Girlfriend develops Saddam Hussein evil

[Values]

My girlfriend and I had a tought start in the summer of 2003, she was leaving a long term boyfriend and I had fallen in love with her basically at first sight. After a few months of depression and hell for me she was done with him and we got started with our a magical beautiful love. After a year of being together and sharing what I thought was everything we had to move to separate towns (me working in one town and her in another). So since november 2004 we have been living 1.5 hours apart with mutual plans to get married. She knew I was busting my 26 year old chops to have enough money to fulfill our dreams. Well, she broke up with me on Valentine's Day 2006. Here's where it gets terrible. The last day I saw her, she invited me to her house, she tells me she is on a pill to help her ovarian cysts go down and that her doctor says she will require surgury. When she broke up with me I was still worried about her health so I called her mom and asked for an update after my GF's operation. Her mom said that no such problem existed. I found out that the pills she was taking were birth control that she got on to start having sex with her new guy. I found out that she had been on these pills for a few weeks and that when she was at my house eating CHRISTMAS dinner she was already steaming it up with her new boy toy. I found out from her mother that she had been dating several guys for the year she had been at home away from me. Now, when my GF was little she was sent to live with her Grandma even though her parents had more than enough money for 10 kids. She didn't get to live with daddy and mama until she was around 7 and that was just to keep the gossip down about why she didn't live with parents. Add to that the fact that my GF claims she was date raped and had an abortion at the age of 19. She even claimed to be suicidal at the start of our relationship, and said I raised her up and made her happy, She said she was going to marry me, over and over. Anyway I still care about her although I know we are done. I want to move on, but I am so depressed at her cheating and sex and chronic lying that I am trying to resist suicide. Sorry so long, please help, I think she has "daddy issues" but am I just looking for something to make me feel less like a loser. I NEVER cheated on her.

[Values]

She also hasn't been without a boyfriend since she was about 17 years old. Now she's 24.5 and has always had a guy to go to, to never be alone. Is this a pattern? Am I a loser for letting her do this, I just loved her blindly, I always trusted her and never got jealous. She even made up lies about having family members sick and dying in hospital just to do what she wanted.

[Barby]

Though this won't help you feel any better........be glad you're done with her. Sounds like she's unable to fullfill a void that her father's absence undoubtedly created.

 

No you're not a loser....nor is she.....she felt unloved, abandoned I'm sure.........and though she knows it's not going to work attempts to fill that lonely void, relationship after relationship...

 

Honestly her not being alone says a lot, she's always got a back up in case one leaves her.

 

I say you're much better off because until she learns her pattern of destructive behavior is wrong and comes to find a solution much more healthy than this...she isn't going to make a good wife, let alone partner for anyone. Suicide would not help anything she has the problem.......not you!

[Bryanp]

Time for a reality check. She is a serial cheater, liar and drama queen and played you for a fool. Come on - you are 26 years old. Do you honestly think she is the only woman for you on this planet? How do you think your life would have been if you had never met her? I will tell you. You would have met somebody else which is what will happen to you in the future. You are working hard and will have a great future. Again she is a serial cheater and a

liar and someone you would never be able to trust. Don't waste your feelings and your future on her. Your deserve better.

[whichwayisup]

It's not you, it is HER.

 

You two got together 'as she was ending another relationship' just like it seems now she was 'with' another guy, or about to be, as she was ending it with you.

 

She is a woman so far, who isn't independant, she defines herself and her security by having a boyfriend. She hasn't grown up yet, and definately hasn't learned from past mistakes.

 

I know this is painful for you, but it's better you find this out now. Could you imagine living with her, starting a life, getting married and having children and THEN finding out all along she was cheating on you? In time, when the pain is less, you'll see her in a different light. Right now you're not capable of seeing her mistakes and how many issues she has...Eventually that WILL catch up to her. Luckily for you, you won't be the guy who has to drag her to therapy and sort her out.

 

Take care of you now. Vent, cry, scream, but please, don't try to figure her out...I will say it again, you did nothing wrong!

[Values]

I guess the problem is that I still care about her well being even though I know we can't be together ever again. Does anyone think all this behavior will ever catch up to her? It was just back in December before I knew about the cheating that she told me she was trying to live her life in the christian way and be faithful to God. Because of her religion and church going ways she said she didn't want anymore sex till marriage and that she didn't want to do any oral sex with me anymore either. I found out that 2 weeks after this heartfelt religious conversation about Godly behavior that she was on birth control to have sex with another guy. This seems horrible to me on so many levels, ladies in the forum--will this ever catch up to her? She would look me right in the eyes, smile, and lie about God, marriage, making love. To me, her parents, and to her pastor who was just trying to help her sort her problems out.

[Sassy]

She is the one that has the problems be glad she is your past. She was sleeping with guys, think of all the things you could have gotten from sleeping with her . she could have gotten preggo and blamed you . You are better without her sounds like she has some major issues going on with her and you are better without her. Good luck

[blind_otter]

Yes, it catches up to you. I was all messed up about relationships and used to do some s*** things to people. Not that they were innocent. Whatever.

 

Anyways, serious consequences lead to maturation. She will run into them. She is reponsible for herself. Let her go.

[electric_sheep]

Oh Jesus ! Sounds like my first girlfriend. She lied to me constantly. She told me she had some kind of rare blood disease to try and get me to stay in the relationship. She lied to me about getting an abortion.

 

She slept with my best friend and my roommate.

 

Some people simply love to be manipulative and bring misery to other people. I debated for the longest time whether my girlfriend was mentally ill or not. My mom told me that she was simply evil. I wish I had listened. Mom's actually can have a pretty good sense for stuff like that.

 

Be strong. Move on. Stop thinking and obsessing about her. Stop thinking about what she did to you. Forget about her. Start thinking about other things ... school, work, basketball, whatever. Emmerse yourself in a project or hobby. Start meditating. Start jogging. Join an online dating site. Read a book.

 

I know this can be hard. I was madly in love with this girl that had been so evil to me. It's almost like an addiction. You can overcome. You will fall in love again ... believe me. Hopefully with someone not so crazy.

 

If you think about it, the mom must even know how evil and manipulative her lying daughter is ... she probably told you the truth out of a feeling of guilt.

 

Good luck.

 

p.s.

Goodness. I almost forgot about how she would threaten suicide whenever I would go to break up with her.

 

You need to stop seeing/talking with this girl cold turkey. I'm serious. Work on yourself some.

 

p.s.s.

It doesn't matter whether it catches up with her or not. Just get her out of your life. If you continue to think about her and have any kind of relationship with her you are just setting yourself up for more misery, and possibly an endless manipulative/co-dependent cycle that will accomplish nothing but bring you unhappiness.

 

Dude, it's not like she lied about her favorite color or where she and her girlfriends went for dinner Thursday night. She lied about serious health issues. That is pathological. Life is too short. You'll find another girl that will get your rocks off, believe me.