Still want her

[Guest]

I will try and make this short. I was dating someone for 6 months and then it suddenly ended in a confusing, bad way. I have not really spoken to her since. However, I run in to her occasionally and see her in passing. I fell hard for her and still feel the same way about her.

 

It was her Bday this week, and knowing how difficult her life has been, I sent a card letting her know that I wish her the best birthday and that I hope all is well for her.

 

A week or so prior to her birthday, we ran in to eachother. A few days later I receive an email, a very nice email with her asking if everything was all right in my life. We have emailed a few times about what is going on in life. After she received the card I received another very sweet email that ended in "don't be a stranger". Question is, what does she mean by that? I would never disrespect her wish of wanting to be alone or cross the line with her. So I sit a little confused. Any help or advice is appreciated.

 

When we were together, there was a connection that I have never felt before. We are both divorced. I am still deeply connected to her.

[Sunfisher]

Don't be a stranger means just that - pick up the phone and call her up and ask her out to dinner. Analyzing what's being said back and forth just prolongs the agony. Take a risk - ask her to dinner or out for a Starbucks. If she turns you down then that's your answer and you won't be wasting all this time sitting around wondering what she's thinking or trying to read into what she's saying.

 

What's the worst that can happen - she can simply say yes or no to dinner or coffee. Don't keel over if she doesn't want to go out with you - just swallow your pride and pat yourself on the back for trying! If she's thrilled to see you again then that's great - if she rejects your invitation you own't die from it. Take a chance!

[yawhatever]

Yea good idea, make the move and see how she responds, if shes like "well... I dont know blah blah blah" , stop right there, she obviously is not being straight with you, so just say something like "You know what I dont have time right now, just give me a call when you do want to do something"

 

The other thing she can say is Yes, and in that case its what you were hoping for.

[CaliGuy]

Quick note. If you ask her to dinner, do it passively so it doesn't seem like a date. For instance:

 

"Hey, I'm going to dinner at such and such restaurant tonight. Thought you might like to join me" instead of saying "Can I take you to dinner?"

 

That way it doesn't seem like a date and there's no pressure.

[Guest]

Don't be a stranger means just that - pick up the phone and call her up and ask her out to dinner. Analyzing what's being said back and forth just prolongs the agony. Take a risk - ask her to dinner or out for a Starbucks. If she turns you down then that's your answer and you won't be wasting all this time sitting around wondering what she's thinking or trying to read into what she's saying.

 

What's the worst that can happen - she can simply say yes or no to dinner or coffee. Don't keel over if she doesn't want to go out with you - just swallow your pride and pat yourself on the back for trying! If she's thrilled to see you again then that's great - if she rejects your invitation you own't die from it. Take a chance!

 

I have taken the advice in this way. First , I did email her and asked if I may at sometime take her out for her birthday with her knowing that I only want to do it for her birthday and expect nothing else beyond that. She replied that she needs to think about that for a bit. Second, I did ask to call, and I asked for a reason, out of respect for her, and she said Yes I could call.