teethbrushes Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 So my ex and I tried the whole friends thing. It didn't work out for me not because I had feelings for him, but because once I talked to him, I realized he's just changed a lot and I'm not interested in being friends with the person he's become. He's just different. But I am wondering this. We were each other's first loves and first everythings. He dumped me, i don't really know why, I guess a lot of complicated reasons. However when he dumped me, he said he wasn't sure that he loved me the same way anymore. He dumped me and then begged for me back and then dumped me again. Less than three weeks later he was with another girl and stayed with her not a very long time (less than we were together), but wanted to remain friends with me because "remaining friends with his exes is very important." I said no for the time being and that needed time and he said he understood. Long story short, we ended up in the same place. He and his new girl seperated in less than three months and he has been without a girlfriend since. -I proposed being friends and never getting back together. He flipped out and stopped talking to me after having previously been very friendly. -I asked him why he was being so awkward and he just said he needed more time to be friends. He said he missed me, but didn't really say how. When I talked about getting back together, he seemed pretty opposed, but only cited the things i had said. -He brought me up in regular conversation telling all of our mutual friends how we used to date. -He told a mutual friend how incredibly difficult it was to be just friends with me. -He refused to be my friend on myspace FOREVER...until very recently. -I had an event that I invited everyone I knew to, and he was the very first to respond with "I'm not coming". -He always finds a way to talk to me, even though I usually try to avoid him and not talk to him. He usually says something really random and stupid. -He stares at me a lot. He always makes a point to wave and say hi to me. -But with that in mind I'm sure he'd never EVER write me a message on my myspace comments. And I doubt he'd ever even say Happy Birthday to me on my birthday...well maybe. but not on my myspace comments. -I noticed that his most recent ex just got a myspace and they were friends right away. And they wrote on each other's comment boxes with just a "Hey how's it going?" I know they're not getting back together for a variety of reasons. But it appears they still communicate with each other at some points. -So why in the world is this so difficult for him with me and not for her? Did I really mean that much less to him? Link to post Share on other sites
PlentyLV007 Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 For some reason's they can be friends w/ different ex's and not you. I know because my ex did that to me...same scenario, first love , 5 years, and his ex girlfriend of 4 years , cheated on him and he always talked to her w/ no problem. I don't get it! Do I talk to my ex. No....I just cut him off completely after I broke up w/him. It was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I was in pain for about a year. Then we had the same friends and well I distaneced myself from them too.... man I went through a lot. I didn't want to know anything about him because I knew he'd be ok. He's strong and very intelligent. I don't get why ex's have to be friends. I don't get the point! Either way...just let him b. They are ex's for a reason. Link to post Share on other sites
Author teethbrushes Posted March 9, 2006 Author Share Posted March 9, 2006 well, its not like i'm not "letting him be", in fact I don't want to be friends with him. I'm just saying, does this show that the relationship was not as important to him as others, even though I was his first? Link to post Share on other sites
PlentyLV007 Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 A lot of guys weather or not the relationship was important to tehm, don't really show it to their ex's because they don't want to lead their ex to think that their might be a possibility of getting back toghether. Or it might be because he is started to get feelings again and just needed to distance himself. I honestly don't know to tell you the truth I'm just throwing out possibilities. If you guys start talking again why don't you ask him. I honestly recommend not to though until you know that you won't have feelings for him and him for you. When I spoke to my ex once a year ago, he told me that someone brought to his attention and made a comment that made him think..... "why do you still talk to your ex who betrayed you, but not to the one who gave everything and loved you to the fullest?".... He didn't quite answer but he did say.....that he didn't talk to his ex anymore after that.... Hmmmm (thinking) Link to post Share on other sites
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