Female Interest level

[Simons]

This is just my question to the forum:

 

How important is a Female interest level in a relationship?

 

Is it worthy to be in that relationship if the interest level is below the critical point of 50%?

 

Can No Contact be used to raise Interest level from a Female stand point?

 

Is it ok then to assume that once the interest level is below the critical point, we should walk a way??

 

Just been wondering, your insight is higly appreciated.

S

[riobikini]

Read the links within the link below.

 

Pay special attention to the thread called 'NoFoolin's Guide For The Long Walk.

 

It would be good for you to really grasp what No Contact really is all about before playing around with it as if it were a game.

 

I kindly offer the following thread(s):

 

-Rio

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=730849&postcount=3

[Simons]

Read the links within the link below.

 

Pay special attention to the thread called 'NoFoolin's Guide For The Long Walk.

 

It would be good for you to really grasp what No Contact really is all about before playing around with it as if it were a game.

 

I kindly offer the following thread(s):

 

-Rio

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=730849&postcount=3

 

I have been through all those links. This is a totally different thing and i think we duel too much on NC without actually considering other things such Interest Level in a relationship.

 

I think keeping interest level at a desired level is a prevention while No contact is like a cure and it comes a little bit too late.

[riobikini]

Then, maybe, this is the link you're looking for: 'Do Women Want To Be Chased, -and Why?'

 

Hopefully, there a few answers and info in there you can use.

 

 

Click the LS link below, and start from the beginning, if you need to:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t83653/

 

 

 

Yours,

 

-Rio

[blah1234]

I think female interest level is one of the most important things in a relationship and the lack thereof is probably the reason a lot of relationships end. I know that's how mine ended.

 

I think women desire excitement in their lives where as guys can be happy just relaxing with a movie every night of the week. The problem is that it is hard to keep the interest level high, especially if you are a poor college student with little money.

 

If a woman is bored with a relationship, her interest will soon lapse. And because a NEW relationship is exciting, if the woman finds a new guy who is interesting, funny, etc. She'll go for him.

[riobikini]

It's true, I believe, that males, generally, can go on in a relationship much longer than females and simply not know there are problems boiling up in the background.

 

Unless its a relationship disturbance that appears out of the blue like a sudden train-wreck, they do seem to be innocently happy with whatever day-to-day routine exists.

 

Meanwhile, females tend to keep tabs on things like 'feelings' and 'behaviors'.

 

If the feelings do not feel 'right' or if the behavior is 'off', she thinks, 'There must be a reason for this ", - and off we go.

 

First, it's a quick, scan-thru of what's been going on, lately, -and an 'Ah-ha' here and there, followed by a more thorough look-see into more in-depth stuff.

 

But she'll keep quiet about everything she's looking and thinking about for a few days.

 

When she's ready, -and even the timing is normally planned- she'll want to have a talk.

 

Men should never say two things in response to that request: they are 'No' and 'Why do we have to talk?' -because that will just tell her that you haven't been paying much attention to the relationship.

 

The proper response should be something along the lines of, " Sure, when?" (Smile) -and at the risk of raising lots of eyebrows regarding telling little white lies, -it would pay the male to fake, at least, a little interest in the talk- even if he finds he can't think of one single reason he should feel happy about the impending talk.

 

And, yes, it's still the real world of relationships I'm describing here, -not Disney Family.

 

Mostly, this is where the best opportunity for establishing a greater sense of closeness and -maybe actually developing a deeper understanding of each other- can happen.

 

But most males blow it by showing fear, apathy, or some other negative emotion about the impending talk.

 

So, with this small picture in mind, I believe this is where the seed of interest or the loss of it begins.

 

It's simple communication which shows interest -first, in the relationship, as a whole- which, in turn, keeps the individual interest level and focus up to par.

 

Important point to consider: when she feels as if you are truly interested and seem to be in 'sharing' mode, you'll naturally be striking a very romantic chord.

 

There's your open door of opportunity to keep the interest level high.

 

-Rio

[jerbear]

Riobikini: you always have insightful posts!

 

I was reading up on personality traits and found something about her; that she needs concrete decisions and constant reinforcement. Boundaries need to be pushed once in awhile. Plus the epiphany light came on within me. I now understand her better and how she works. Anyway...

 

I pushed her boundaries, she crossed a few, etc... slowly but surely.

 

The talk is a step forward. We're going to have out talk this Saturday over dinner at a mutual friend. Strange but ok... She has been calling and sending emails more often than me. Once called me by a pet name. I'm not taking this as a sign for reconcilation but more of a sign to communicate of what happened the last 2 months.

 

So I would have to add that once in awhile pushing ones boundaries, would keep the interests high. Keeps it exciting and makes one rethink.

[riobikini]

ty, Jerbear, for the nice things you say.

 

(Smile)

 

Re:

 

I would have to add that once in awhile pushing ones boundaries, would keep the interests high. Keeps it exciting and makes one rethink.

 

I have to agree with you on that.

 

My second husband pushed me to go beyond my own limits and find out what my capabilities, talents, and skills were.

 

This showed me he had keen interest in me and was always watching, -but not for failure, although I knew he would support me, catch me, and strengthen me through anything- it was, rather, that I knew that he was watching in high hopes of my success.

 

Having that knowledge and the security of his interest in me just made me want to return it.

 

And I did, in all the ways I knew.

 

But the point of just knowing someone is supportive and involved enough in your growth and success is exciting and sparks a lot of interest -surprisingly- in the romance department.

 

(Smile)

 

-Rio

[Simons]

You got to be a challenge to her to keep her interest level high..

[blah1234]

You got to be a challenge to her to keep her interest level high..

