catgirl1927 Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 Awesome post, rble61870. Link to post Share on other sites
KonRyuu Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 My wife and I went to a nude strip club with my sister and a few friends on our bachelor/bachelorette parties TOGETHER. My wife got her nipple licked, which really freaked her out and she almost died, lol. And when I was getting a lap dance from one of the girls, the girl was putting her boobs in my face, rubbing her puntang right by my face and was licking my croch area. My wife was pissed, but not at me, she was pissed at the girl, she was like, when I came in from smoking a cigarette and saw her all up on you like that, I wanted to kill her, but it was all just in fun and games, it wasn't like she doesn't believe that I love her or anything, we did get 2 free DVD's of porn out of it from the sex shop nextdoor though! You know, it is natural for men AND women to stare ot other men AND women, if that was the case, the minute you got with someone, it would almost be like you turned off your antennae that make you attracted to the other sex, which is impossible. My wife sit there together, she'll say, oh that guys cute and I'll say things like that girls hot and we do fine together, it's one of those things where you need a lot of trust in eachother I guess. I know she'd never cheat on me and she knows I'd never cheat on her. You should ALWAYS have that kind of trust with someone BEFORE you marry them, otherwise, you're in for a long haul. Link to post Share on other sites
Author carmaenforcer Posted March 11, 2006 Author Share Posted March 11, 2006 Wow, a lot has happened since I started this thread. The next day after having gone out to a strip club with my W, her BGF and her Boy Friend, we all went to another strip club this time a fully nude one. We are not freaks, it's just my W's BGF's 21st B-day this week and we celebrate our B-day all week. It has been my W's BGF's idea to go to these places. I had no idea why, but then after we had left the fully nude club the other night, we had not even made it back to the car before She (The BGF) shows her hidden agenda. She blurts out, now we get to go to a guy strip club next, it's only fare. Hmmm, not too manipulative. But it's cool. I jokingly told her no, fare would be if you did this for us, but remember this was your guy's idea to come to these places, not ours. She gave me a disappointed look like her plan went to isht, so I let her off the hook and told the her, no problem you can take my Wife to a guy strip club but I'm going to be there. My Wife knows that I have issue with another guy slapping her with his penis or her grabbing on them or anything like that. I'm not as cool as flavius, yet. Maybe if my Wife was cool with me getting a stripper crotch rubbed on me or me getting to grab on some strippers butt or boobs, but no. Yeah, there were issues to deal with after my first strip club outing with my Wife. I sat there trying not to make any sudden movements or any comments at all and when we got home my Wife tells me, I hope you know your not getting any. I didn't ask why. I just said, whatever... Link to post Share on other sites
Author carmaenforcer Posted March 11, 2006 Author Share Posted March 11, 2006 Awesome post, rble61870. Double ditto from me rble61870!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
flavius Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 We have a 99% opinion overlap. I loudly advocate that 99%, but only whisper about the other 1% (except on LoveShack where you can indulge in nasty hyperbole with impunity. Gratuitous syllabiation, too.) You do not sound in the least insecure to me. It occurs to me that when we were 30-ish instead of 40-ish, we would never have DREAMED of that sort of birthday treat. It seems that two things have changed: (a) we are older and not much in the "sexual marketplace" any more. "Sex" just isn't about people our age! What's a real threat at 30 is just a big joke at 40. (b) The stresses of the childbearing years are past, and we are in that fun "pay-day" of life. There's no stress-induced "distant-ness" to creep us out. You know, rble, there WILL be a time when that stripper-girl WILL be more objectively attractive than you, just like our muscle-bound, dreadlocked, guitar-playing house painter is clearly sexier than me. But Mrs. Flavius and I decided out loud on our wedding night (you can read about it if you're nasty enough at http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t83903 ) that seldom would a day pass when we didn't meet someone hotter than our chosen mate. Without question, someday that hotter guy/girl would be wanting to cut in. The only question then is SO WHAT? We made our decision way in advance, before we ever saw each others' pubes, that infidelity is not an option. Wisdom like what you wrote is what makes a marriage, not naked dancers. You go, Girl61870! Link to post Share on other sites
rble618740 Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Thanks so much for the compliments on my post. I think this thread was the most civil exchange of viewpoints on porn that I've seen on Loveshack. Congrats to everyone for their respect of other people's opinions! Link to post Share on other sites
thegoodhubbie Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Please allow me to brag about my wife. Out of curiosity, I broached the subject of the whole 40th Bday strip club thing to my wife, and she was totally against it. At first she misunderstood and thought I wanted to take her to see women strip! LOL But even when she realized I was talking about male strippers she said, "What do I need that for. YOU strip for me :love: :bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
