PooPoo Bear Posted September 12, 2001 Share Posted September 12, 2001 Strange forum to be gathering reltionship advice - But perhaps the cold contact of the internet will provide some unbiased info... I've never claimed to understand men & their games, but this one's really confusing me... I've been seeing a guy for a couple of weeks now, and last night, he confessed - "You are too good for me - I'm such an a**h*** in relationships, and you are so caring and pretty and sexy and smart and fun... You are just going to end up hating me, and I don't want that to happen..." I replied... "What makes you say that you are such an a**h***?", curious to know if, in this moment of revelation, he had some pertinate tale to tell... Mr. Deep Thoughts proceeded to say that he was just never happy, never satisfied with what he had... Even though it seemed that in this case it seemed he should be, the looming presence of past a**h***-isms could not be avoided... Then, he recounted that lovely Aesop's Fable of "The Fox and The Scorpion", wherein the scorpion convinces the fox to take it across a stream, claiming the animal will be safe from its venemous sting since if it were to strike, they both would perish in the water... Halfway across the stream, the scorpion stings the fox, and when asked "Why", replies, "It's in my nature..." My question to all you man-philosiphers out there (Woman-philosiphers, too, though I challange anyone to make sense of this crap) - Should I continue to spend time with this guy, or is the purchase of a can of Raid forseeable (aka. advisable) in my near future? Link to post Share on other sites
midori Posted September 12, 2001 Share Posted September 12, 2001 Buy the Raid!!! Run Away!!! I'm not over-reacting, belive me. I just addressed a similar question a bit earlier. Speaking directly, from personal experience, I can tell you that when a man says "I'm nothing but trouble" or "I'm not going to be there for you in the way that you want me to" -- believe him. Even when he simultaneously sends mixed message that he doesn't WANT to be that way, that what he'd really like is to be a good, loving, happy partner, believe the overt message that says he will disappoint and hurt you sooner or later. In my experience (sad to say, more than once) when a man starts warning you off while implicitly asking you to stay, he is effectively washing his hands of the matter. He's saying "well, I warned her I'm a jerk. I've told her about my past misdeeds and explained that it's in my nature, so if she chooses to stay around it's because she's willing to take responsibility for the consequences." If and when such a man changes, if and when he develops a full appreciation for the roots of his issues, and IF and WHEN he's really, sincerely ready to turn over a new leaf he will not be so cocky in admitting his past foibles. They will be a source of embarrassment to him. He will not want his new partner to think that that's how he'll be with her. He will not flash his past like a badge of honor ... because he'll finally recognize that it isn't one. Doesn't sound like Mr. Scorpion is there (and you'll never get him there. No one but NO ONE can get him there but himself, when he's good and ready). If I were you I'd run before I got stung. Link to post Share on other sites
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