Re: Is it ME?

[Rainman]

Do you want some advice. Trust her... If she say's nothing happened guess what nothing happened. If you make something of this, the only thing will happen is that you will come of as a possesive boyfriend, and trust me that is not in your favour. If you want anything to happen and you are truly suspicious tell her that you want to double date. In other words you go out with your girlfriend and he goes out with his girlfriend. Personally I just think you just need to learn to trust her.

[witchbreed]

I agree with rainman. There is nothing worse then being mistrusted when you have done nothing wrong.

 

Then there is the way how one tells. If you accuse her, telling her that she is out of order and so on, she will only feel defensive. You might on the other hand, gently tell her, that you feel scared and that you dont really know how to handle this situation. If you tell her that you feel jealous, but that you do trust her and believe her - she will not need to defend herself and you two might find a way, for you not to feel threatened by her having a male friend.

 

Wish you all the best.

[Daisy]

You know, I agree with the part about trusting your girlfriend when she says there is nothing going on. But I also think she's spreading you a little too thin. Staying out after midnight at some other guy's house, while you are at home worrying about her is VERY selfish of her. She's not respecting you as a boyfriend.

 

Instead of blowing up at her or being confrontational, I think that maybe you should sit down with her and tell her how you feel about her staying out so late with some guy you don't even know. Reassure her that you trust her. Just that you can't trust this guy yet because you don't know him. If she has any respect for you whatsoever, she'll listen to what you have to say and take that into consideration next time she wants to go out with this guy. Maybe she'll even invite you along next time, that way you can meet the guy and then she can show you that there's nothing go on.

 

Be aware though. If she flips out at the mention of you wanting to meet the guy, she might be hiding something. Such as feelings for this new guy. In that case, get a new girlfriend that knows how to respect you.

[arthropod]

personally, i'm not sure how much of a "trust" issue is, rather than simply acting inappropriately in a relationship -- discourteous!! think about this . . . how would SHE feel if she were in YOUR shoes?? how would SHE tolerate this kind of behavior from YOU?!! this may very WELL be a harmless friendship, but if you don't like it, you don't have to take it!! if you bring this up to her in a calm way, telling her you don't understand, and that you're uncomfortable with it . . . then, what's the harm there?? this IS something you don't like, and it's making you uncomfortable . . . so, if she CARES about you, then she should be able to handle that. i'm telling you, try and get her to see this from YOUR point-of-view!! this kind of situation will not stop -- so, can you put up with it?? what's going to happen next time . . . oh, it's the NEXT day, and she just fell asleep at somebody's house . . . WHAT NEXT?!!

Hello everybody, Here's my delema. I'm in a relationship right now that I'm truly happy with. There's is not doubt in my mind that this person is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. She everything if not more every guy would want. Anyways, we've been together over three years and not once did we have a problem until now! Just recently I've noticed that she has been distant with me. I asked if anything was wrong and she said there wasn't. Cool! Then one day out of the blue she tells me she going out with this guy from work. I was a bit concerend but not worried. I called he later that night to say goodnight but she wasn't home. I called her cell phone and there she was at his house and this was after midnight. Now I'm totally freaked! She told me that I was way out of line and that nothing was going on. She even told me he has a girlfriend! Now I don't know who this guy is and what his intentions are but I just don't like it. Anyways I told her how I felt and she told me that if you love me you also have to trust me. Her twin sister also told me that there's nothing going on and I have nothing to worry about because she loves me too and wouldn't do anything to harm our relationship. I'm I wrong in my judgement? Please I need some advice because I really love this girl and don't want to do anything drastic.