Guys, I need you to zip my shirt!

[RecordProducer]

So... last night my husband and I went to dinner with an old friend of his and our kids. I was dressed elegantly, I had a long skirt and a shirt with a zipper out of which my boobs were sticking out in a nice way, nothing vulgar or indecent.

 

So when we came home, I asked my husband "How did I look tonight?" and he said: "You looked nice, but I'd zip your shirt about 10 cm higher." 10 cm (~4 inches) would definitely cover my boobs completely.

I asked him why and reminded him of all the women who wear open shirts, but I didn't get any explanation from him. I told him: "Well I am sure when you see a woman with her boobs out, you're staring at them thinking 'Mmmm, nice boobs' and not 'Hm... she should zip them up."

 

I don't think it looked ugly or indecent so I would like you, guys, to decipher his words. He has zipped up this particular shirt for me before too when I was wearing it.

 

The reason why I was so surprised is because my husband is a very liberal and non-jealous person. He has even told me that he wouldn't mind if I flirt with other guys as long as I don't sleep with them. He also fully trusts me.

 

So is it jealousy? Fear that other guys will find me too sexy or provocative? Fear that I need other men's attention? Actually the only person I need attention from is my husband. I wanted his look on my tits, and teasing him in public is sexier than at home, where we can walk naked anyway.

 

Question for the girls: how do your partners react when you expose your boobs?

[quankanne]

you know, RP, I can flash and flash and flash away, but all he does is laugh. I don't think he wants to see them! :laugh:

 

all kidding aside, from time to time, when I dress in something more than my laid-back, casual wardrobe, I'll hear the "you prolly ought to cover that some." Mostly because when I do get decked out, it's for work, and because I work for the church, I've got to be careful not to "reveal" anything more than necessary. In all honesty, it's only been a handful of times that I've been told by him to be a little more modest, most likely thinking "if I were a single guy, I'd be looking at her boobs (etc) in that outfit." I think while they're proud of our attributes, and want their women to be the attractive, appealing ones in a crowd, they also are a bit territorial. Not in a bad way, mind you, but as a wife as opposed to a girlfriend or chicky. My guess is that this is where your DH is coming from: incredibly proud to have a gorgeous girl as his wife, yet a bit protective of you and what you reveal. His behavior is not out of the norm.

 

how have you been adjusting to life in the States? Do you get to go back home often?

[RecordProducer]

because I work for the church, I've got to be careful not to "reveal" anything more than necessary.

Well it's different when you go to work, especially since you work for the church.

 

if I were a single guy, I'd be looking at her boobs

Single? Heh, you're so naive if you think that the marriage certificate suddenly made them blind for other women's boobs, especially when the "cat is not around"!

 

I think while they're proud of our attributes, and want their women to be the attractive, appealing ones in a crowd, they also are a bit territorial.

This is a very good explanation, I think. It makes sense... hmmm... I found his weak spot! Hah!

 

My guess is that this is where your DH is coming from: incredibly proud to have a gorgeous girl as his wife, yet a bit protective of you and what you reveal.

Aww, thanks!

 

how have you been adjusting to life in the States? Do you get to go back home often?

I am adjusting very well, thanks for asking. I just miss my mom terribly. But I don't miss anything other than her.

 

You mean, did I get to go back to Europe often in the last month since I moved here?

[michelangelo]

....that you are revealing more than you think you are in this shirt?

 

Or does he see that you are revealing more with this shirt than you tell him you are and he thinks you're into it?

 

By more, you know what I mean--the whole shebang.

[Becoming]

Territorial behavior, plain and simple. He wants to protect what's "his." Just be glad he didn't whip it out and pee around you!

[RecordProducer]

....that you are revealing more than you think you are in this shirt?

I actually have a mirror at home and looked thoroughly at myself from all angles (including bending over ). It actually looked like many other women you see dressed up for a night out, nothing more than that. It really didn't look vulgar. But boobs are boobs!

 

Or does he see that you are revealing more with this shirt than you tell him you are and he thinks you're into it?

More than I tell him? Sorry, I didn't get this.

 

No, he KNOWS that I am not into it and I am usually dressed very modestly without exposing any parts. I also never look at or comment other guys. Plus we went out together so it's not like I went on a binge to a night club with my girlfriends.

 

By more, you know what I mean--the whole shebang.

I don't know what you mean by this.

 

Territorial behavior, plain and simple. He wants to protect what's "his." Just be glad he didn't whip it out and pee around you!

You're so cute and just gave me a good laugh!

[michelangelo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by michelangelo

....that you are revealing more than you think you are in this shirt?

 

I actually have a mirror at home and looked thoroughly at myself from all angles (including bending over ). It actually looked like many other women you see dressed up for a night out, nothing more than that. It really didn't look vulgar. But boobs are boobs!

 

>> ok

 

 

Quote:

Or does he see that you are revealing more with this shirt than you tell him you are and he thinks you're into it?

 

More than I tell him? Sorry, I didn't get this.

