How can you tell it's over?

[MissingLink]

Hmmm? How should I start this. Well, I've in a three year relationship with this girl whom I deeply love. But lately I feel that she doesn't love me the same. She says she does but the way she says it tells something else. Anyways I asked her if there was some other person she interested in and she would say, " A silly question will get a silly answer!" I know what shes' trying to tell me that I'm being stupid but in my mind she hiding something from me. I don't want to keep on nagging her but I'm just afraid that I going to lose her to someone else! I hope not!

 

I need a womens point of view Please!

[Tony T]

You asked for a woman's viewpoint and I'm sure you'll get one but I'm going to chime in here and tell you what you are feeling cannot continue. If you go day after day feeling insecure in your relationship, you will surely fall out of love.

 

If your lady can't make you feel like you are really special and that you are the one she wants to help make happy and be with for a very long time, you have no choice but to move on.

 

You can't expect anybody to feel fireworks forever and three years is a long time. She probably doesn't get the same ripples down her spine now that she did at the beginning of your relationship. But if she doesn't show you she feels very special and content in the relationship and that YOU are her man, then you'll have to re-evaluate the relationship.

 

I don't think any visitor to this forum, male or female, will be able to read your girlfriend's mind. You've got to talk to her straight-away, heart-to-heart to get to the core of how she feels about you and the relationship. See if you can point her back to where she used to help you feel better about things.

[Miss Mojo]

hi missing link,

 

there's really no point in wondering if she still feels the same about you. there's no point in living each day not feeling secure in your relationship.

 

cut to the chase and ask her if she is happy in this relationship. perhaps she just feels settled in the relationship now. very few relationships continue to have that magical feeling that is always there when you start seeing each other. of course, only she can tell you if she's happy in this relationship. there's no point second-guessing her words and actions. you will drive yourself insane and drive a wedge between the two of you.

 

it's important to find out where you stand with her and if you both still want the same things. that way, you can decide whether or not to move on the relationship, or move on without her.

 

best wishes

[Lola]

Tell her that you were thinking about taking a "break" from the relationship. See how she reacts.

 

If she is devastated, explain to her that you feel like she needed the time away, because she was acting distant. The ball is in your court, whether or not you do want a break.

 

If she agrees, then you know... Maybe you can work out an agreement not to date until 6 months from now. On that date you will get back together and see how things roll. Maybe you will find out that you can't live without each other, or maybe you will find out that you are better off without one another.