Mydish1 Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 At first i thought it was a good idea to get out of the friends zone and move on if nothing came out of it. But i just remembered this girl is going away during spring for 2-3 months (leaving the country)....and anything can happen, i mean anything... Her side and my side So... im thinking the best thing to do now is just remain friends, and if i cant handle it after she returns ill just give the ultimatum. however if i do it now, and she goes away it will give her plenty of time to miss me and maybe things may go my way when she returns... Who else thinks its a dumb move to do it now? Link to post Share on other sites
DutyPaid Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 What ultimatum? Link to post Share on other sites
InTheWeirdZone Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 Ok, don't consider what I say to be anywhere near to expert. Heres, what I think. Depending on how long you have left with her before she leaves. You may want to get a little closer to her. Let her, in her mind, think you may have feelings for her. Use some romantic gestures when you talk to her, like touching her arm, or hand. A nice early going away dinner (Not McDonalds) and gift might be usefull to. Just do it soon, and tell her that you wanted to get it out of the way so she is not bombarded at the last minute. Make sure you hide the gift until about halfway thru dinner. She will hopefully think you are considerate, and Hey, I bet she will love the gift. (Just make sure it is something she can take with her so you will be in her mind while she is gone.) I don't think that you have enough time to set an full relationship into swing before she leaves. If you are dead set on telling her, maybe try telling her that lately you have had different feelings for her, but that you want to wait until she gets back to act on them. That way you can see if they grow while she is gone or realize that she is just a freind. This will also give her time to realize how much she misses you. On the other hand it may give her time to realize how much she still just wants to be your freind. Has she shown any interest in you at all or is it all on your side? Hopefully you can sort thru my jumbled mess of a suggestion. Good Luck, I know what its like to be the freind that has feelings for another freind, but is not sure what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
InTheWeirdZone Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 Oh and by the way, DONT use the word ultimatum. It makes it sounds like she either has to like you will be leaving. This will only make things weird for her. Try the word option instead of ultimatum. That way you give the option to a girl thats going away. Ultimatum just sounds so....legal. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mydish1 Posted March 11, 2006 Author Share Posted March 11, 2006 Ok, don't consider what I say to be anywhere near to expert. Heres, what I think. Depending on how long you have left with her before she leaves. You may want to get a little closer to her. Let her, in her mind, think you may have feelings for her. Use some romantic gestures when you talk to her, like touching her arm, or hand. A nice early going away dinner (Not McDonalds) and gift might be usefull to. Just do it soon, and tell her that you wanted to get it out of the way so she is not bombarded at the last minute. Make sure you hide the gift until about halfway thru dinner. She will hopefully think you are considerate, and Hey, I bet she will love the gift. (Just make sure it is something she can take with her so you will be in her mind while she is gone.) I don't think that you have enough time to set an full relationship into swing before she leaves. If you are dead set on telling her, maybe try telling her that lately you have had different feelings for her, but that you want to wait until she gets back to act on them. That way you can see if they grow while she is gone or realize that she is just a freind. This will also give her time to realize how much she misses you. On the other hand it may give her time to realize how much she still just wants to be your freind. Has she shown any interest in you at all or is it all on your side? Hopefully you can sort thru my jumbled mess of a suggestion. Good Luck, I know what its like to be the freind that has feelings for another freind, but is not sure what to do. thanks. I did see her a couple days ago. And we had a really good time, and i think she knows i still have some feelings for her. And i feel she does too, she definitely has shown much interest in me. I think i've succeeded in letting her know. I spoke with her over the phone yesterday, she immediately picked up when i called. we had a good chat going.... Personally i suck at expressing my feelings. anyway i asked when she was leaving and how long she was going to be gone...and i had long pauses going..unsure how to say it or what consequences lay ahead. But she definitely did want to hear what i had to say. She asked "would you prefer to tell me now or another time? or after i get back?" I said i'd let her know another time....but she'll be gone for 4 months. Your gift idea sounds good but i dont knwo what it's going to accomplish... I figure im going to let her know by action or verbally im into her before she leaves....but i figure if there is a success...'us' will have to put on hold (cause of her long vacation). Sometimes i wonder what it's going to accomplish if we know we feel for each other already. who knows things may be different when she gets back or may be the same. or she'll be around sleeping with other guys...i dont know. or things may just be better off if we acknowledge keeping the friendship in the meantime, and if i still feel the same when she gets back i tell her. i figure by preserving the friendship in the meantime, we preserve what's between us. this feels like a hopeless situation already. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts