaaaay up in the mountains, or when he wants to do something that he knows i don't feel comfortable doing, like going on sight seeing trains through the mountains...yet he does things that i want to do without blinking an eye, like going to dwight yoakam concert....he is very giving..where i am not..dispite wanting to be...it is hard to bring myself to do things with him and or for him, but for others that ask of me too...i don't try to be selfish tho, but i really feel that i am..

 

it is at those times i feel so imcompatable...and at those times it really reinforces my wanting to run....mind you these things don't really cause any fights as he does alot of sacrificing for me to make me happy and i try to do the same by going to some of these things with him as he wants, but still i feel like he would be doing alot more if i was not holding him back and i feel bad about it.

 

but there are sooooo many little things like that that i feel i hold him back from....geeeez talk about mismatched or having nothing in common...so it is these things that still bother me..

 

i know it is not him, i know alot of it is just my hangups and or the way that i am....still i feel i'm being so unfair to him, yet it is hard to do things when you really just don't feel comfortable or don't want to.

 

i feel so selfish about it too...i know he don't want me to leave tho, that dispite everything we do get along great, we are still very loving and affectionate towards each other and very supportive of each other as well, it's just that my thoughts in my head hold me back and keep me in iowa, but the love in my heart keeps me in colorado...

 

and i've been very faithful on my meds, just had to switch them once!

[Laurynn]

Personally, Jennie..I think you'll never be content in life unless you have something to complain about. You admit you have a good man, you admit he makes a lot of sacrifices for you, you admit you're both very affectionate to each other. What the hell more do you want? There are thousands of women out there who'd give their eye teeth to have a good mine like you have.

 

You seem to expect him to be your "clone"..to have the exact same likes and dislikes that you have. Aren't you the least bit openminded? So what he buys tickets for concerts that you don't like, or wants to take a train ride...have you ever heard of expanding your horizons and trying new things? What about doing things HE likes because you love him?! At least the guy doesn't sound like some lazy couch-potato, bump-on-a-log who wants to sit at home all time, drinking beer and watching WWF. Instead of complaining, why don't you think about all the good things you have?

 

I'm not a shrink or therapist, but it seems you thrive on this desire to run back to Iowa. It's like you're obsessed with it. When things don't go 'perfectly' your way, you (no offense here) act like a child having a temper tantrum and you want to run away.

 

Life and relationships aren't perfect.

 

It's good that you're beginning to recognize your weakness and shortcomings.....but it's time to do something about them....before you lose this good man that you have.

 

Stop complaining that he has different interests than you. Maybe he'd be really appreciative to have a woman (you) who'd make the effort to take an interest in things that are important to him. Is that too much to ask?

 

L