Happy Stories, anyone?

[KittenMoon]

It's been really great to be on this site since my break-up and have someplace to vent. But there seems to be so much pain all around- no forum seems to have a whole lot of happiness in it. And when I read about all the cheating, or being involved with married or otherwise attached people, I wonder if I'll be able to trust anyone in this world. While I realize that happy people tend not to spend hours posting on web forums, I'd like to hear some happy stories, and I thought this thread might be a good place to start. So:

 

Does anyone have any happy stories about second chances and working things out? Even if its a rare occurence and may never happen to us individually, it would be nice to hear it happens in the world around us.

 

And if you are just going to say that when it's over, it's over, etc, butt out, cause I wanna read some positive outlooks, even if its idealistic! I think it would be nice to have a thread of sunshine to look into every once in a while and know that for some people, somewhere, things can work out.

 

Here's one from my life:

 

Two of my friends dated for a long time. It was first loves for the both of them, but at one point she decided she needed to have more freedom. While they still saw each other way more than I thought was appropriate or respectful (since the guy in question would obviously wait until the end of time for her), she moved away and started her own outside life. After about a year of this, she came back to him, realizing she had made a huge mistake. I'm not sure I agree with this path, but I also know these two, and I have no doubt that she really loves him and that maybe, sometimes, with some people, it takes something very difficult and maybe a little distasteful to show you what's right.

 

 

Share your stories please, and help dissuade my fears that there are no happy ending.

[Touche]

I believe in second chances. My turned out GREAT! It was a second chance at marriage and happiness...with a different man.

 

Maybe that's not what you meant though...

[KittenMoon]

Not really, but right now, any happy story is appreciated. It just seems like there's way more pain and anger on this site and not enough people sharing positive experiences.

[kitten chick]

Well KittenMoon, this is a site for relationship problems. You're not going to see too many happy stories. There are a couple of married people here that will completely talk your ear off about how happy they are though. I would suggest seeking them out if that's what you're looking for.

[luvtoto]

There are so many people hurting on LS. If I would post anything positive about my relationship, I would feel a bit guilty. No one wants to hear how happy someone is if they are in the pits of despair. It doesn't make someone feel good, it makes them feel worse. IMO of course.

[Touche]

I don't agree with you toto...it gives some people hope.

[destination_unknown]

My grandfather left my grandmother with two very small babies. He moved out of the country and was involved with OW for years and years. Dont think OW ever knew he was married. 30 years later, years after OW had passed away, my grandmother and granfather reconciled, and spent the last years of their lives happily (from what i can see happily) together. I dont think my grandmother was ever with another man in the thirty years her husband left her alone, and that makes me sad. But they did find peace and contentment with each other in the end.

[KittenMoon]

That was a sweet story, destination, even though I feel for your grandmother. She must have had a hard time over those years.

 

For the naysayers- what's wrong with sharing some happy stories to give people hope that there's well, hope and barring that, more chances to come in life?

 

Here's another from my life:

 

My aunt married a man ten years older than her. His first wife died of cancer. If he hadn't moved on, I wouldn't have my two cousins, both teenangers now. And when I see my aunt and uncle, they are still affectionate and loving- more like two people my age (20s) than theirs (50s and 60s).

[Art_Critic]

I'm happy that I divorced my wife.. and yes if I could get a 2nd chance to divorce her I'd do it again

[Still_In_Love]

I'm happy that I divorced my wife.. and yes if I could get a 2nd chance to divorce her I'd do it again

 

Hahaha...LOL!

Good one Art..you just made my day!

[luvtoto]

I don't agree with you toto...it gives some people hope.

 

You are probably right, Touche'! I know I enjoy hearing them myself....so who am I to speak for others?? Hey...I have my moments. Some ain't so good.

 

So, here's my story of hope....

 

I was dating the love of my life about 3 yrs ago. To make a long story short, let's just say he had me at 'hello'. That says it all. Anyway, we moved in within 3 months of knowing each other...my kids and his son. Then, we were engaged 3 months later.

 

Shortly after, everything crumbled. Now, I understand the phrase 'Fools rush in'. We broke up for 2 years. He never re-dated. I dated on and off. Nothing serious. I spent the next few years working on my personality flaws. The ones that drove him away.

