Guest Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 I have been suffering from a chronic illness for going on four years. I have become totally dependant, and it disgusts me. I have always been the one my friends come to for help, I have tried very hard to be a good wife and mommy. But I am so so tired. The effort of taking care of everyone's mental well being, and my disgust with my own health has depleted me. I just can't do it anymore. Because of my illness I depend on public assistance for my health insurance. Because of my inability to work I am what some would call an entitlement junky. I assure you its not my choice. I hate being dependant on everyone. I hate my dependance on you for support and healthcare. I have gone from being a professional kickboxer to having a body that is constantly at war with me. I can't have pillow or tickle fights with my children anymore, and my husband is afraid that sex will hurt me. I feel myself pulling away from everything, and I am drowning in dispair I can not understand. I can't do it anymore. I am so freaking tired. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Please see a counsellor ASAP. In circumstances such as yours, it's easy to become depressed. People in your situation, though, can and do live happy and fulfilling lives. I believe it's possible for you as well but you need a professional - and maybe a support group - to help you find your way. Please do this for your sake and for the sake of your family. Link to post Share on other sites
qnmc Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 I can't imagine what it must be like to live with chronic pain. My heart goes out to you, it really does. But please talk to a counselor as soon as you can. Trust me, there are so many reasons to keep going. Your children and husband are so much better off having you in their lives - believe this because it is true. You mean the world to them. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 In circumstances such as yours, it's easy to become depressed. this is only too true – depression is the body's way of responding to a chronic illness that's affected the body for a while. Getting into therapy (as in meds and one-on-one counselling) might could help you get the kind of handle you want on your life, even though you're not at the point you were once. as time goes by, there are better medications on the market to help alleviate depression, so help is there. in the meantime, you're in my prayers as you work through this period of funk and blues. hugs, quank Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 Pain endures Its ebb and flow a steady tide Making the world seem As an enemy There is a light Yet it shines distantly Far away And unreachable But look beside you And you will find a captive star Burning brightly Ever steady A light to make the heart dance A love to make the soul laugh A warmth to chase away the bitterest of colds A constant in a chaotic world You have my heart, my love The captive star is yours To hold and warm yourself by To bathe in its light Evermore ~~~~~~~~~~~ Thank you all for your thoughts and suggestions. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts