Mydish1 Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 im just curious but it's been boggling my mind the entire night. But i have an interesting theory here... women: lets say you and a guy are good friends, kinda close and talk/hangout pretty often. you've been friends for several months. However he tells you (or goes in for a kiss) that he wants to be more than just friends. However insecurities may kick in and think he's just after sex. and you reject his advance. But then, he says if he cant be more than friends with you (exclusive relationship) then he cant be friends at all. Question: women...are wary of his motives. But when seeing he wants it all or nothing, you will know he really means what he means. is that why the ultimatum works (sometimes)?....cuz it's some form of s*** test? (but then i also know ppl want what they cant have and dont realize they actually do want it when they know it's going to be gone) Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 Not a lady but here's my take... Ultimatums are much more effective if they aren't actually given verbally; it's the ultimatum of action that works best. Verbal ultimatums show you are frustrated, that you lack control of the dynamic. Women don't dig this. With verbal ultimatums, men end up talking too much and also falling into the trap of believing what they are told. So they'll end up hanging around when in reality the woman is trying to give hints that she wants you to bugger off. The result being, she gets annoyed as hell. And the man falls into a very confusing cycle of believing there's hope, staying around, making a move, failing, and waiting until he hears it straight from her mouth that she ain't interested...at which point she is way, way too annoyed with you to even give you the time of day. Non-verbals (better known as no contact) prove to her beyond the shadow of a doubt that you are not going to put up with her indecision; that you will demand nothing less than romance from her. It shows you are the kind of person that will at least take control of yourself even if you aren't able to control her just yet. It makes her think. You want a woman to think about your good qualities, which is what she will do whenever you're not around. Because she will compare them to the qualities she doesn't like in whoever it is she is seeing. Link to post Share on other sites
PlentyLV007 Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 U both must want the same thing in order to make it work.... Never settle, you are worth what you want, and nobody will change you...only you can change yourself and only cause you want to...not because you have to or your told to.... I've been put through this so many times.... hate it.... I'm going through that now....with one of my friends that I've know for about 8 months...he's asking me if I want to be FWB and I said no...and I told him what I want....he better understood me and now is really interested in me.... As long as you both understand each other and really communicate....that's what counts... Link to post Share on other sites
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