What does she want?

[MBTS]

Ok, where should I start!?

 

I october I and my ex met again for the first time in a while, about 6 months or so.

 

We had run into each other a couple of times, but never talked or such. Our breakup where strange to say the least, she went through a hard time at work and in her personal life and I had not the possibility to be there as I should have been to make a story short. And from there it went bad...

 

So in october I met here at a party at my work, nobody really knew why she showed up! She haf also worked there before and her move from there had not gone smothly with the boss. Ok one of here friends also works there but I feel if I where in her situation I wouldn't have gone to the party.

 

At first we didn't talk at all but as the evening went we started to act as usual, tease each other and so on. And suddenly when we stood at the bar she gave me a long and heartfelt hugg and said - I like you to! Just out of the blue! Nothing more happened, but considering that I almost had been persona non grata before the evening I was surprised. Ok I have all the time suspected that there were something wrong with the split... And short messaged hera on some occasion, that I was thinking about here and so...

 

About a month later we met again at a mutual friends party. The same scenario to start, we kept to ourself. But after a while when she have had a couple of drinks, she bacame more and more interested in me and it showed! She begun to massage my neck and let her hair out, she knows I like it that way.The party went on and she had to sit on my lap because of nowhere else to sit, I slid my arm around here waist and she didn't mind and she didn't move when there were a seat avilable to here.

 

When I left I called here to come down, and I asked here what she was doing!? She couldn't really answer and I held here tight and talked to here for a while and we kissed a little...

 

The next day she messaged me about something that she where tired from the night before... After that we started to message forward and back. The next day we met again, and ended up i eachothers arms and she couldn't explain why she left me or why this happened again... And at the same time told me that she haf met a new guy, abroad when she where away last summer... I kind of knew that and I also knew that she where on her way to him again. And she told me all of this to! And said that I had givven her a heads up and she would tell him about what had happened and that it was over with him... So far so god... I can honestly say that she really loves me, it shows in the way she acts when we are togheter and how she behaves and in her mood. She also told a mutual friend that she didn't wanted to leave again...

 

So she went away and I didn't hear from here in a while so I sent a message to here and got the news that she where staying with "here boyfriend" when waiting to se here relatives! So I stoped message here and felt like s***, again...

 

So another month went and I got a message, I'm home again, mixed feelings. Nice christmas present I got anyway Hope you are fine? Looking for a job untill the next travel....

 

Before she went away I told here two things in particular: I don't wanna be your friend, the I don't wanna se or hear from you! And don't screw it upp this time because I will not give you up easily if you do!

 

So why did she bother to contact me, she knows that I don't wanna be here friend and I don't think she believes herself that I have changed at that point! She didn't tell me about her boyfriend untill I asked, no message so why bother now! And why thank for a christmas gift that no one can missundertand the meaning from!

 

So I met up with her to see how she was going to be. I made here turn around when she where on her way home from work to meet me. And all I got was someone who couldn't relax and tried to keep her distance. And told me amongst manty things that all we have is attraction and personal chemistry... Apperently alot, since she coldn't keep awy from me when we meet before she went away!

 

But what should I do with her? Any suggestions? If you need more details please ask! I do anything to get her back... What a sucker I am...

[whats wrong with me]

bump bump!

[CaliGuy]

She just sounds very confused. Keep your distance. She is keeping you on a string here while she is out grazing other pastures. If you want to be her marionette, keep talking to her.

 

Stick to what you told her and don't contact her. Until she grows up she'll continue to play games with you, keeping you on a string, until she finds someone she likes better.

 

My advice is to run away. And trust me, from someone who's been in a similar situation (our situations are very, very alike), she will keep you around only until she feels someone better has come along.

[dario]

Who knows??? Sometimes you just have to cut the ties early on and never look back. You know, there are better times ahead. Leave it be.

[oss91]

I believe that I have been in a pretty similar situation before. I decided to go to Hong Kong for 4 months and left my girlfriend of 5 years back in America. Before I left, we had a talk and decided to date others, but still be in contact with one another. I explored my options, but still liked talking her through email and the occassional phone conversation. I came back to the states for Christmas, and decided while back, to go back to HK for an additional 5 months. I thought it was much easier to leave the second time around, while she thought it was much harder. Again, I explored my options while keeping her around. Honestly though, I wasn't keeping her on the "back burner". I genuinely enjoyed talking with her and missed her every single day that I was in HK, but it's just something I needed to do. I needed to go out on my own and explore what life had to offer ME. i had to find out what else was out there, on my own, and decide what was right for me. After a while I realized that I truly enjoyed her companionship the most and wanted to be with her.

 

My advice dude, just let her go do her own thing for a while. Don't take it personally or get depressed because she wants to fly solo right now. Everyone wants to be on their own at least once in their life. She was probably very sincere when saying that she didn't want to go again, but at the same time, she also probably feels that she needs to do this, FOR HER. (That was my exact feelings when I left the second time). Just understand the situation, and be patient. Being patient doesn't mean moping, pining for her and generally being unable to operate on a normal basis. Being patient just means that you should understand the situation, be mature, and realize that it's not about you. And my advice, when she contacts you, and she will, be happy to talk with her again and show her that you understand what's going on. People go away, but only so far as you drive them away.