Lennox Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Whether you're talking about alcohol, marijuana, sex or porn...it generally doesn't become a problem unless the person inbibing becomes an addict and displays addictive behaviors. I can drink and get drunk on occassion...and not even think about drinking again until the next social event occurs where drinking will be involved. I can smoke a joint once or twice a year at a party, and not think about it again until the next occassion arises. I've been to functions where there was drinking or smoking out but didn't get drunk or high just because I wasn't in the mood for it. There's no compulsion there. With porn and strippers on the other hand...I can't have that in my home or as an outing anymore. I did go to a couple of strip clubs with my husband and watched porn with him for a couple of years into our marriage. Like with the other stuff, it wasn't a problem until it became an addiction for him. He wouldn't go to strip clubs by himself, but he is clearly addicted to porn and medicates himself on it. It produces a chemical reaction in the brain that people can get addicted to. It interfered so much into our relationship that I had to give him an ultimatum that he either sees a sexual addiction therapist or I'm outta here. For the addict, it destroys any natural attraction to their wives, therefore, the wife feels unattractive in his eyes and sexually abandoned. She is not wrong in her belief that he finds her unattractive. However, to cover his tracks, he will gaslight her and try to make her believe she's insecure and doubt her own sanity. As the addiction gets worse, the addict replaces sexual activity with their spouse with compulsive porn/masturbation. The male addict experiences sexual dysfunction when he tries to engage in sex with the wife because she cannot produce enough excitement for him as porn can. The porn addict's taste in porn can gradually get worse and worse as he goes to harder core and eventually illegal porn. The last stage in addiction is going out and acting out the most perverse sexual fantasies in real life. In our case, it didn't get nearly that far. But you know what? I have enough self esteem to voice my opposition to having something in my home that is detrimental to my marriage and demand it's removal. I love my husband so much that I would give my life for him...but I also love him enough to recognize that he has a problem, and sometimes tough love is necessary in order to open up the addict's eyes and force them to get help. I don't even know if I'm ultimately going to stay in the marriage because I'll be damned if I'm going to live with an addict of any type that doesn't go into recovery. I had no idea that addiction to porn and stuff like strip clubs could be addictive before I experienced it myself. For the stripper here, you will find no stronger advocate for fair and safe working conditions for you than myself. I wish every strip club was unionized because your occupation can be dangerous and you need benefits. But let's call a spade a spade. The guys that come to you are for the most part married with children and they're spending money on you that should be spent at home taking care of their families. I don't blame you for taking the money, they are the idiots spending it. But it's not all fun and games, and a lot of the guys there are going to the strip club knowing their wives are opposed to it. You can't see her crying at home waiting for her husband to finally arrive and try to have sex with her because he got turned on by someone else. Most strippers aren't in the business because they like stripping for men, they are in it because they need the money. Unfortunately, they don't just need the money to pay the gas bill, they need it in order to feed their drug habits. That's where my negotiated benefits would come in...to make sure that hospitalization to treat drug addictions was covered in the health plan 100%. The employer wouldn't like that, because they depend on the drug addicts to strip for them. But, that's when you dress really conservatively and go on strike and picket outside the strip club. Hopefully you'll have a lot of Al Bundy's supporting your strike and demanding the employer give you what you need so you can get back on the stage. Link to post Share on other sites
Bastet Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 I have gone to strip clubs with my husband. We are both in our second marriage and have children relatively grown. I don't see anything wrong in it. When women feel threatened by men going to the strip clubs then they should stop and realize, men, all men, are very visual creatures. They like seeing and watching. It's what gets them all riled up. One hard rule in our house is, don't care where you get your appetite as long as you're only eating at home.... Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 One hard rule in our house is, don't care where you get your appetite as long as you're only eating at home.... I'm happy you're happy, but this would never work for me... Link to post Share on other sites
flavius Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 Drug testing for strippers, reported income (smoehow). They are subject to extortion and drug-trap pimping because of the shadowy off-books environment. Link to post Share on other sites
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