whichwayisup Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 Ok, I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. BUT, We don't fight. When I say we don't fight...We have never raised our voices ONCE. We probably got into 1 disagreement and that was it. It was over in 5 minutes. Nothing I do bothers him. I lost his car keys...he didn't care. A little angry but nothign huge. I got into a little fender bender with him car, he was like "its ok all we need is a hood....200 bucks..no big deal" Can someone really be this laid back. I'm pretty laid back but I get bothered by things. And i kinda catch myself taking advatage of this. I can pretty much do whatever I want, burn down the kitchen, break the computer...and I get nothing. No raising of the voice, no throwing or hitting things. I hope the time will come where we do get into a fight ( I can't believe i want this). I know he loves me more than anything, so its not an issue of him not caring about me. I know he does very very much. Maybe we just communicate so well that we talk things out, rationalize and that's that. Is this a probelm or should I count my blessing? Count your blessings. The guy has a very even temper and is laid back. Later in life that will be a good thing! You two will balance eachother out. Don't worry about it until you need to. BUT, if you're just looking for reaction, to see what pisses him off, what buttons to push that isn't a good idea. I say just be happy with him and who he is. Link to post Share on other sites
Shana Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 My b/f and I have NEVER once had an argument either, and we both do some doozys of things.. we are laid back, we think our relationship is more important then the stupid stuff and that is why we do not fight... I would rather have this life then a life with screaming, hurtful, embarrasing etc, things said and done.. why don;t you just be happy? Link to post Share on other sites
rble618740 Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 I apologize in advance if this post is repetative of any other post. I read many of the posts on this thread (but I must admit I didn't read all of them). The original poster indicated that people say if you don't fight, you're not in a healthy relationship. I don't think this is the general feeling. If you never DISAGREE you are not in a healthy relationship. There is a huge distinction in my mind. If you disagree but don't fight - I think you're in a great relationship where conflict is resolved without raising voices, using harsh tones, or hurting each other with words. If you never disagree, then it is very likely that one of you is not revealing your true thoughts/opinions because, no matter how compatible two people are, they are not going to agree all of the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted March 13, 2006 Author Share Posted March 13, 2006 I apologize in advance if this post is repetative of any other post. I read many of the posts on this thread (but I must admit I didn't read all of them). The original poster indicated that people say if you don't fight, you're not in a healthy relationship. I don't think this is the general feeling. If you never DISAGREE you are not in a healthy relationship. There is a huge distinction in my mind. If you disagree but don't fight - I think you're in a great relationship where conflict is resolved without raising voices, using harsh tones, or hurting each other with words. If you never disagree, then it is very likely that one of you is not revealing your true thoughts/opinions because, no matter how compatible two people are, they are not going to agree all of the time. Well said. That's us. We disagree...and we voice our opinions but there is no raising of the vioce or harsh words exchanged. Link to post Share on other sites
brightskies Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 You're very lucky, the man's a keeper! If you disagree and manage to work out your differences in a civil manner, this is a GOOD thing. My last bf and I had high drama and screaming matches all the time, and believe me, it was neither fun nor good. Lots of fighting and verbal abuse can actually wear down a relationship. My current bf is much more level-headed and brings out the same in me and I'm very happy about this. You don't need to "fight" to have a healthy relationship -- as long as you work out your differences together. You and he have actually found a much healthier way of dealing with conflict. And if he values you more than material stuff, so much the better! Link to post Share on other sites