 

In these last few years, I've realized that we can't live without each other. We are both very much in love still. The passion is still alive and well.

 

We are now dating. It's different this time. He calls when he says he's gonna call, and I don't pressure him like I used to. No more insecurities on my part. They are all gone.

 

I think we might get it right this time. We've both changed alot about ourselves to keep each other in our lives. It's great!! I'm very happy about it.

 

Love always finds a way.

If it was meant to be it will be.

If you let them go and they come back, then they are yours!

 

Hope my story offers someone hope.

[justagirliegirl]

Good thread!

 

What I wonder from coming here and reading a lot is are most relationships really full of turmoil?

 

I have a happy story. My man and I love each other and get along quite well.

[Kengne]

Hi KittenMoon!

 

I think I have a story for you - from a fellow LSer who recent months ago was posting on here about TWO breakups I went through last year.

 

I met my bf R in Mar 05, shortly on the heels of a breakup with my ex-bf M of 4 years (he cheated).

 

R and I began dating in May 05 ... we had a REALLY rough patch at the beginning, there was ALOT of drama going on ... at one point R said to me how he felt like he'd been with me for a year lol ...Anywho, so in Oct 05 ... things were going OK ... seemingly out of the blue, to me ... I'm always the last to catch onto stuff ... R broke up with me.

 

Guys ... I was very, VERY upset and MAD esp because R game the cover story of ".. I care about you, I still want to be with you, but smth is holding me back from giving you my 100%, my all etc... and it's not fair to either of us..."

 

You can read my entire thread about it: HERE

 

I was just shocked. Shocked shocked shocked. It was very hard at first for me to understand R's decision to end things, because it wasn't as if he just STOPPED caring or was no longer interested in me. I could have understood that, because at least THAT made sense.

 

After our break-up... of COURSE, R still wanted to 'be friends'. In his words " I never had the intention of NEVER talking to you again".

 

I straight up told him I wasn't having it! He could have all of me - or none of me. But after some soul-searching in the days following our break-up... I came to the conclusion that I still cared about him too, and still wanted him in my life. And if we were going to be 'just friends' - alright fine.

 

But I told him I was going to start dating other people asap. He wasn't happy about it, but he remained firm in his decision.

 

And in my head, I knew that from now on he'd be getting the Friend Treatment which means you are no longer a priority for me. We talk when we talk. Even some of my closest friends ... weeks will go by without us talking AT ALL... but we're still tight.

 

So we became 'friends'.

 

Sadly... R and I were both bad friends. I barely called him, he barely called me. A loose form of NC fell into place. We never saw each other, hung out, nothing.

 

For about 1 mth - we were doing this 'Friends' thing. I was moving on with my life. Then in mid-Nov ... we had a little situation, having to do with me not returning his call promptply (like I used to do when we were together)... and that led to him asking me to meet up in person (the FIRST time since our breakup)... to talk. He said he had to get some things off his chest.

 

We met up mid-Nov... and that's when R FINALLY revealed the real reasons surrounding our breakup.

 

Basically.. I was still in regular C with my ex-bf, M, which ultimately ended up being a hidden source of resentment/frustration for R who had felt like the 3rd wheel in the me-R-M triangle. R felt I had unresolved feelings etc towards M... didn't understand why I still kept so much in touch w M after all the b.s. M put me through even AFTER our break-up... but R did not let me know during the course of our rel'ship how it was affecting him & jeopardizing our rel'ship. I ONLY found this out weeks AFTER our break-up when we had the talk!

 

At that same time ... R told me he wanted to 'working things out' and 'start over from scratch' with me. So in mid-Nov... we decided to start over, and take things slow.

 

From Nov - Feb ... R and I had been 'taking things slow'. Whatever that meant. We hung out, talked, just got to know one another again. I can safely say that our friendship became stronger than before, and I grew so much as a person during this time. I also stopped talking to my ex-M.

 

In the beginning, I dated other people. R did not. I stopped sometime in Nov-Dec, and then in Jan told R I was going to start dating other people again. At the time I was feeling frustrated with our pseudo-friendship/relationship even though we were NOT FWB or having sex (I don't believe in that shyt!).

