brightskies Posted March 6, 2006 Share Posted March 6, 2006 I accidentally found this awesome post by Outcast in the break-up forum and thought it might be helpful to people who are still in the dating stage. It pays to be reminded of these things sometimes. "Love is a decision": It means that even on the days when you don't feel like it, you do the nice thing for your beloved. You bite back the snarky remark. You choose loving words and actions over 'letting it all hang out' because 'letting it all hang out' can mean 'dumping a load of garbage' on the person you claim to love. Nobody, no matter how much they 'love' a partner, is able to be selfless and kind and even-tempered all the time but because they love the partner, they work hard at being kind and loving even when they're not up to snuff. It's about even when your relationship is in a bit of a slump because you've both been busy, *not* having an affair with the hottie in the office. It's about choices to do and be loving. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted March 6, 2006 Share Posted March 6, 2006 Yes, it's really great advice. It's the "fake it 'till you make it" type of thing. You feel moody and want to bite everyone you see, but you smile and act sweet around your partner... then they return the sweetness and make YOU feel better. So you're not in a bad mood anymore.. Actually I've been moody lately for no obvious reason and been taking it all out on my poor husband. I'll definitely try this advice and let you know if it works. Link to post Share on other sites
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted March 6, 2006 Share Posted March 6, 2006 The one and only thing I will EVER agree with Outcast on. Bravo Outcast. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 6, 2006 Share Posted March 6, 2006 another one of OUTCAST's posts that are totally idealistic and not based in reality. Theory does me no good. I want advice and info I can utilize in the real world that I live in. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted March 6, 2006 Share Posted March 6, 2006 … they work hard at being kind and loving even when they're not up to snuff. another one of OUTCAST's posts that are totally idealistic and not based in reality. Theory does me no good. I want advice and info I can utilize in the real world that I live in. recommending that you show the ones you love your best side more often than your worst isn't good advice to live by? :confused: I guess not everyone is into drama or treating their partners like s*** because it's "real" ... Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 6, 2006 Share Posted March 6, 2006 recommending that you show the ones you love your best side more often than your worst isn't good advice to live by? :confused: I guess not everyone is into drama or treating their partners like s*** because it's "real" ... don't give me that crock of s*** QUANK....you are well aware that the people we love (family, spouse,) many times see our worst sides and best sides. its is our co-workers or boss or aquaintances or friends that usually just get to see our good sides. this is reality. Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted March 6, 2006 Share Posted March 6, 2006 don't give me that crock of s*** QUANK....you are well aware that the people we love (family, spouse,) many times see our worst sides and best sides. its is our co-workers or boss or aquaintances or friends that usually just get to see our good sides. this is reality. Your right with this one Alpha. Link to post Share on other sites
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted March 6, 2006 Share Posted March 6, 2006 Originally Posted by Outcast It means that even on the days when you don't feel like it, you do the nice thing for your beloved. You bite back the snarky remark. You choose loving words and actions over 'letting it all hang out' because 'letting it all hang out' can mean 'dumping a load of garbage' on the person you claim to love. I think that if the person on the receiving end of the dumping really loved you they would understand that everyone needs to vent, and if you can't let it all hang out with the one you love, I don't think that is a healthy open relationship. Sleeping with the office hottie is a different story altogether. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted March 6, 2006 Share Posted March 6, 2006 don't give me that crock of s*** QUANK....you are well aware that the people we love (family, spouse,) many times see our worst sides and best sides. its is our co-workers or boss or aquaintances or friends that usually just get to see our good sides. this is reality. I'm not denying that we usually turn the people we love into our whipping boys while those people who are stuck living with us 24/7 get to see our good side. I *am* saying that it's not unrealistic to strive to be a better person towards those we love, rather than only giving them our worst just because we can. Which leads up to love being a decision. We consciously choose how we act toward others, including the people we love ... Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted March 6, 2006 Share Posted March 6, 2006 I think this is good advice when you feel cranky or something... be sweet to the one who did nothing to make you feel bad. When you want to be alone, don't forget to kiss them and hug them before you enter your shell. When you want to blow fire, just shut up and count to ten - they might have had a bad day too, but are not trying to bite your head off because of that. This certainly doesn't mean that we should kiss them when they are mean to us or reward them when they make mistakes. But with us women, it's hard to tell when men made mistakes and when it's our moodiness. Same advice for men - when you feel like ignoring your wife/gf or complaining about what she did (not) do, make some effort to be sweet before you ruin her day. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted March 6, 2006 Share Posted March 6, 2006 I'll definitely try this advice and let you know if it works. So far so good for my relationship. No drama, no BS. Excellent advice. I feel like that i am on top of the world. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brightskies Posted March 7, 2006 Author Share Posted March 7, 2006 another one of OUTCAST's posts that are totally idealistic and not based in reality. Theory does me no good. I want advice and info I can utilize in the real world that I live in. How is it just pure theory? It's definitely not easy, but I've seen people do it. And doesn't it pay to reach higher? Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Being supportive doesn't always mean agreeing with what someone's doing. Some people embark on paths of self-destruction. If you really care about people, you try to stop them from hurting themselves - even when they hate you for it. Someone (lindya I think) posted a quote to that effect recently. Now be nice and don't get yourselves banned fighting over me. Link to post Share on other sites
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