 

And how do you do that?

 

I guess I don't think I'm clear as to what you mean by challenging her.

[Yamaha]

If you have that something she's looking for she will hang on to you till the bitter end. It will take a mountain to change her interest level in you.

 

It is all about chemistry with a female. If she likes you but the chemistry isn't there you will be her friend. You just have to keep looking until you find that women that really digs you.

[jerbear]

If you have that something she's looking for she will hang on to you till the bitter end. It will take a mountain to change her interest level in you.

 

It is all about chemistry with a female. If she likes you but the chemistry isn't there you will be her friend. You just have to keep looking until you find that women that really digs you.

 

In regards to having something she is looking for, keep yourself less available. Makes her miss what she has. She may gain more appreciation and respect for you. If you need to take a test, take the time to study and take the test.

[Simons]

In regards to having something she is looking for, keep yourself less available. Makes her miss what she has. She may gain more appreciation and respect for you. If you need to take a test, take the time to study and take the test.

 

..and thats part of being a challenge and mysterious, making her wonder. this raises her interest level.

 

what can you do raise the interest level after it has gone so low to a point where she has asked you to give her space????

[Yamaha]

what can you do raise the interest level after it has gone so low to a point where she has asked you to give her space????

 

Walk away....

[jerbear]

..and thats part of being a challenge and mysterious, making her wonder. this raises her interest level.

 

what can you do raise the interest level after it has gone so low to a point where she has asked you to give her space????

 

Walk away....

 

I 2nd Yamaha's advice in addition to give up. If she wants space, give it to her; you can't force her to make a decision.

 

If you try to hard, it makes you look desperate, needy, clingy, etc...

[riobikini]

Guys, can I interject something?

 

Maybe it's just me, -I'm am old-fashioned girl, but like to think I have an open mind about new ideas.

 

At least, I try to keep current.

 

Here's what I want to say, -and how it works for me: I don't want him slobbering all over me and making a complete idiot of himself, -I would do everything I could to help him keep his confidence level and build on it, -but on the other hand, I do want some middle ground- 'middle ground' meaning, I want him to want me, too, -just not in a totally ridiculous way.

 

Showing interest, I guess, really depends on what that entails from the point of view of your 'object of interest', i.e. his/her own individual tastes, needs, and desires.

 

And those things change as we mature.

 

For instance, -teens seem to want the drama, -they feed off it- everything is important, crucial, and they have to have it or else they'll just die!

 

It takes alotta drama and energy to keep the interest sparked there.

 

Wait a few years, into young adulthood, and some of that may remain, -but there'll be a different spin on what it takes to spark interest level: someone who has a bit more flair to his style, who is intelligent, has a witty sense of humor, a certain confidence, and a pretty good idea of what to do between the sheets, -as well as out of them.

 

Give it a couple more years, and you find yourself looking for someone who has all, or most of, the above from the young adulthood years, -plus, a few extra traits that spark interest level.

 

Stuff like: how smart he is in his career, how he defines happiness, how he feels about family, how he handles problems, and how he strong he is on keeping the 'fun' alive in a relationship.

 

Some of those things don't sound like they have too much to offer in the way of sparking and keeping interest alive, -but, I think, it's just a matter of what level of maturity you happen to have grown to, in peering into the issue.

 

Just thoughts.

 

(Smile)

 

-Rio

[gfto]

what can you do raise the interest level after it has gone so low to a point where she has asked you to give her space????

 

You can't. When she tells you she needs space, her interest level has sunk below 50%, which means the relationship is OVER. Few men understand this. It is true that she might hang around a while longer and try to keep in touch with you, but it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that her interest level is below 50%, and you've struck out.

[Simons]

You can't. When she tells you she needs space, her interest level has sunk below 50%, which means the relationship is OVER. Few men understand this. It is true that she might hang around a while longer and try to keep in touch with you, but it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that her interest level is below 50%, and you've struck out.

 

so whats if you go NC at this point, would that kind of raise the interest level once more especially if she is not seing somebody??

[riobikini]

Cooling things off a bit to spark renewed interest and NC are not the same.

 

-Rio

[Simons]

Cooling things off a bit to spark renewed interest and NC are not the same.

 

-Rio

 

in your own test, do you think some one can spark your interest after it has faded??

[riobikini]

Unless I've begun something more worthwhile and fulfilling, I really think so, that is, -if the only problem between us was the dwindling interest and there had been some real chemistry at some point.

 

It would also depend on what -exactly- he was doing to renew the interest.

 

-Rio

[Simons]

My friend told me, in Africa, a woman interest level is constantly put in check by marrying more than one wife...to some extent, i think this might solve men's problems and should be universal and cross cultured.

[riobikini]

Here, in the USA, they just become big flirts, commitment-phobes, cheaters, and players.

 

And try to avoid courts, lawyers, and silly things like divorces.

 

-Rio

[gfto]

so whats if you go NC at this point, would that kind of raise the interest level once more especially if she is not seing somebody??

 

Once it gets to this point, NC will tweak her ego, but it won't get her interest level back over 50%. That's why you should go NC, and focus on finding a new woman whose interest level in you can be raised into the 90% range. It's much more fun than playing footsy with an ex who can never have that high interest level in you again. Female interest level less than 50% is like a dead battery. You can't recharge it. You get a new one.

[TheDiva]

My friend told me, in Africa, a woman interest level is constantly put in check by marrying more than one wife...to some extent, i think this might solve men's problems and should be universal and cross cultured.

 

 

 

Going by your postings......... You are having trouble getting and keeping one woman so how can you expect to deal with multiple women in a relationship?????