 

 

No, he KNOWS that I am not into it and I am usually dressed very modestly without exposing any parts. I also never look at or comment other guys. Plus we went out together so it's not like I went on a binge to a night club with my girlfriends.

 

>>True, but there are a lot of women who get all dolled up trolling for male attentions when they ARE with their guy, just to do it, like a sport. If you normally do not show cleavage and did for this night he may be wondering why.

 

 

Quote:

 

By more, you know what I mean--the whole shebang.

 

 

I don't know what you mean by this.

 

>>sure you do--nipples dearie.

 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Becoming

 

Territorial behavior, plain and simple. He wants to protect what's "his." Just be glad he didn't whip it out and pee around you!

 

 

You're so cute and just gave me a good laugh!

[JadeStar]

This kind of reminds about something my hubby said to me before. Its like its ok for him to look at women with big boobs or dressed sexy etc, but once when I made the comment of me getting a boob job, I asked him if it was ok, he said to me, "Sure, you can get a boob job, but I wont let you out of the house." Its ok for him to look at other women or mens wives that dress a certain way, have big boobs or whatever, but oh if I were to do that, then it s a different story.

 

 

 

 

Jade

[alphamale]

speaking of boobs I went out Sat nite with this Canadian chick. She was wearing a low-cut blouse that revealed her equipement rather nicely. Basically, she had nice breasts. I'd guess 36 Cs

 

Anyway, she had on a jacket or sweater over the blouse that was open in front. She definately wore that specific blouse to show off her "assets" but every 15 or 20 minutes she would close up her jacket/sweater to be "modest". Then it would open again and I would check them out when she wasn't looking. he he.

 

Most likely I'll be sucking and playing with those babies in a few wks

[RecordProducer]

True, but there are a lot of women who get all dolled up trolling for male attentions when they ARE with their guy, just to do it, like a sport. If you normally do not show cleavage and did for this night he may be wondering why.

This is an interesting point, but wondering why is slightly different from protesting!

 

 

By more, you know what I mean--the whole shebang.

I don't know what you mean by this.

 

>>sure you do--nipples dearie.

No, I really don't. English is not my native tongue so I don't get your slang.

 

Its ok for him to look at other women or mens wives that dress a certain way, have big boobs or whatever, but oh if I were to do that, then it s a different story.

Yeah, my husband also told me once (when I was showing him pictures of sexy dresses) that he wouldn't want to see me dressed as a whore. So I asked him: "So if you see a hot chick dressed like a whore, you'll trun your head away all grossed out or would you rather drool over her and simply admire her body?"

 

I guess it has a lot to do with what guys think when they see boobs. They don't want other men to fantasize about THEIR pair of boobs.

[michelangelo]

I didn't know you were not fluent in English. Seems like you know it pretty darn well.

 

In any event, your guy can just be territorial as the other writers say or something was different that night.

 

My gut tells me that either you showed more than you intended or he thinks you intended to show more than you let on.

 

OR

 

He busted someone staring down your shirt.

[alphamale]

I guess it has a lot to do with what guys think when they see boobs. They don't want other men to fantasize about THEIR pair of boobs.

that's about it in a nutshell....its called territoriality.

[RecordProducer]

I didn't know you were not fluent in English. Seems like you know it pretty darn well.

Thanks. I am fluent, but don't know all the expressions.

 

He busted someone staring down your shirt.

He was funny... when I told him I was ready to go, I had my fur coat on, but his look stopped at my tits.. You should've seen that! Someone would think he saw a ghost. He looked shocked.

 

I assume he thought that I wanted to impress his friend whom I was supposed to meet for the first time yesterday. He is an elder guy. I actually wanted to spice up things between me and my husband. I've been single for a long time, worked as a singer and got tired and sick of all the compliments and men hitting on me... so I am not trying to cure my insecurities by making guys drool over me... only my husband. The point is: if he sees that guys stare at me, I'll be even more interesting to him.

[RecordProducer]

that's about it in a nutshell....its called territoriality.

So the consensus' diagnosis is: territoriality.

 

So Alpha, how does your story with that chick relate to mine?

[alphamale]

So Alpha, how does your story with that chick relate to mine?

both stories involved breasts and showing them off. my point was that certain women like to show off their boobies for a multitude of reasons.

v:laugh:

[michelangelo]

You have also admitted to wanting to make him jealous by making sure your tits get noticed!

 

This is not all about your H being territorial.

 

This strategy can backfire you know.

[whichwayisup]

 

Most likely I'll be sucking and playing with those babies in a few wks

Afew weeks??? Are you slowing down or something?

[alphamale]

Afew weeks??? Are you slowing down or something?

no, see, actually we used to work together then she left and went to a large well-known accounting firm. So I have to show some respect at least because of our professional history. But I know i'm in the door becasue she digs me (and i knew that when we worked together but i don't date co-workers)

[whichwayisup]

no, see, actually we used to work together then she left and went to a large well-known accounting firm. So I have to show some respect at least because of our professional history. But I know i'm in the door becasue she digs me (and i knew that when we worked together but i don't date co-workers)

 

Ahhhhhh, I see. Make sense now.

