Happiness...

[masaki1085]

I am writing this because I could really use some advice.

 

I am a 23-year-old recent college graduate, unemployed (in terms of a career), single, and generally unhappy at the moment. I work a part-time job at a movie theater, but I don't get many hours there--usually about 10-12 a week. I also work part-time painting murals in rich people's houses, which is tiding me over until I can be certified to teach in my state (I was in college to be an art teacher). I have been having a really hard time finding a career job, although I understand that it is probably the wrong time of year to be searching for full-time teaching positions. Also, I have been having major doubts that education is really what I want to get into--I have been thinking more about graphic design. I am single, but I really don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Sometimes I am lonely, and its hard because just about all my friends are in good, solid relationships. On top of that, I don't really get out to meet people (or know where to start) because when I hang out with my friends, we tend to get hung up in usual routines (sit around and watch movies, hang out, etc.) because no one has an incentive to meet new people (everyone's in relationships and a perfect circle of friends)

 

Lately, too, it seems that my friends are extremely happy in the same areas that I am having problems with in my life.

 

For example, as I mentioned above, just about all of my friends except maybe one or two are in relationships, which is hard because usually all of my friends will rub it in my face, not intentionally. (I think of Dane Cook's story about everyone being at a party while you're out in the rain). One of my friends was bragging the other day about his choice of major at school is so great (which happens to be graphic design), and how he could get all of these girls if he was not taken already (I am having problems meeting people, especially girls). Another one of my friends just got all of these high paying job offers (I am having royal difficulty simply finding interviews), and brags about how he gets all of this play from his girlfriend (again, girls). These are good, lifelong friends of mine, too... I'm happy that things are going their way, but their timing is absolutely terrible.

 

On top of everything that does not seem to be going my way, it just seems like my surrounding company likes take a huge dump on me with all of the things that are going their way, which makes me really miserable.

 

I know everybody has different hardships and trials and ironies in their lives. All I know is that I am not happy, and I really don't even know where to start.... should I go back to school in order to study my interest? Should I try to find different people to hang out with? How do I start either of these things? How do I deal with my present friends and their successes when I am sad about the lack of my own?

 

I understand that some of the more obvious dilemmas will iron out... girls, employment and so on. I just need a starting point to deal with some of the other things. Any advice?

 

Thank you for reading.

[ddnnee]

ya know, im also in your spot, exactly. How do i take it? generally i just skip the friends cuz u have to focus on urself first. who CARES what good things they get? anyway, forget the girls too and just continue to get yourself going in a career. that's what im doing.

[Becoming]

Is money important to you? Being an art teacher with educational funding the way it is is not altogether stable. You may have to teach at 3 or more different schools on a rotating schedule.

 

Do you like working with kids, or would you prefer more of the glitz of graphic design?

 

There comes a point in our lives where we have to make a decision about what we want that may be different than where our old friends are.

 

How do you make new friends? Take some adult ed classes in something that interests you. Get into a support group. Plug into religious life, community service. Volunteer to do something you'd like to explore. And then take the initiative for your own life.

 

Best wishes!

[qnmc]

Sounds like you're in a bit of a funk. Not that you're clinically depressed, but the remedies employed to get out of depression may be what you're looking for. Is there a Barnes and Noble or some other bookstore nearby? Think about checking the self-improvement section, it'll give you some great ideas (it does for me anyway).

 

Here are some thoughts and what I've done when I've gotten in funks:

 

First thing to do: get out of your house as often as possible. I bet all this free time is making things appear worse than they really are. Start by going to Barnes and Noble

 

Second thing: find a job that's more social and gets you more hours. If there's a mall nearby, try getting a job at one of the retail stores. Working retail is extremely social and will expose you to different people who may share your current experiences. With all those extra hours working instead of ruminating on these things, odds are it'll put them in perspective and make them much smaller and more manageable.

 

Third thing: do you have any hobbies (golf, poker, model building, reading, etc.)? If not, use this free time to start developing some. This is a great opportunity to get into something new.

