jackie Posted September 11, 2001 Share Posted September 11, 2001 I met this guy and dated him for about 9 months, it ended because he has trust issues steming from past relationships. I started to hang out with him again and found that I have feelings still for him. something that came to me as a surprize, anyways, I do not let him know what I am feeling for I am scared that he will run in another direction,I know that I value him as a person. I am feeling funny about my feelings though, everytime I talk to him I get very happy and glow, really what I do is day dream. latly he is saying things like "I have never met anyone like you before, your so nice what happened why did we not stay together"? Then we talk about it. I tell him that I do not want anything right now in the terms or a relationship. it is not true though. ok here is my question, am i wrong for knowing that i want to be with him but holding off on the truth until he really sees me for who i am, what my values and morals are, what i want out of life, I believe that he looks at other girls as he does his ex,he believes that they will all hurt him just as she did,I know what this other lady did and I believe that he has every reason for the trust issues. thank you, Link to post Share on other sites
Lauren Posted September 11, 2001 Share Posted September 11, 2001 This is a really tough situation. Of course, no one can control anyone else's actions, ideas, thoughts or feelings. I have a similar situation with my bf - and right now we're experiencing some MAJOR problems because we got close and he pulled away. I'm not happy - however, I love him. I believe that you have to be who you are and do what you feel. How anyone else reacts to it is beyond your control! Sometimes in these situations you need to keep plugging away and keep focusing on what is really important - focus on the future so to speak. My bf was burned by an ex-wife and an ex-girlfriend. I sometimes feel like I'm fighting ghosts because I do not know what exactly is going on with him. The important thing is to stay patient and keep focused on yourself. Keep contact with your friends and family and keep your activities, it will help keep things in perspective. It will show him that you are strong and sure in yourself, and that will make a difference - even if he doesn't immediately show it or say it. It sounds like you two are both a little scared. Take your time and enjoy the steps that you are taking. Be honest and continue the communication. The trusting will come in time. And don't be afraid to take some risks. I honestly belive and have lived by two rules recently - the only risk is the one not taken. And.....what is not given is lost. Best of luck. I met this guy and dated him for about 9 months, it ended because he has trust issues steming from past relationships. I started to hang out with him again and found that I have feelings still for him. something that came to me as a surprize, anyways, I do not let him know what I am feeling for I am scared that he will run in another direction,I know that I value him as a person. I am feeling funny about my feelings though, everytime I talk to him I get very happy and glow, really what I do is day dream. latly he is saying things like "I have never met anyone like you before, your so nice what happened why did we not stay together"? Then we talk about it. I tell him that I do not want anything right now in the terms or a relationship. it is not true though. ok here is my question, am i wrong for knowing that i want to be with him but holding off on the truth until he really sees me for who i am, what my values and morals are, what i want out of life, I believe that he looks at other girls as he does his ex,he believes that they will all hurt him just as she did,I know what this other lady did and I believe that he has every reason for the trust issues. thank you, Link to post Share on other sites
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