I never want to talk to you again, we're DONE

[supersweet85]

Well a couple of days ago my ex and i made an agreement to be friends. When i was at his house, he told me that he made a new frind with a girl from the bank. I got upset but didn't tell him, (he was drink beer at the time). He told me that she had a nice butt and so on. He also told me not go get any information about her or to even see her. Well my buddy had to go to that same bank to cash his check, and i was with him. So i walked into the bank (kinda drunk) and i asked every teller if they where seeing him, and they all said no, and they asked why so i told them a few things.. As i was driving home my ex called me and got really angry at me, as did i towards him. Well to make along storie short he told me he never wanted to talk to me or see me again. It really hurts cause I think he would tell me these things knowing that i would follow through with them ie going to the bank and stuff. What should i do? do you think that maybe he will get intouch with me again?

[tikigods]

First let me say you guys are broken up, if he wants to date every girl in a 50 mile radius he can do so, and its not up to you to go trying to find everyone he is going to

 

I would suggest forgetting about the friendship with the ex right now (if forever) cause you aren't ready to deal with the fact that you aren't his one and only (and its not fair for you to keep putting yourself in a situation where you have to hear about his new intrests)

 

In short I am going to side with your ex on this one, that was out of line of you to do (and being drunk was even more stupid)

[Apathetic]

Well I can see why she was curious about the girl,I would be as well.I think its a female thing..As for him telling you she has a 'nice butt'..that was uncalled for,maybe he was trying to get you jealous or see how you would react.

 

Since he was mad when he said he didnt want to talk to you ever again,there is a chance he just said it out of anger and didnt mean it at all.

[brittbritt]

Well sweetie reletionships are like broken glass, sometimes its better to throw it away than to try to put it back together and hurting yourself in the process. Sometimes you got to love and let go. If he got that angry for someone who he claims to be a friend then you need to also question that. That was a little drastic to say I don't want to talk to you but hey we live and we learn.

[prfrogkisser]

Sometimes is not a good idea to still be friends with an ex. It seems you still have feelings for him and this was the main reason why you acted this way. You wanted to see this girl for yourself. If she was prettier I can imagine the outcome. Why lower yourself and act inmature (drunk).Is being drunk the only way you can numb your real feelings? You still care about him and that hurts. Can you realize he has moved on? Sometimes you have to let go and move on.

This type of behavior will ruin any chance of him realizing how special you are.Dont lower yourself to any guy no matter how strong your feelings are!!!

 

[KittenMoon]

It was insensitive for him to talk about another girl and then tell you not to follow up on her- he obviously wanted you to because he wants that kind of attention. Even negative attention is attention.

 

But you fell for the bait. Get him out of your life until if/when he grows up and you can be more secure.

[Apathetic]

I too fell for my ex's stupid games..He recently had his away message on & it said something like "Im not here but if youre really hot,call me"..Like an IDIOT I ended up hanging out w/ him later that same day & told him off about the message & how it bothered me...3 days later-he had it on again & once again I IMED him & told him off for contiunally hurting me..Sadly I fell right into it

[riobikini]

supersweet85: "What should i do?"

 

Answer: First thing -you both need to refrain from waiting til you've been drinking alcohol to attempt anything that may require a more judgement-conscious condition of mind, -especially regarding such important relationship issues.

 

Second thing: Redeem yourself(-selves) by, first, apologizing to each other (that is, if he isn't still livid with anger towards you) and then discussing the whole mess face-to-face (sober, of course) -remembering to say exactly what it was that initially hurt you, (-and/or made you jealous, if that was, indeed, the true reason).

 

Provided he even wants to see you again, -don't hold your breath for his forgiveness, but...

 

Try to settle the greatest issue at hand with this meeting, -which is exchanging the apologies.

 

Thrid thing: If he refuses to see you, nor accept your apology, -don't hound him to death; you'll only make him angrier, -accept it- settle the issue with yourself, i.e. forgive yourself for your behavior and don't repeat it.

 

Fourth thing: Stay away from that particular bank (you'll only be embarrassing yourself by showing up, and definitely do not be seeking out his new girlfriend for further confrontations).

 

Fifth thing: Be a lady.

 

Be a lady with character from here on out.

 

Sixth thing: Now, look, we've all made those stupid mistakes we wish we could take back -but can't- so choose to diffuse this situation with what you do next, -not someone else.

 

You can make a huge difference just by taking charge of the situation by controlling and directing your own behavior -not spiralling off into some emotionally-induced, irrational behavior you will wind up regretting, again, prompted by something he (or gf) does or says.

 

What happens next is basically up to you.

 

If you choose to dig in the whole mess and cause yourself more pain, anger, and embarrassment, then -then so be it.

 

If you choose to give it your best shot at setting it all straight and keeping it straight, -then you've met the challenge, here, and can be proud of yourself for doing it.

 

I wish you good luck, -and wish for you the best.

 

Note: All said in kindness.

 

(Smile)

 

Take Care.

 

-Rio

[Merin]

1) Don't go to the bank drunk

 

There isn't a 2...

 

Your Ex is an insensitive assclown... even IF he said he wants to be friends, IMO sitting there telling you about the new GF was crappy of him.

 

However, it is his right to see whom he wishes just like it is your right NOT to be friends with someone who really doesn't have your best interest at heart.

[pisces writer]

you should be employed as a counselor, rio. or at least charge a nominal fee for advice

[SmoochieFace]

Only advice I can give that is worth its weight in gold is:

 

 

1: YOU cannot be friends with an ex. If it is meant to happen that a friendship develops, it is not healthy until at least 8-12 months go by with no contact whatsoever, and even then may cause hard feelings.

 

This crap of "lets be friends" is only a way for the breakup person to feel like you are chasing them and getting you jealous, and is a way for the one getting broke up with, a glimmer of hope that it will work out.

 

NO GOOD!

 

Exactly. Being *friends* with Xs is *beep*.

[riobikini]

Note for the majority, (-not the exception):

 

If you aren't fully recovered from a break-up, chances are you're only going to wind up terribly hurt -or, at least feel some kind of negative emotion, in most cases- when the ex decides to start dating or becomes involved in a new relationship.

 

Give yourself plenty of time before making the decision on maintaining a friendship.

 

In some cases, you can't avoid seeing the ex -i.e. you have a child(ren) together, or some other unavoidable reason for contact, -but you are always expected to shoot for an air of civility, albeit, not necessarily friendship.

 

There's no rulebook that says friendship can or cannot continue, -but common sense tells us that, when you are hurt, emotions do run high, -so put some distance between you regarding involvement and contact after the break-up, let yourself heal from the trauma, and re-evaluate the possibility for friendship later.

 

-Rio