I need some assistance with talking to girls

[Imzack]

well i need help. i guess i dont know even where to begin in talking to girls. i see girls i like around and do i just randomly walk up to them and ask them out or what do i do? im completely lost

 

thanks

[JohnM]

If you're a very confident person you could walk up to a girl you don't know and start talking

 

But if you're with the main section of guys then you should stick to those you know or can be introduced to. If you see a girl in say a group of friends of yours that you like. Give her a smile and catch her eye, if she smiles back try and keep the eye contact and you know she's probably interested in you. Walk over and introduce yourself. If you can pay her a compliment about something interesting about her such as bangles or her hair.

 

If you get into conversation with her then just try and keep your topics upbeat. If unsure on what you're gonna talk about then just switch positions and think of how you'd respond to that topic - if you think it may be be a bit boring or may not last long conversation wise try to think of another.

 

Now for a copy + paste of what i'm trying to talk about in convos

 

Keep the focus of the conversation about her. People love to talk about themselves, especially about their ambitions and dreams.

Always keep good eye contact, but never stare.

Never talk about guy stuff (cars, sports, sex, etc.) unless she brings it up.

Try to always ask open-ended questions.

Avoid topics about politics or relationships.

Always keep the conversation upbeat.

 

Hope this helps.

[qnmc]

Ditto on what JM said, with special emphasis on keeping the conversation upbeat and funny. Girls really love it when you make them laugh.

 

What is your age? It would help to know so that people can tailor their responses somewhat.

 

The other piece of advice I would give is to practice talking to anyone anywhere. You want to initially focus on people who are non-threatening (male and female), like the clerk in the checkout line at the grocery store, the person at Starbuck's who's making your coffee, etc. Get my drift here? Especially practice making great conversations with females you aren't interested in - focus on making them laugh. Once you get good at conversation with strangers who you aren't intimidated by it makes it a heck of a lot easier to strike up a conversation with that cute girl in the corner. By talking to anyone anywhere you'll probably make more friends as well. These friends may set you up with their friends, which is a ton easier than meeting someone out of the blue. And when you do strike up a conversation with someone out of the blue you'll have made so many friends you may have a friend in common, which almost immediately makes you less of a stranger to the girl.

 

Also, in the privacy of your own home, write out 10 to 20 ways you can get a conversation going and how the conversation might go. Literally write out a mini screenplay. This way you have some material. Usually the best route to go when starting a conversation is by bringing up something observational about where you are. For instance, if I'm at a bar that is way too crowded I might say something playfully sarcastic like, "wow, I think they need to get more people in here." I was once at a bar watching a band play and then walked over to the bar to grab a drink. It was taking forever. I noticed this really cute blonde standing next to me. We made eye contact and I said, "So how many songs do you think it will be before we get a drink?" Just remember to deliver these beginnings in a playfully sarcastic way.

 

Accept the fact, though, that you'll always have a few butterflies. When I get those butterflies I've actually switched my mode of thinking from "run away" to a cue that I need to go over and talk to that person.

[ddnnee]

here's my advice:

 

you let the girl question you and you give her a 1 word answer: yes/no. play hard to get. she mite like the game.

[qnmc]

"you let the girl question you and you give her a 1 word answer: yes/no. play hard to get. she mite like the game."

 

Couldn't disagree more. It's okay to play coy with her, in fact, I recommend it. However, when picking up a girl for the first time, we are the ones who should "own" the conversation since we are the ones initiating contact. Definitely get her to talk as much as possible about herself (they love to), but make sure you're directing it and keeping it going at first. Eventually, the conversation takes on a life of its own... if she likes you. Remember - it takes two to have a conversation. She'll keep you around to talk if she digs you. If the conversation sucks, no big deal, it's not your fault, use it as a learning experience for the next one and just move on. Definitely do not associate winning and losing with picking up girls... each approach is just another learning experience to make you better at presenting yourself.

 

One of the best ways to build confidence in approaching a girl is to get it in your head that you are just as much of a catch (if not more so) as they are. You're in a position to judge whether you're really interested as much as they are. For that matter, what if you knew that supposed "10" in the corner was an absolute psycho ahead of time - kind of makes her less intimidating, huh.

[Admiral Thrawn]

The other piece of advice I would give is to practice talking to anyone anywhere. You want to initially focus on people who are non-threatening (male and female), like the clerk in the checkout line at the grocery store, the person at Starbuck's who's making your coffee, etc. Get my drift here?

 

Cashiers often have attitude problems, and a 'next please' rush-off mentality. I would hardly categorise anyone as non-threatening, except of course, it is one's family or an established friend.

 

 

Especially practice making great conversations with females you aren't interested in - focus on making them laugh.

 

Suppose you are interested in everyone?

 

Once you get good at conversation with strangers who you aren't intimidated by it makes it a heck of a lot easier to strike up a conversation with that cute girl in the corner.

 

Even if you are not intimidated, suppose they dont understand what you are saying, or get creeped out anyway? The only thing worst than getting dissed by cute girl in the corner, is getting rejected by a bushpick. May as well just practise on girl's of interest one time, right?

 

 

By talking to anyone anywhere you'll probably make more friends as well.

 

Most people are in their own little world, and unless you really come out attractive and different like the guy they have always missed but are looking for, penetration of that world is unlikely.

 

 

Great advise, but I just wanted to be the DA and raise these points for comment.