lonely B Posted March 12, 2006 Share Posted March 12, 2006 I am currently in a marriage for 13 yrs, 9 month ago I started noticing little things my co-worker( married 18 yrs) was saying and doing around me.... after awile he called me over to his work area and explained he had these feelings that there was a spark between us and wanted to know if I was feeling any of the same things? At first I didn't want to admit to it but it became obvious that I was. and after several conversations he started calling me at my desk and then we started seeing each other for brief moments after work. after sevearl months we became intimate and my feelings begain to grow....He also stated is feelings were there but just not as deep as mine was... Ever day I can't wait to get to work to see if he left me a voice mail -This was our means of communicating and keeping it from our spouses. He would call with a good morning and I would do the same... this has went on for 9 months now.. this past week he is telling me that his feelings are to strong to go on and that it is interferring with his relationship with his kids.. he's not the same person anymore.... and that he needs to put some seperation between us to get is head straight. I'm feeling so empty because for 9 months he has filled a gap I have in my own marriage and now that empty spot is back again and I really don't know how to let him go. I have to work with him on a daily basis and communicate with him. I know Ihave no rights to want him because he is a MM but he has become what makes my days brighter ... Help some one please.... Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 Walk, actually run, away from your co-worker. Talk your spouse about what your think is wrong in your marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 19, 2006 Share Posted March 19, 2006 Ouch..you sound like my ex...she and I were together twice with the last marriage almost 10 years. In 2003 or 2004 I started to notice a change in attitude and demeanor, in our little town we were the envy because of what we appeared to be. She would always complain about him and their fights at work, excluded me from work parties and functions and our intimacy level went to hell.....fights, leaving the home for what turned out to be meetings, getting caught in lies culminating finally into me moving out and seeking treatment for depression.....At the time I didn't know who it was, but my gut told me for a long time something was wrong! I tried even harder to keep her and make her happy. I refused to hire a private investigator or follow her because she had me believing it was me who had the problem, but time always has a way of making the truth known!!!! Not to mention what happens to everyone's self esteem. So, long story short...be honest to your mates, I can personally tell you the hurt, betrayal and disfunction that follows is hell, especially with the children. If an open marriage works so be it, but its all about mutuality. One thing I believe is that when relationships are born of infidelity, that is what you have to look forward to later P.S. I found this site by doing a google search of her name.....and her fling or flings looks as tho ended the same way Link to post Share on other sites
only1life Posted March 27, 2006 Share Posted March 27, 2006 Have you tried taking the energies you are currently spending on your BF and using them on your spouse instead? Leave your spouse a few voice mails. Be overly intimate with your spouse. Look forward to going home and seeing him each night. If he doesn't respond in a good enough way for you in a while, tell him you need more. Tell him that if he doesn't do his part to fill the gap in your marriage, that you'll start looking elsewhere. Let him know you are serious. Be open, and honest. Counciling, therapy, divorce, whatever it takes. But don't mess up two marriages by pursueing this other married man. He's trying to make good in his marriage, let him give it a chance to survive. Link to post Share on other sites
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