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Finding Yourself


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First you take off your pants and then you do whatever feels natural. I'll leave the second part up to your imagination.

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I've been doing the same thing over the past several months.

 

Go to the self-improvement section at Barnes and Noble or some other bookstore, there are tons of books on this kind of thing. But write down the titles you like and go to your library (save some dough). Two titles that I liked are by that Dr. Phil guy (Self Matters and Life Strategies). You'll find he's a bit too direct sometimes, but I like the theme around his books - taking charge of yourself, knowing that you're the only one that can make things happen for you, and dropping any sort of "victim" mentality (not that you have one).

 

Good luck, this is a journey so worth taking! It will force you out of your comfort zone, which may feel strange and uncomfortable at times, but this the only way we grow as people. Through this process you will develop rock-solid self-confidence and self-esteem. When your approval comes from within you can tackle anything that life throws at you. I'm not saying that nothing will phase you, rather that you'll be able to deal with life's curve balls much more effectively.

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SmoochieFace
First you take off your pants and then you do whatever feels natural. I'll leave the second part up to your imagination.

 

:lmao: ...

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blind_otter

Self help books are utter pap in my humble opinion.

 

Try traveling alone. Being in a foreign environment with no suport structure helps you find out who you are, what you like, and what you need,

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Actually, Dr. Phil's stuff is pretty darn good. None of us owns all wisdom; it never hurts to refer to another's point of view - even if it's in print - :laugh: - when examining one's own viewpoints.

 

Dr. Phil isn't perfect; none of us is, but that hasn't stopped him from coming up with some real decent, smart advice for people. Maybe people who dislike him might try reading one of his books before tossing him on the trashpile entirely.

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In certain instances, yes BO, self-help books can be "pap." However, when you're trying to find yourself in a lot of instances you don't know where to start, what questions to ask yourself, etc.

 

Good luck, d, finding yourself is one of the best things you can do for yourself and will set you up for success in life, your relationships, professionally, etc.

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thegoodhubbie
How do i go about finding myself? I need to find myself bad

 

Go up two streets then make a right

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blind_otter
Actually, Dr. Phil's stuff is pretty darn good. None of us owns all wisdom; it never hurts to refer to another's point of view - even if it's in print - :laugh: - when examining one's own viewpoints.

 

Dr. Phil isn't perfect; none of us is, but that hasn't stopped him from coming up with some real decent, smart advice for people. Maybe people who dislike him might try reading one of his books before tossing him on the trashpile entirely.

 

Maybe some people managed to get about 2/3 of the way through one book before they threw it against their bedroom wall to be exiled behind the headboard.

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  • 1 month later...

Self help books can only be useful if you know why you are using them. I use the analogy that it's like having a puzzle laid out in front of you. You have everything you need... all the pieces and yourself... the person who needs to see the pattern to putting things right. A self-help book is much the same... it's almost like a pattern recogniser. Once you see where everything should fit... you don't need the book any more. It's the same with the puzzle... once the instructions show you the way things fit together... you don't need them after a while.

 

Finding yourself... is about you. Not a book... or a website. You have to have the tools and materials to start with. Then the book can point you in the direction of knowing what to do with them.

 

For me... Don Miguel Ruiz' books helped. They didn't change my life. I didn't have a wild eureka moment or an epiphany. But what they did do.. was give me back some perspective because my skewed brain was way out of whack. Thing is, you have to be in a place where you can see the common sense and reasoning in books like this and quite frankly, they have to be simplistic and easy to read and make sense of.

 

Don Miguel Ruiz

The Four Agreements

The Voice of Knowledge

The Mastery of Love (don't make the mistake of thinking this is a relationship book, it isn't)

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Curmudgeon

Stop looking and let you come to yourself.

 

Meditation is a place to start. Just let your mind wander free and see what thoughts you come up with. Weigh the pros and cons of your life so far and that might give you direction. It's easy to get lost when everything in life seems to be pressing on you but if you create a center of calm in the storm you'd be surprised at what can emerge.

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TheSwordfish

The only way to find yourself is to be yourself and live you're life and looking at yourself.

 

I always thought I was a greta, sweet, nice guy, lately I found out I can be an ass as well and it is refreshing ;)

 

OP please explain what you mean by finding yourself......

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