Jonesy Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 .. I've just about given up. Last night at the bar this really attractive girl starts dancing with me. Im 18 and still pretty shy around girls, but as the night goes on I eventaully work up the courage to go speak to her a few times, only for her to basically shut me down each time. I said to her the second time 'sorry im sort of shy' and her reply was 'yeah well you sure do act like it', and she walked off to keep chatting with her friend. Was she upset that I hadn't talked to her earlier or made a move, or was she just toying with me all along? I really have no idea Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Based on that I hope you have learned that bars are not exactly the best place to *chat up* women. She sounds quite immature and far far away from being any sort of relationship material. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Bubby, for a shy guy the bar is the last place to try to pick up. IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
7on Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 She just wanted to have fun. It's not women in general. Dancing doesn't mean "ooo OOO SEX ME NOWERZ." Even if she thought you were cute, mentioning you were shy did kinda blow it. Women want powerful men that will completely take their breath away. It could also be a lot of things like body language, bad breathe, etc. I wouldn't worry about it. Meeting people at bars isn't always the bestest of ideas anyhow. I prefer to live my life and just go with it. You'll most likely meet someone of similar tastes if you go to events/join clubs that YOU'RE interestred in. With the girl I've been dating for a month I initiated conversation by noticing we had the same cell phone. As for the toying part. She could have been, but my guess was that she was just doing something for her own benefit (surprising as it may seem women actually like dancing gasp). She probably didn't consider anything with you first. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 With the girl I've been dating for a month I initiated conversation by noticing we had the same cell phone.. have you banged her yet 7ON? Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 the worst place for a shy guy is a club to pickup bar/ pub is a good starting point. But since your 18, id say the best place to still meet girls is on college campus. However if you are shy and the next time u go to a bar, you might want to consider bringing a friend (wingman). it will ease the tension and you can help each other out. women dont like weak men, next time avoiding saying the "im kinda shy" part. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 Here's the deal, you can actually be somewhat shy, but you can't come out and admit it. You see, women already know a man's strengths and weaknesses pretty early on, and they can be somewhat forgiving of those weaknesses. But time and time again, it is the spoken word which causes men to crash and burn. Women hate it - I mean HATE it - when a guy starts opening up and verbalizing insecurities. I mean, really, women don't like it when guys verbalize much about anything, but they really hate it when guys verbalize about things which are negative, especially if they reflect negatively on the individual. The chick you ran into is a gamer. She's young and attractive, and she knows it...and she's in a place where she is constantly being reminded of this fact of nature. Meanwhile, here's you coming onto her, reinforcing what she already knows, and also reinforcing her that you don't possess the confidence that she is looking for. Bars are a very primitive, darwinian place to pick up ladies. It's survival of the fittest, and your game has to be good. I tend to avoid dance clubs mainly because I am not the aggressive type. Link to post Share on other sites
penkitten Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 its a numbers game. you can say the same thing to ten chicks and each of them will react a little differently. sooner or later, one chick will reply "thats ok, i'm shy too." ever watch king of the hill? theres an episode where boomhower teaches bobby how to pick up chicks at the shoe store. he gets turned down at least 20 times before he scores and has one interested in him. he keeps telling bobby "aint no shame in the game." try to overcome your shyness. go to smaller places and talk to every single looking chick there until some start talking to you. after that , start going to medium places and then ever bigger places. and remember , its all in the numbers just like the lottery. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 its a numbers game. you can say the same thing to ten chicks and each of them will react a little differently. sooner or later, one chick will reply "thats ok, i'm shy too." ever watch king of the hill? theres an episode where boomhower teaches bobby how to pick up chicks at the shoe store. he gets turned down at least 20 times before he scores and has one interested in him. he keeps telling bobby "aint no shame in the game." try to overcome your shyness. go to smaller places and talk to every single looking chick there until some start talking to you. after that , start going to medium places and then ever bigger places. and remember , its all in the numbers just like the lottery. penkitten, this only works under a certain situation. And that situation is if you dont take rejection personally. If each time you get shotdown and take a beating to your ego....then cold approaches (or pickup) is not for him. if he wants teh safer route, i'd advise to meet girls through friends/acquantances. Link to post Share on other sites
penkitten Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 penkitten, this only works under a certain situation. And that situation is if you dont take rejection personally. If each time you get shotdown and take a beating to your ego....then cold approaches (or pickup) is not for him. if he wants teh safer route, i'd advise to meet girls through friends/acquantances. sooner or later the safe route runs out of friends and friends of a friend of a friend right? none of us should take rejections personally when its someone who doesnt know us well, because who knows what is going on with that person in their own little world. example: you talk to ten chicks 1. says she is waiting for someone (she might be, who knows) 2. says she is having a girls night our ( maybe they really are) 3. says she has a man (just because you dont see him doesnt mean he doesnt exist) 4. says she is sick ( drinking too much , is she wobbling around?) 5. is a snob (well snobs dont count) 6 is nice but doesnt give a phone number (scared of giving it to stangers? shy?) 7 once she starts talking, well you just want to run the other way ( uhh run) 8 flirts back, but once you buy her a drink , she disappears (is playing games with all men tonite) 9 just doesnt click with you (how can that be your fault? not all people click) 10 smiles and has a great time with you the rest of the nite (yay!) see why things cant be taken personal? Link to post Share on other sites
ddnnee Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 golden knowledge i have learned from you guys! > you have gained 3 exp in Womenology! > you have LEVELED UP to Womenology 2!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 try to overcome your shyness. go to smaller places and talk to every single looking chick there until some start talking to you. after that , start going to medium places and then ever bigger places. and remember , its all in the numbers just like the lottery. Just don't put your life savings into it! :laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
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