Misunderstanding

[charlottemarie]

My divorce was final in September.

The property settlement has not yet occurred.

My ex told me "be prepared to spend LOTS of money because I am going to drag this out".

To date I have spent $3000......just to obtain a divorce......no settlement......just a divorce.

In my last conversation with my attorney I made the statement "I cannot continue to spend this money". This was in response to her informing me that if we go to trial I should expect her fees to double.

She told me "Well, I can't do this for free".

That pissed me off.

I was not asking her to do it for free. I was informing her that I do not want to drag things out if they could be resolved without going to court. I want an end to this nonsense. I am frustrated.

I did explain to her that I understood she needed to be paid for her services and that I most definitely was not asking to be treated as a charity case.

Her paralegal phoned me and asked me if after the submission of the proposal letter to my ex did I want them...my attorney.......to withdraw as counsel and to refund my retainer fee. I told her "I was condering it".

To date I have received 4 letters from their office making reference to her withdrawing as counsel by March the 20th.......as we "agreed".

I never "agreed" to this. I don't even know where that date came from.

They suggested it (withdrawing as counsel) and I told them I was considering it.

I have just drafted a letter to her explaining the above and replenishing my retainer fee......I forgot to mention that I was down to the last $200 of the second $1500 I have paid her and that is what she continues to remind me......IF YOU DON'T REPLENISH YOUR RETAINER......we will withdraw as counsel, etc. etc.

I guess I'm just completely frustated.

I don't want to deal with his nonsence any longer and now she is giving me a hard time. Isn't it enough that I'm going through this with him without her jumping on the bandwagon of making my life difficult?

I have considered consulting another attorney and allowing her to withdraw but really don't want to go through all this bs again.

I just want it to be over.

Any advice?

[suegail]

This may be not the best advice you could get, but I was wondering if you are expecting a sizable settlement? I'm wondering because I thought possibly you could take out a loan and pay that off once everything is figured out in court. Yes? No? I know you'd probably hate to have to do something like that, but attorney fees are expensive and there is possibly no way around it, though others here may know of legal help you can get for finances.

 

I wish you all the best...

[charlottemarie]

If necessary, I could borrow the money to pay an attorney and allow him to drag this out in court.

I just don't want to do that.

There is no reason in my mind that it is necessary.

Basically we have a house that should be sold or not.......dividing the equity 50/50. I have even comprised to agreeing a 60/40 split in his favor.

I just want to end the drama and the delay in finalizing all contact with this person.

I'm done.

Hopefully he will tire of this soon and move on.

Hopefully.

[dgiirl]

Like my lawyer advised me, you have to figure out your ex's magic number, then figure out how much it would cost you to take him to court, and keep that as your buffer zone. ie, if splitting things 50/50, you will get 20k, but it will cost you 10k in legal fees, and if your ex is really pigheaded, then you should accept 17k, 15k, 12k, cos if it went to court, and you won 20k, well, it still cost you 10k to get it, so you only gain 10k, so you're still winning by negoiating with your ex, even if it's not 50/50.

 

I dont know why you would sign divorce papers without having the settlement inside. Do you need the money right away? What if you just decided to wait a year?

[charlottemarie]

I've never used an attorney in a divorce situation in the past.

I foolishly trusted what I was told by the attorney because I felt she was the professional and I could and should trust her.

Maybe that wasn't the best move on my part.

I signed the divorce papers without the property settlement because I was told that it how it often happens. I wanted out of the marraige and so I did as instructed.

I am now being instructed informally by her (my attorney's) paralegal to allow my attorney to withdraw from the case prior to going to settlement and to represent myself at the trial. The paralegal told me today that by allowing the attorney to file a motion to withdraw as counsel.....if my ex continues to delay the settlement and to insist on taking it to trial.......I could contact his attorney with any questions I may have and he would be responsible for the attorney fees that could acculmulate. ??????????????

I contacted my ex by phone today.......big mistake.......ended up in a yelling/cussing episode.

Basically I feel like I submitted my best proposal for settlement to him and his attorney and he is going "are you kidding me?" I don't get it. Either we are living on seperate planets or there is no compromising being done in this settlement.

I just want it to be over. I don't want to get screwed and end up with nothing. I worked, I made as much........more than he did.....and I felt like we should sell the house and divide it 50/50. He disagrees and I have said okay.....fine then.......we'll divide 60/40....his favor and I will receive 50% of any contributions he made to profit sharing/IRA's, etc. etc.

That's the kicker........I think.

He doesn't want to give that up but he also doesn't want to divide equally 50/50.

So........does anyone know what is the world I should do?

If I let my attorney go.........$3000 later.........can and should I go to trial and represent myself?

I don't actually need the money but it is my money.....the equity in the house.....and I have 3 kids from a previous marraige that are being hurt by this delay......

any advice?

thanks