BrianaW Posted September 12, 2001 Share Posted September 12, 2001 Just gonna jump right into it. I am 24, and have a boyfriend of almost a year and a half. It has been a LONG year and a half. In that time, he has cheated on me at least 5 times that I know of. Once with his ex gf, his female best friend, a girl we know from a computer game, and another friend of his. I admit, in retaliation of the ex gf and his friend, I messed around with a friend of mine.. no actual sex, but some very heavy petting. Each time he cheated he lied and lied and lied until he couldn't lie anymore and finally admitted it. I was up front about my actions. Anyway, recently he told me that when he met me he really enjoyed spending time with me because of my mind and how I saw the world (he is very conservative and I am very liberal) as well as how I can make him actually feel things (he is very emotionally withdrawn). Thing is he never really thought of it as a sexual thing, never really wanted it to be. (Although he was the first to initiate a sexual relationship.) He also says now that there is really only one position during sex with me that he really feels like it does him anything for him. Here is the kicker in my mind.. he keeps telling me he loves me and he has proposed to me. The cheating is a major issue to me.. I can't stop thinking about it. And then now knowing that he was going to these women cause he thinks I am a lousy lay I just can't see why he wants to marry me. SO my questions are: 1. Why would he want to marry me? 2. Can he stay faithful if he isnt getting everything from the sexual aspect? and 3. What can I do to make it better for him sexually... cause this is the first time anyone has ever complained about my sexual skills.. not that there have been a LOT of people.. but there have been enough that I know I would have heard soemthing from them about it if I was as lousy in the sack as I now feel I am Link to post Share on other sites
Daisy Posted September 12, 2001 Share Posted September 12, 2001 Honestly, I think he's using the lousy lay thing as a ploy. He probably says it in order to justify why he's slept with 5 other women ... and will continue to use it so he can sleep around with other women as well. And by the way, THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE. You REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY need to take a stand for yourself. You are letting this guy walk all over you. No woman should ever have to put up with that. And no man WORTH MARRYING would ever tell you he's loves you and then sleep with 5 women, and who knows how many others. Do not marry him. You can do so much better. As a matter of fact, not only should you NOT marry him, but you also need to dump his SORRY A$$. This guy needs a punch in the gut, a kick in the nuts, and then a kick in the ass to help him on his way out the door. Good riddens. Link to post Share on other sites
BeernThere Posted September 12, 2001 Share Posted September 12, 2001 I think your pride has been injured, but you seem to be lingering in fog of denial...spending too much time trying to figure out the "whys." Truth is, you already know the relationship is toxic, that your boyfriend is a cheat and pathalogical lier...so what is it you're asking here? The question I pose to you is..."So why are you still considering this marraige?" You know what's in your own best interests...so get a backbone and take action to do something about your situation! Just gonna jump right into it. I am 24, and have a boyfriend of almost a year and a half. It has been a LONG year and a half. In that time, he has cheated on me at least 5 times that I know of. Once with his ex gf, his female best friend, a girl we know from a computer game, and another friend of his. I admit, in retaliation of the ex gf and his friend, I messed around with a friend of mine.. no actual sex, but some very heavy petting. Each time he cheated he lied and lied and lied until he couldn't lie anymore and finally admitted it. I was up front about my actions. Anyway, recently he told me that when he met me he really enjoyed spending time with me because of my mind and how I saw the world (he is very conservative and I am very liberal) as well as how I can make him actually feel things (he is very emotionally withdrawn). Thing is he never really thought of it as a sexual thing, never really wanted it to be. (Although he was the first to initiate a sexual relationship.) He also says now that there is really only one position during sex with me that he really feels like it does him anything for him. Here is the kicker in my mind.. he keeps telling me he loves me and he has proposed to me. The cheating is a major issue to me.. I can't stop thinking about it. And then now knowing that he was going to these women cause he thinks I am a lousy lay I just can't see why he wants to marry me. SO my questions are: 1. Why would he want to marry me? 2. Can he stay faithful if he isnt getting everything from the sexual aspect? and 3. What can I do to make it better for him sexually... cause this is the first time anyone has ever complained about my sexual skills.. not that there have been a LOT of people.. but there have been enough that I know I would have heard soemthing from them about it if I was as lousy in the sack as I now feel I am Link to post Share on other sites
BrianaW Posted September 12, 2001 Share Posted September 12, 2001 Not really considering the marriage.. Just want to know how he can still claim these things when everything else points to signs that it is doomed! Link to post Share on other sites
BeenThere Posted September 13, 2001 Share Posted September 13, 2001 He's a liar. That's what liars do. Not really considering the marriage.. Just want to know how he can still claim these things when everything else points to signs that it is doomed! Link to post Share on other sites
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