Making Friends.

[MikeViper]

Yep, that's right, I have no friends; I have good hygiene, do band, do sports, have decent looks, but I have no real friends. Sure, there are people from track who will ocassionally go, "What's up, Mike." if they see me in the hallway, but I have no REAL FRIENDS. Incase your wondering, what I mean by REAL FRIENDS is someone who shares interest with me, doesn't judge me, doesn't hurt my feelings, is willing to do things after school and on the weekends, that's what REAL FRIEND means to me. I admit, I am a little scared of approaching people, because I'm just afraid that if I go up to someone I don't know and try to become friends with them, they'll either reject me or laugh at me; add that to the fact that my voice isn't so great, I don't have a great reputation, get picked on a lot and my conversational skills aren't so good and yeah, can't really blame me for being scared. I also really insecure and care WAY too much about what others think of me and am always thinking about, "Is that person talking crap about me?" or "What will that person think, if I do this?", that's definitely something I need to work on improving. I'm not even looking to be popular or anything, I just want a person that I can do things with, after school, besides, I'm tired of sitting alone at lunch. So basically, I want to know how I can make friends and just be more social overall, should I really be afraid of the things that I'm afraid of? Does it really matter if they reject me? Should I really care about what people I haven't even met yet think? It would really help me out if someone helped me with this.

[Outcast]

You are right - you have got to stop caring about what others think because you'll go nuts. Some people like funny people and some people don't. Some people like guys who like sports and some people don't. If you try to mold yourself into someone that everybody likes, you'll be going in circles and have no personality of your own.

 

Forget what other people think. Opinions are just that. As someone on LS once said 'opinions are like buttholes - everyone has one and sometimes they stink' LOL. It's true - that people like you or not is about THEM, not about you. Everybody's entitled to their tastes and you may not be to everyone's taste. That's fine because you don't like everybody either.

 

Focus on improving your own self. Take care of your health. Find hobbies that interest you and do them. Learn new skills. And be interested in other people. Ask them questions. Don't go up to someone expecting to say something brilliant; rather ask questions about them and what they like to do, etc. That usually leads easily to a conversation.

 

There's an old movie called The Nutty Professor. I saw the first version with Jerry Lewis. In it there's a brilliant line: "you might as well like yourself because you're going to have to spend a lot of time with you". Try to become the kind of person you like and admire. If you admire people with principle, become one. If you admire people who go after their goals, become one. You'll be too busy pursuing your interests to think about other people and pretty soon you'll see they're not so bad and you will make some friends.

 

If your voice is bad, see if you can locate a voice coach. You can actually change how you speak.