consumed Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 Ok, some background story on my situation. I met this girl at my old work, we've met a few times at parties. About month and 1/2 ago we go on date. Week later I stay over at her place. Then this past weekend we got together again and then last night I stayed over. She lives with a family member who is really cool and happy with me being there over night. Here's the question. Last night I did not get any sleep because I forgot my alarm clock and mostly we were well.. you get the idea. I'm thinking 2 things right now. I can go home after work and crash, probably wake up around 6-7am tomorrow morning. Or I can call her or just go over to her place later after work because I know she will be going to bed so I thought maybe I would just spoon or cuddle because I know she liked that the previous nights and last night she was telling me how happy she was and surprised that I just popped over because she didn't think I would. So I need an opinion? Should I go over tonight, and if so should I just show up or call first? Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 How about this? Invite her over to your place for dinner and have her stay? Regarding the family member, well that might be an issue, ie someone that needs caring for. Disregard the suggestiong if she is caring for a family member. Call at least before showing up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author consumed Posted March 15, 2006 Author Share Posted March 15, 2006 The family member who she lives with is an oldy lady who is dating someone at the moment or as far as I was told so I don't think that's an issue. As for asking her to come to my house, I have in the past once but I'm in my early twenties and live at home and she feels awkward and would rather not. At her place, well you know how girls talk, her relative and her are very open about stuff. The few times I have slept over the family member is upstairs and we could be downstairs but making noise... and then she has told me the next day her and her relative talk about it. Girl talk I assume. Anyways, I was actually thinking of calling her family member and asking if it's alright that I come by later. I could call this girl at work but.. I dunno... you are always scared to hear that no... and besides I know how happy she was that I showed up yesterday and surprised her. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 ahh got it. Call a few minutes before showing up, bring some flowers. Say it is for the hostess; unless it is "been there done that" I've done it before and it bought brightness to her eyes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author consumed Posted March 15, 2006 Author Share Posted March 15, 2006 So you don't think I'm pushing things by going over then? My friend made a good point in that how can you be rushing things when I have already stayed the night a few times. She likes a rebel sort of personality or so I've picked up. Like things she says she actually might want the total opposite. If she says she just going to go to bed for the night, she's happy if I jump in my car and just show up. Anyways though I hope it works out ok... I don't want to blow things because I show up and seem like mr.pushy. about the flowers though, we arn't really dating... it's in that friend/benifits zone but with the way we said goodbye this morning.. Its got to be close. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 If it is FWB well it can end at anytime; especially when one gets feelings. Since it is late, this probably won't help you now. Just show up, but don't do it everyday. Change it up a little; live your life a little, even if it is watching tv. Link to post Share on other sites
magda Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 I think you should go to bed and let this one go. She might start to get the wrong idea if you come by 2 nights in a row. Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 I remember those days....the "can't wait to see each other", "spend every waking moment together", tired as hell the next day from getting no sleep whatsoever. This is normal to feel this way about wanting to see her all the time. If she likes you as much, she won't care if you want to spend all your time with her. I'm 38, and I would kill to feel young like that again...but, I am too damn tired and got too many responsibilities to be carefree like that. I think that stops when you have kids. Just enjoy your twenties while you still can!! I would call her right before stopping over though. Just seems more polite. Link to post Share on other sites
Author consumed Posted March 16, 2006 Author Share Posted March 16, 2006 wow did I get winded last night. I went over to her house to surprise her and she answered the door with this look on her face. She asked me to come in and then said she was glad I showed up because she was just writting me an email but felt it was better to tell me in person. Said basically she felt different or bad all day and that whatever has happened is not her. She said because of me she learned flings are not her thing and she has no feelings for me so basically it's better if we called it quits all together and did not see each other any more. Gotta say I didn't see that coming. I left right then, what could I say... felt like crap all night. Link to post Share on other sites
Author consumed Posted March 16, 2006 Author Share Posted March 16, 2006 I'll add too that she told me she didn't feel a buzz when she was with me or that butterfly feeling and she thinks she should be feeling it for us to hang out. Said she has that buzz with her friends, and so we should stop seeing eachother totally but if she sees me in town (unlikely with the size of my city) she won't ignor me. I can understnad her feelings but not even wanted to hang out or keep in contact? That kinda gave the final blow. And then she goes to give me a hug and asks me if I'll be alright.... Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 I've read your other thread. Sorry to hear about your loss. Just just some sleep to start the next day new and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
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