 

R told me again that he cared about me and wanted to be with me, but was not ready to be in a relationship with me. He later clarified that a part of him was ready and wanted to jump back into our rel'ship ... but then another part of him was holding back, so he wasn't ready to SAY the words 'Let's start this' i.e. be official, RIGHT now.

 

I thanked him for his honesty... told him I understood, and did not want to pressure him in any way (which he assured me I was NOT, and had NOT been doing at all - I mean this was really our first 'talk' about 'us' in MTHS!)... but told him that for ME... to not be frustrated, I needed to start seeing other people.

 

Again, he was NOT happy abt my decision but ... and I respect him ALOT for this ... R did not just tell me what I wanted to hear i.e. say let's be official, JUST because I told him how I felt and what I was going to do.

 

So we just continued in the 'Starting Over' thing... and then in the end of Feb ... seemingly out of nowhere, AGAIN lol... R came to me one day, asked me how I felt about him, told me he cared about me, missed me and wanted to try with us again ... and said he was ready, and wanted to know if I still felt the same... I told him I did... and so that day we made it official.

 

We've been back together, in a relationship, for almost a month now.

 

For both of us... this is the first time EVER we've done a 2nd chance with an ex. So this is new territory.

 

But ... I'm really happy with the way things are going now ... alot of the drama from before has disappeared/been resolved ... don't get it twisted, we still have some issues to work out like everyone else ... but hey, Rome wasn't built in a day...

 

I just look forward to what each day brings... I try not to take anything for granted... and I realize that ultimately down the road, things may or may not work out ... but I'm not concerned abt the future, I'm just living for the here & the now enjoying the journey ... I'll worry abt the destination when I get there.

 

That's it!

 

So for those who are hoping for 2nd chances... yes it CAN and DOES happen ... but one thing you def have to do ... is realize it MAY not happen ... and ALWAYS always live for yourself. When R and I broke up, I eventually came to the point where I ACCEPTED that we were broken up, and I ACCEPTED that we might not get back together.

 

I LET GO and LET GOD. I believed that if R was meant to be in my life - he would. And if not, then that's just the way things were meant to be.

 

And that sometimes ... you go through hard things in life e.g. a breakup... to prepare for better things around the corner, whether it's a 2nd chance with your ex, or a 2nd chance with someone new!

 

Hope my story helps, and big HugZ to all of you!

 

There is ALWAYS hope.

 

K.

[hurtbeyondwords]

I LET GO and LET GOD. I believed that if R was meant to be in my life - he would. And if not, then that's just the way things were meant to be.

 

And that sometimes ... you go through hard things in life e.g. a breakup... to prepare for better things around the corner, whether it's a 2nd chance with your ex, or a 2nd chance with someone new!

 

 

K.

 

 

Thank you Kengne, I really needed to be reminded of that. You made my day

[No Stress Lady]

I'm engaged to the man of my dreams! :D

 

I'm in my thirties now and feel that I know myself better than ever, I'm incredibly blesed with a fantastic family and fantastic friends and I love my job too!!!!

 

I've had OK boyfriends, crap boyfriends, been heartbroken, been indifferent and now, having gone through all those relationships I'm with a guy that is perfect for me!!! But I had to finally become truly happy within myself first and when I did there he was!!!!

[IheartmyBarista]

New here w/ a happy story:). I'll try to be concise.

 

My BF and I are both divorced w/ children. We dated 10 mo's and it was truly a wonderful relationship full of love, kindness and respect. So you can imagine my complete surprise when he broke up w/ me VERY suddenly. 2 of his children were struggling w/ the divorce and he felt so guilt ridden that he felt he needed to focus more on them and ultimately felt maybe he should give it another shot w/ his ex-W for his kids. You can imagine my heartbreak and devastation, but as a parent I understood on some level wanting to give your children a 2nd chance at a whole family.

 

We were apart for 4 mo's, and had contact maybe 3 times in those 4 mos.

 

He just recently came back to me in Feb, begging for another chance, full of regrets and remorse for letting me go, stating he'd made a huge colossal mistake, stating that I'm the One for him....

 

I decided to give him another shot b/c I truly love him and I DO believe in 2nd chances when they are honestly and genuinely sought. We are proceeding cautiously, and so far so good!