Jayelle Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Brightskies is right. You really should not worry about your boyfriend. He is simply laid back and doesn't like to get too mad at you. My exboyfriend and I bickered and fought over every last thing. I was yelled at and called names many times. At first I thought that this was normal and that all good relationships have struggles. I was kidding myself! My current boyfriend is more like yours, we don't fight. We discuss any problems we have. Sometimes I snap at him, but he never deserves it, and then I instantly feel bad. Be thankful your boyfriend is so sweet toward you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted March 18, 2006 Author Share Posted March 18, 2006 Ya know what I've noticed tho. he won't let me get mad at him. The other day..I was getting pissed that we had to be somewhere but he couldn't put down his video game. I was pissed waiting for him and of course, he was being all snuggly, "You can't get mad at me" "You looovvveee me" And I'm like..just let me be mad and he's like..no you can't ever be mad at me (not saying it in a controlling way) Saying playfully. And of course he made a dumb face...licked my earlobe and I wasn't mad anymore. but its like I just can't stay mad at him. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 Those are the little things he is showing you, it's not worth getting upset and mad about. I think he enjoys playing it up abit and pushing your buttons then acting silly. You two are gushy inlove and it's cute!!! Enjoy it! Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 Enjoy it! That is exactly what you need to do !! Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 If i were to poke him with a stick while we're sleeping, He would grab the closest object and do the same thing to me! closest *object*...hmmm, what would be handy? Sorry, couldn't resist. I can be a bit of a thread crasher at times. Carry on. Link to post Share on other sites
MusicWoman Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 maybe this will shed some insight? I have had this conversation with my fiance. He tells me that the reason he doesn't get angry is because he understands where I'm coming from. If I do something bitchy, he will understand what is making me angry, or moody, or upset, and therefor hes not mad at me. We have only had one tiny fight, that occured at 6 in the morning after 4 hours of sleep. I was upset over a family situation that had happened the day before and when he kept asking me what was wrong I was in one of those 'i just don't feel like talking about anything' moods. I just wanted to go back to sleep. he didn't UNDERSTAND why I was upset, probably because he was so tired he couldn't read me like normal (although he did know I was upset still from the night before) and said 'if you wanna be a bitch, be a bitch' and left the room. I wasn't even that upset at that point. See, in my head I'm thinking that theres been times where I would deserve being called a bitch...if I was being really moody (which I tend to be, I admit it). It seemed wierd to me that this is the time he calls me on it when I don't think I was being that bitchy at that point. Still, he says it comes back to understanding....and he just gets angry when he doesn't understand whats going on. Maybe thats the case with your man? Link to post Share on other sites
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted March 22, 2006 Author Share Posted March 22, 2006 Those are the little things he is showing you, it's not worth getting upset and mad about. I think he enjoys playing it up abit and pushing your buttons then acting silly. You two are gushy inlove and it's cute!!! Enjoy it! haha thanx WWIU! That's exactly what i'll do.... Music... I think he does understand...The other morning I kinda snapped at him.. But he didn't get mad b/c he knew that I was up working all night and I didn't get a lot of sleep..He just kissed me and we had morning sex (Which I LOVE). ANd that made my day so much better from then on! Link to post Share on other sites
sazzya1987 Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 Ok, I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. BUT, We don't fight. When I say we don't fight...We have never raised our voices ONCE. We probably got into 1 disagreement and that was it. It was over in 5 minutes. Nothing I do bothers him. I lost his car keys...he didn't care. A little angry but nothign huge. I got into a little fender bender with him car, he was like "its ok all we need is a hood....200 bucks..no big deal" Can someone really be this laid back. I'm pretty laid back but I get bothered by things. And i kinda catch myself taking advatage of this. I can pretty much do whatever I want, burn down the kitchen, break the computer...and I get nothing. No raising of the voice, no throwing or hitting things. I hope the time will come where we do get into a fight ( I can't believe i want this). I know he loves me more than anything, so its not an issue of him not caring about me. I know he does very very much. Maybe we just communicate so well that we talk things out, rationalize and that's that. Is this a probelm or should I count my blessing? All I can say is you are so lucky not to get into a fight, when my boyfriend and I get into a fight its just so brutal because he is really harsh and makes me cry, so your so lucky to have a laid back guy! Link to post Share on other sites
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted March 23, 2006 Author Share Posted March 23, 2006 All I can say is you are so lucky not to get into a fight, when my boyfriend and I get into a fight its just so brutal because he is really harsh and makes me cry, so your so lucky to have a laid back guy! See...That's what my old realtionship was like..He used to make me cry also when we faught...very viscious fights! But now I'm in a relationship that is the EXACT Opposite's, something I'm not used to. Well....I started counting my blessings! Link to post Share on other sites
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