Sunfisher Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 I'm on my second reconciliation with my ex. First time I broke up (we were split for 4 months), second time he broke up (we were split for 8 months). He's never been able to fully let go and has always contacted me wanting to reconcile. I think I've allowed him to come back to me too easily. Here's the deal. We love each other but we're both strong personalities - he's also very arrogant and self absorbed - he never gives an inch and never admits he's wrong. He's always gotta be right. So that creates problems when we have arguments. It's his way or no way. So we break up until he cools off then he always comes back. This time he came back and I took him back - we professed our love for each other and he swears I'm the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with. BUT!!!! He won't tell his teenage son, his mother or father (or sisters) that he's back seeing me again. He says he feels it's too soon to tell them as we've only been back together 3 weeks. I think he's badmouthed me to them and is embarrassed to admit he's seeing me again because he's worried about what they will think. In the meantime I'm thinking he's ashamed of reconciling with me a second time and he doesn't want anyone to know and plans on keeping me hidden until what he says is the "right time" to tell them. Yet he says he loves me and wants to "reconnect" and this time make it work and one day get married. I'm like "either you're in this 100% or you're not - I'm not going to be tested until you feel it's ok to admit you're back in a relationship with me". We went to the beach today and I drove my car - his car was left at home. His dad dropped by his house and later called asking why his truck was at home but he wasn't. All he told his dad was "I went to the beach". He for some reason couldn't say he was with me. I told him he needed to go figure out if this is what he really wanted because I'm not going to be an embarrassment to him or a kept secret from his family. We've dated on and off for 3 years now. As he's professing his total love to me he also telling me he's not sure. We're both in our 40's and this is B.S. gameplaying and I feel like he's embarrassed to say he's back with me. Hurts my feelings. Am I right to feel this way? We were doing great until today - I thought this time we'd be honest with each other and do everything to make it work. But if he's too scared to admit to his family he's seeing me again - I think it's a huge red flag. I've since backed off and told him he needs to figure out what he wants - I'm not giving 100% to this until I see he's totally sure and in it himself 100%. Link to post Share on other sites
whats wrong with me Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 bumping your thread Link to post Share on other sites
meejessica Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 It’s so easy to just say what is right to do but practicing it is different. I believe you didn't mention that "you" had any kids. So assuming you don’t; I would say move on. There are too many guys out there that are not selfish and do not think they are always right. I have been with my husband now for almost 6 years and he still will look me right in the eyes and tell me I'm the one that causes all the problems. And I'm telling you if you are strong enough get out. Life is to short. If he loves you he wouldn't want to hide you. Heck even if he didn't love you that’s still soooo immature to hide somebody. Link to post Share on other sites
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