 

Fourth thing: set goals for yourself and meet them. For instance, do you work out? If not, set a goal to hit the gym or go running 3 times this week. Since you're in the job hunt, set a goal of getting 10 resumes out per day. By meeting goals it will give you a sense of accomplishment and build your self-esteem and self-confidence back up. Make sure these are goals that you can meet, though. But make sure these are goals that push you a little.

[longlegzs80]

about wanting to be a graphic designer, please visit forum.howdesign.com. It is a great place to look at others work, put up your own, ask for advice, get a listing of book recommendations etc. I went to school for graphic design and the market for a designer is very very competitive but it all depends on your work and what talent you have to bring to the table. If you need any listing of books that could possibly jump start your whole thing about being a designer, feel free to email me, I'd love to help.

 

As far as relationships go, I guess it really depends on where you stand. Are you currently out of a relationship that ended recently, haven't dated in years and feel it won't happen for another couple years? I really think you need to find yourself, pursue what you want to do whether it is design or teaching or teaching design, but do things you enjoy, and find yourself. Go out with friends, absorb everything around you from people, shapes and colors to finding new hobbies or other interests. Having a good friend is something I'd long for because it is something I never had. So, don't think so much about relationships because you will find someone. As far as a career goes, look into design, read about it, keep learning if that is what your passionate about. Maybe consider moving and starting a life somewhere else. It might not take away all the problems your dealing with now, but maybe it might bring something new to the table for you. Something more positive.

 

Geezz do I ramble, hope this helps. Take care and email me if you have any questions on design. Take care.

[masaki1085]

If you need any listing of books that could possibly jump start your whole thing about being a designer, feel free to email me, I'd love to help.

 

I would love a book-list on this topic. How can I e-mail you? I've always been pretty interested in graphic design, but haven't been able to jump start into the major very easily, because of where I went to school I would have had to begin all over again from a freshman year (as I'm sure you know, art/design schools don't make it easy). Ironically, as an art education major, we did not take many design classes--I think only two very basic ones. I have some money saved, so I think I'm going to start a savings account so I can take some courses in the subject.

 

As far as relationships go, I guess it really depends on where you stand. Are you currently out of a relationship that ended recently, haven't dated in years and feel it won't happen for another couple years?

 

My last major relationship lasted about three years--it ended about a year ago and I am pretty much over it. I also dated someone else for three months and we ended it because it was not working out. I really don't know how I feel about it right now... I'd love to meet someone and I'd love to date, but its not top priority at the moment. It just kinda sucks that most of my friends are pretty tied down--it gets rubbed in my face, inadvertently quite often, and I don't have many friends to relate to any more. It also sucks because we all get stuck in routines of sitting around doing activities that do not involve going out and socializing somehow because everyone is very comfortable where they are (they all have significant others and a good group of friends--why would they need to go out and meet anyone?). This means that its hard for me to get out and find situations where I can easily meet people--even harder now that college is over, too.

 

I have also thought about moving and relocating... starting anew. I value all my friends and family around here, but maybe I need to move on to indeed "find myself."

 

I want to thank everyone for their wisdom and advice. I really do appreciate it, and I plan on taking much of it to heart.

[amaysngrace]

on teaching, did you student teach at all during an intern? if not, you may want to volunteer your skills at a school nearby. if you are certified you could get paid aide salary. plus, it's a good way to get your foot in the door. good luck!

[Guest]

I was a fine art major and didn't take a single class in graphic design while I was at my college. After I graduated I decided I had to find a job in graphic design and went about creating a portfolio of design work pretty much by myself. I did that by looking at other design work, obtaining Adobe Photoshop and Illustrator programs (ask any graphic design friend you have how to get them), supplemented my personal graphic design projects by attending a class on graphic design in city college, and completed a modest portfolio of about 10 pieces. Then I went on Craigslist.org and searched for employers. One of them was impressed enough to give me a try and a year later I am still working there and just got a raise and a bonus. The point is, I had ZERO graphic design experience except for those six months of self-motivated learning and producing. You gotta start somewhere, though. Just keep pushing yourself to do something that will get you closer to your goals day by day.