Simons Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 Would you ever consider marrying an ex, if the break up was mutual and you guys remained friends and so many years have passed by, say 7 years, and you have never seen each other since the break up, but you have been in touch by phone and emails??? Any input? Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 Not without dating them again to see if things had changed, no. Link to post Share on other sites
Still_In_Love Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 Anything is possible. When people part ways mutually, it's easier to become friends and probably easier to rekindle a relationship. "Distance make the heart grow fonder!!" Link to post Share on other sites
skeptik224 Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 It would depend on which ex is it was and the reasons behind the break-up. I agree with Cali in that we'd have to start the dating process over. It would also depend on how much growth each of us had in the time between. I know people that have gone their seperate ways and gotten back together 6 years later. Link to post Share on other sites
coasting Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 Not without doingg the dating thing and getting to know one another all over again....People change over night sometimes, 7 years is a long time without seeing someone. If it is truely meant to be, you will rekindle that relationship and it will be all the better for the marriage in the long run. Link to post Share on other sites
gfto Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 No. Whatever it was about the dumpee that caused the dumper to end it is still there in the dumper's mind whether it was 7 months ago or 7 years ago. And, how exactly does a "mutual" break up work? I don't think there is such a thing. There has to be a dumper and a dumpee. Link to post Share on other sites
magda Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 Yes, my husband was once my ex, who I dumped -- heartlessly, he says.. We fixed our problems and got back together stronger than before. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 My brother married his second ex wife twice.. The first time they were married about 1.5 years.. the marriage was miserable and they divorced.. About another year or so they started dating agaiin and got married a second time about 6 months later.. They have 2 great kids ( 7 years old ) and have been married almost 9 years.. I will say that they are not extremely happy.. but who really is .. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonestar Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 My brother married his second ex wife twice.. The first time they were married about 1.5 years.. the marriage was miserable and they divorced.. About another year or so they started dating agaiin and got married a second time about 6 months later.. They have 2 great kids ( 7 years old ) and have been married almost 9 years.. I will say that they are not extremely happy.. but who really is .. This is why I fear marriage again. So many couples are not "really" happy. I want a fairytale, not the s*** I've dealth with in the first half of my life, but I guess I have to be realistic. Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 This is why I fear marriage again. So many couples are not "really" happy. I want a fairytale, not the s*** I've dealth with in the first half of my life, but I guess I have to be realistic. I agree. I fear marriage also for that same reason. I want the fairytale...which doesn't exist...so I'm screwed. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 This is why I fear marriage again. So many couples are not "really" happy. I want a fairytale, not the s*** I've dealth with in the first half of my life, but I guess I have to be realistic. I know what you are talking about.. We all want the fairytale.. My grandparents were married for 68 years before my Grandpa passed away.. Thru out their whole marriage they were very happy.. But they didn't have some of the obstacles that others had.. Money.. they lived a retired life most of their life due to a very large furniture factory he sold early in their marriage.. Maybe that is why .. Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 I know what you are talking about.. We all want the fairytale.. My grandparents were married for 68 years before my Grandpa passed away.. Thru out their whole marriage they were very happy.. But they didn't have some of the obstacles that others had.. Money.. they lived a retired life most of their life due to a very large furniture factory he sold early in their marriage.. Maybe that is why .. 68 years is wonderful, AC. I am betting that even if they had money problems, they would still be together. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 68 years is wonderful, AC. I am betting that even if they had money problems, they would still be together. I would like to think so.. I do know that they were each others absolute best friend and they did so much stuff together Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 I would like to think so.. I do know that they were each others absolute best friend and they did so much stuff together That's the fairytale I was wanting myself. Absolute best friend......They were very lucky. Link to post Share on other sites
ashley83 Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 That's what I want. That's what I thought I had with my ex. We were best friends more than anything. It's almost like I'd go through the pain of still loving him just to get the friendship back, but I know in the long run that's not healthy. I do hope that I'll meet someone that's my best friend who I marry. Link to post Share on other sites
Creative Thinking Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 NO! for God's sakes NO! Link to post Share on other sites
batesal Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Would you ever consider marrying an Ex?? Would you ever consider marrying an ex, if the break up was mutual and you guys remained friends and so many years have passed by, say 7 years, and you have never seen each other since the break up, but you have been in touch by phone and emails??? Any input? It would totally depend on the situation. If she decided that she was ready to settle down, I would have to start all the way over with her. It would be way to hard after 7 years to continue a relationship with someone. That someone who hurt you, took your heart and dragged it through the mud. She would have to prove to me that snice we had parted ways, why she thinks that it will work now. But I would try and if I felt that I needed to leave I would. NO QUESTIONS ASKED (IS THAT DEJA VU?) I wouldn't do it to be spiteful, I would do it becuase it is the right thing to do since it was me that was hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
Sunfisher Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 I'm currently dating my ex but I won't remarry him unless he gets over all his issues and our teenagers are grown and on their own. We're dating and things are great - we go out on Saturday nights - sneak in sex and then go back to our kids and our work week. Why remarry? I have to have my own space and my own life - being married and living together is suffocating to me. I love my privacy and my own home. Link to post Share on other sites
yawhatever Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 After a breakup is it a good idea to stay friends with your ex if you have feelings for them still and they dont ? Or just shut off communications and move on cuz that can hurt you in the long run? How do you make it possible to get another chance in the future? Link to post Share on other sites
Sunfisher Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Yaw - it's so hard to move on when you still have feelings for someone. I think wanting to be friends is just another way of saying "I still need to see you and talk to you - I can't let go yet". I mean, who is actually just friends after a relationship? No one wants to be "pals" when feelings are still there. I think it all depends on if two people truly want to let go and move on. My ex broke up with me saying he loved me and cared for me but needed someone who could make a committment. 8 months later he came back saying "we really don't need to get married - let's date and be together". He saw what was out there and realized he didn't really want to let go. If you still feel for your ex and she doesn't - you can give it time and see if she comes back with a change of heart or you can put closure to the matter and try like heck to move on. What do you really want to do - go back to her? Link to post Share on other sites
KittenMoon Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 I hope it's possible- I just broke up with a guy with whom it was just not working right now (after 6 years ), but is someone I think I would be able to spend my life with were both of us to go through some personal growth. But there's a very good chance this will never happen. I'm not dumb. If we did get back together, like everyone is saying, it would start with dating again. Square one, more or less. And therapy as well, if only to have a mediator to talk about all the space that time has put between us and address the reasons it didn't work in the first place. Everyone wants the fairy tale, but I think our society, by becoming so open and full of options and over sexualized, etc etc, has kinda killed the fairy tale. Anyways, the fairy tale characters are always one-dimensional, and real people are not. Maybe we need some new fairy tales! Link to post Share on other sites
kitten chick Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 I would date two of my ex's from early on in my life. One is married now and the other I have no idea what happened to him so this isn't realistic but hypothetically speaking...I wouldn't marry either one without dating them again, I have changed so much since the time we dated and I'm sure they have too. They were both great guys where the timing was just very wrong. I wouldn't re-date anyone that I dated in my 20s. Link to post Share on other sites
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