[whichwayisup]

He wants to enjoy your boobs for himself RP. Probably wouldn't mind a guy or two taking a peak, but he doesn't want any man 'LOOKING' at 'em for too long.

[grateful]

 

I assume he thought that I wanted to impress his friend whom I was supposed to meet for the first time yesterday. He is an elder guy. I actually wanted to spice up things between me and my husband.

 

 

Two things -

 

1) meeting his friend for the first time is probably not the best time to spice things up.

 

2) it's the zipper. if you'd worn a blouse just as low with no zipper i bet he wouldn't have given it a second glance. zippers at cleavage level make men think anybody could reach on over and give it a yank. they just can't handle it.

[whichwayisup]

2) it's the zipper. if you'd worn a blouse just as low with no zipper i bet he wouldn't have given it a second glance. zippers at cleavage level make men think anybody could reach on over and give it a yank. they just can't handle it.

 

Starts off quite the fantasy, eh? Hopefully though the guys would be able to control themselves and not actually pull on it.

 

Very interesting though.

[RecordProducer]

He wants to enjoy your boobs for himself RP. Probably wouldn't mind a guy or two taking a peak, but he doesn't want any man 'LOOKING' at 'em for too long.

Hahah... obviously.

 

 

it's the zipper. if you'd worn a blouse just as low with no zipper i bet he wouldn't have given it a second glance. zippers at cleavage level make men think anybody could reach on over and give it a yank. they just can't handle it.

Very interesting! So you think the zipper itself is erotic?

 

Oh, that also made me think about this... if I wore a blouse just as low, people might think that that was the only thing that was clean in my closet (yeah, right! ), but the fact that the zipper CAN go up higher, but I DON'T WANT IT TO, makes it seem like I wanted to show them off (which of course, I didn't... it's just that the zipper was broken.. thank god, it wasn't broken from the bottom! ).

You have also admitted to wanting to make him jealous by making sure your tits get noticed!

This is not all about your H being territorial.

This strategy can backfire you know.

Michelangelo, I didn't try to make my husband jealous. Jealousy is a bad feeling and I don't want him to feel that way. It's a mere attention-seeking thing. He gets to see me in my sweats (and often peeing on the toilet ) every day at home so I want him to see me as a sexual object outside our home, just like he used to when we were dating.

 

Also, this world is full of boob-showing women everywhere so I don't want my husband to stare at other women's boobs. I want to keep him busy staring at mine... or at least staring at the guys who stare at mine!

[carmaenforcer]

IMO

 

It's really simple, we (Husbands/Men) do look at women dressed smutty but no man wants his wife to be that woman. We want our women to be special, different than every other common woman out there. It validates marriage to this one woman, makes her special and not just one of many.

We will say that we don't mind something (when you girls flirt, when men hit on you, etc.) but we are just saying that to appear secure and confident or we really just don't give a isht about you anymore and just put you on the pile with the rest of them. Community property.

My ex, like a lot of women, used to dress to impress others. She loved to get attention, she would flirt with other guys in front of me to get me jealous or boost her ego. I acted like it didn't bother me and she would brag to her friends of how "not jealous" I was.

Not true, I just got tired of letting her know she had that power over me, because she used it. I would just do the same thing in return, flirt with and allow girl to flirt with me right in front of her. Eventually she got the hint and stopped doing that as much.

The same thing with my current Wife. I guess this, needing constant validation, is just a girl thing. She is extremely flirty with guys and she claims to not see it. A lie of coarse, but the more I complain about it the more she will do it, so I just ignore it. Then she gets so mad when I get attention, even though I am not looking for it.

 

I have issue with her dressing to revealing when going to work, she tried to fight it at first but quickly backed down and has since been very careful of what she wears to work. I have no issue with her dressing however she wants every other time. Guys in the outside world sneaking a look in passing are just that, passing and not a constant threat with access to her on a daily like at work. There is not as much chance of developing a relationship as "friends" or other wise. As long as she respects our relationship and acts like a married woman and not a giggly single peace of eye candy, then we will be cool.

[michelangelo]

RP,

 

If you want your H to notice you and give you attention, then you are going about it the wrong way if you think that advertising your beauty to others makes him want youu more.

 

Yeah, that may have worked when you were single because you were showing him then that he'd better notice me and figure out how great I am or you'll be gone.

 

It is a different dynamic when you are married. Sure, before everyone crows in that it is still the same, you could be gone now without attentions. However, the big difference now is that you took vows with him.

 

So that single girl on the go, keeping her options going attitude is not the right one for now that you are married.

 

In the flip side, he's supposed to have given up his doggin' every woman he meets attitude too.

 

If your guy enjoys you, your mind, body, and soul; and you likewise towards him, then dressing provocatively introduces doubt, it doesn't introduce attention by your H.