lolita Posted September 12, 2001 Share Posted September 12, 2001 I haven't seen my ex in months. I've cut off all contact with him directly as i needed to get over him. However tomorrow I've got a function with mutual friends where i know he and his new girlfriend are going to be. i guess my question is, has anyone been through this? How do I act. I really want to be cordial and try to be the mature one here, (he lied and cheated and hurt me deeply with empty promises and i've been trying to not be bitter). Anyone have any moral support or words of wisdom on how i can keep my head up? I'm afraid everyone there will look at me and think "oh, poor her, she's got to see her ex with another girl". I don't want anyone's pity. help? advice? Link to post Share on other sites
BeenThere Posted September 12, 2001 Share Posted September 12, 2001 Oh man, this is a tricky one. Any way you can cut out on the event all together? Do you really have to go? I haven't seen my ex in months. I've cut off all contact with him directly as i needed to get over him. However tomorrow I've got a function with mutual friends where i know he and his new girlfriend are going to be. i guess my question is, has anyone been through this? How do I act. I really want to be cordial and try to be the mature one here, (he lied and cheated and hurt me deeply with empty promises and i've been trying to not be bitter). Anyone have any moral support or words of wisdom on how i can keep my head up? I'm afraid everyone there will look at me and think "oh, poor her, she's got to see her ex with another girl". I don't want anyone's pity. help? advice? Link to post Share on other sites
lolita Posted September 12, 2001 Share Posted September 12, 2001 Well, even if i don't go to this one of my good friend's bday's is coming up anyway. Either way i'm gonna see em. Any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
midori Posted September 12, 2001 Share Posted September 12, 2001 Think of yourself as one of those beautiful, glamorous old-time Hollywood stars -- Audrey Hepburn comes to mind. Doesn't matter if you look a bit like her, sound like her (or even like her!). Just think of the grace and dignity that such figures exuded ... and try to do the same to the best of your ability. Obviously don't seek out contact with your ex & the new woman. If you'll be there with some friends ask them to give you a heads up if they see the ex heading toward you, and also ask them to not leave you alone with him under any circumstances. Keep it civil & distant. Answer any questions as vaguely as possible, "fine, thank you," and don't follow up with questions of your own, even if they are of the most banal and commonplace sort. Be supremely disinterested but too polite to act on it. Try to be engaged in conversations with other people as much as possible so that opportunities for the ex to interact with you are minimized. Don't expect anything to come out of the evening as far as your ex goes. If you harbor secret hopes of vindication, revenge or anything like that you're likely to be disappointed or, worse, prompted to do something you'll later regret. In short, have your guard up and be wary but try to enjoy yourself as much as you can. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted September 12, 2001 Share Posted September 12, 2001 Got out and find the best looking man you can and ask him if he would go to this event with you. Let him know up front why...and buy him a nice dinner for taking an hour or two of his time. When you see your ex, say hello and move right along. Turn this whole thing around and let him see YOU with a nice hunk of a stud. Link to post Share on other sites
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