EyeAlone Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 I still have self-esteem problems lingering that stem way back from high school. I was so homely and taunted for that. I've been to therapy before, I saw a psychologist for almost 2 years, but I ended up feeling worse. Sometimes I feel inadequate for my boyfriend, very unworthy. I found out that he dated the prom queen back in high school. Ugh, I didn't even go to prom. All of his roommates are either talking to, dating, or sleeping with extremely pretty girls. I'm so boring and plain compared to them. I don't have breast implants like them, pretty faces, nice houses, expensive cars, etc. It makes me feel really bad. I'm such a nerd and focused with school that I don't have time to live an exciting lifestyle by going to parties and such. I'm not very popular and outgoing. I would dump myself if I had the chance. If I were him, I'd feel jealous of the other guys. I've had a few instances where I doubted him because I've been cheated on multiple times in the past. I'm surprised he tolerates me and all of my emotional baggage. Even though I should be honored, it makes me feel even worse. When I first started dating him, I didn't have any of these bad thoughts. But then I saw the girls that his roommates "associate" with and I just felt crushed. I don't know how to get these negative thoughts out of my head. Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 I know exactly how you feel. I do have breast implants, but I've put on some weight and I had to stop tanning, so I can no longer compete with all the girls my boyfriend used to date and the ones his friends date. They all date strippers and professional cheerleaders and models, and I am the one with the "nice personality". It's tough when you're a huge grotesque fatass at a size 6. It's unfair because all these girls have to do all day is work on how they look, because they are pretty enough to get guys to pay for everything for them. I have a good job and make good money, but all of them have family money so they don't even have to work. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 I would dump myself if I had the chance. Wait a minute....you'd dump yourself because you're a studious person who doesn't have implants and a big expensive house? Is that what you're saying? I've had a few instances where I doubted him because I've been cheated on multiple times in the past. I'm surprised he tolerates me and all of my emotional baggage. Even though I should be honored, it makes me feel even worse. When I first started dating him, I didn't have any of these bad thoughts. But then I saw the girls that his roommates "associate" with and I just felt crushed. I don't know how to get these negative thoughts out of my head. It sounds as if you're in crisis because things are going well for you relationship-wise. Almost as if the self saboteur inside you has woken up and said "What?? EyeAlone has a great boyfriend she's happy with? Can't have that..." then set about raising every insecurity you've ever had about yourself. Destroying a relationship that you should be making the most of. Is it easier to be unhappy than to scrunch up a negative life script and throw it away forever? It probably is. I think you should consider going back to counselling, because it sounds as if you need a bit of assistance in managing your thought processes so that they don't keep destroying your happiness in this manner. Link to post Share on other sites
Forever Searching Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 Aww. Don't be so hard on yourself. Maybe he likes you because you are not like those other girls. Maybe he likes the fact that you take care of yourself and don't need a man to support you. I'm sure you are just as beautiful as those other girls. Remember.... looks really are not everything. Be happy you found a guy that isn't superficial. Link to post Share on other sites
noclobber Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 Sometimes I feel inadequate for my boyfriend, very unworthy. I'm surprised he tolerates me and all of my emotional baggage. Even though I should be honored, it makes me feel even worse. This is what will happen when you love someone when you don't love yourself first! Your relationship with your boyfriend is not the problem, your relationship with yourself is the problem! Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 Therapy. He probably cannot understand why you'd feel inadequate because of how he feels about you. THERAPY. Link to post Share on other sites
Tenorman Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 Watch the film Welcome to the Dollhouse where the victimised nerdy girl character quickly establishes herself in the viewer's eyes as the most interesting and attractive character of all. Maybe your boyfriend has eyes to see this in you. Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 You are probably much cuter than you say you are, too. Modesty is VERY attractive... Link to post Share on other sites
Tenorman Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 Yeah its a pity a lot of people don't get modesty implants Link to post Share on other sites
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