Marriage

[Corinna]

Hi,

 

 

 

I would like to receive some advice, I am going right now through a very weird situation. I am sure that there might be some women that would appreciate this situation.

 

 

 

I am from Germany and I came to the US as a student, after not even a week I met my b/f today husband. I went the first term to school, after 3 months we moved together, everything was quick but we felt very confident with each other, I don't even know how to describe it.

 

Anyways, after like 4 months I had a car crash - total loss.

 

I had to buy a new car. The next term was approaching, and I couldn't afford another $ 3000 as Intern. Studend. I went to a lawyer to see what other options I had left, and the easiest and only possible way was to get married to be able to stay legally here. At that point we were together for 6 month. So we got married, as he said cuz he loves me and he wanted me to stay.

 

We are married now for 6 months. Living together etc. Everything seems to be ok. The only thing that bothers me, like really bothers me is his job. He first worked as Security guard at a club, than he quit and started promoting. like getting people into clubs and selling tables and bottles. He get's paid ok. But it doesn't matter what time it is women are calling him. And there is his cellphone.

 

he kind of has a problem with his phone. After I had seen messages like "baby, am I going to see you tonite" or "so I will be kissing you all night long" he hide it from me, don't want me to touch it, cuz I might ask stupid questions. He says those are girls that just try to keep in touch with him to get into the clubs. I don't know what to think.

 

He tried to convince me that he didn't cheated on me, he loves me, he wants to be with me. But he don't wants committment!!!! How should I understand it? He got married to me and he wants no committment????

I just can't live with his "nightscene" life. having different schedules from each other etc. it's not easy.

 

Than I have to hear things like, I would have done that favor to anybody else too.

 

I don't believe in Marriage etc.

 

 

He is 31, and I think that is an age where you should know what you want in you life. He says, you have to do what you love to do in order to be happy in life.....he life in a kind of spiritual world. This whole story is really complicated, and there is so much more I can write but maybe someone could give me some advice on this.

 

 

 

As I said, everything is good. sexual, as partner. We love each other, but I feel that he is kind of hiding something. Maybe he just wants to keep something mysterious, so I worry and that's the way he like to play with my head. And keeps being interested for me.........I don't know

 

 

 

Honestly, I am really tired, I feel that he is sucking all my energy away. I want to be with him, but these whole circumstances are not easy. We have to stay together/being married for at least 3 years. I know this sound now as if I just look forward to get my papers done. actually I think if I would see it from this way, I would have no problems. As he says, I am giving you your freedem and peace.

 

That means the papers and he lets me "live" my life,he don't tell me what to do or ask where I am or what I do......he loves me "unconditional"

[whats wrong with me]

bump..bump! sorry ...I'm going around bumping up threads that got 0 replies

[MadDog]

I know it's a little late but I think the mistake here is that you two got married so that you could stay in the United States. It was way too soon, way too fast. It doesn't even seem like your husband wants a serious relationship at this point. A live-in girlfriend, sure but definately not married life. You need to reevaluate whether it's worth it to live like this just so you can get your "papers."

 

MD