monaliza Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 I've been snooping on my bf n I found he's been talking with his ex asking her to take him back n that he still loves her.That was a month into our dating we have been dating for 7 monthes.and he send his other ex flowers for v-day.he tells me he doesnt talk to his exs but he almost talk to them everyday sometimes twice a day.I've caught him in so many lies.I dont know what to do I've been hoping that he'd change but its the same story over and over.I know that my snooping is not right in the first place but I found something that was going on behind my back.I feel guilty about the whole thing .I even told him bout it n we were trying to work things out.But I just couldnt trust him and went back n check his mail he still talks to her she telling him that they will make it and that she loves him n she is so greatful that he is in her life...and he post this on myspace as a testmonial n told me that I was overreacting and she is just his ex but I feel disrespected that he kept contact with her when he know that she still have feelings for him n im not comfortable with him talking to her everyday. I snooped because I was suspecious the first time n I promised I wont do it again but I also found that something was going on behind my back....second time I was wrong because I break my promise n snooped again but again he was still lying to me and talkin to her behind my back. Help please I'm really messed up and hurt and confused. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 You should have broken up with him 6 months ago when you first caught him trying to get back with his ex. I don't understand why you didn't. You could have saved yourself a world of hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 I agree with B_O, why are you still with him? How can you not know what to do? End it. You don't have to tell him you've been snooping. Just break it off. Overreacting my ass. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 Leave this guy now!!! It's one thing for him to want to talk to an ex and stay friends, but that's obviously not what is going on here. Buying her flowers, saying he loves her, and asking her to take him back is a red flag. You deserve someone who only wants you and is devoted to only you! You can't trust this guy. He's no good. If he cared about your feelings, he would of left you and then gone to be with her. He's only with you for some other reason, but not because he loves you and wants to be with you. Get out now...there's better guys out there than this jerk. Link to post Share on other sites
Author monaliza Posted March 15, 2006 Author Share Posted March 15, 2006 I am still with him because I confronted him and we were trying to work things out .He already know that I was snooping and he said that he'd cut losses with her and I promised that I won't snoop again.But he wont change n I love him to the point that I dont know how to end it. Link to post Share on other sites
yawhatever Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 Well i dont think its good advice to tell her what she should have done 6 months ago. I wasn't aware we can go back in time !! OK if you "snoop" it realy means you care for him and he dosn't really care cuz he thinks your like madly in love.. yea whatever. If you do care for him you should just cut him off and see what happends. Most likely he will realize that he screwed up and come running back. His ex probably dosn't want him back since their not together, or you might have been out of the picture already for him. Link to post Share on other sites
guest Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 so what do I do cut him off ?But I really want to work things out ,I jsut dont know how. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 any more advises?I didnt talk to him for 2 days hes been calling me n all but I really want to answer his calles or call him my self I just dont know Link to post Share on other sites
kypepeo Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 You are really messing yourself up by staying with him. It was wrong for you to snoop because you should trust your partner and snooping shows a lack of trust. Because he has proved that he’s not trustworthy, you keep snooping and that will mean that you trust issue will just get worse. The next time you are with someone whom you should trust, you’ll end up doing what you have made a habit…….snooping…….and that could ruin a good thing. Don’t let this loser you are with take away your ability to trust. It’s just not worth it. You keep saying that you want him to change but what will make him change if he knows that even if he lies to you and you find out, you’ll still stick around. You need to get serious about this. Leave him. Let him see that you are not going to take his rubbish anymore. You deserve better, go and get it. Link to post Share on other sites
nicki Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 oh, this is a situation that i have been through. I found out a year into our relationship that he had emailed his ex six months earlier, telling her that he missed her, etc....and he lied to me about the whole thing. He promised that he loved me, said that he "probably" wouldn't have left me back then. He just had a hard time letting go, etc...He said he wanted to marry me, treated me the way I had always dreamed a man would. Bottom line: I stayed, but I never ever forgot what he did. I always second-guessed myself. Was I the second choice? It ruined our relationship. Leave this guy now. He has shown you that you are a back-up girl. He would rather have the other woman. But she doesn't seem to want him. So he keeps you around. For now. So take action, stop being passive. He's not committed to you at all. This is how you leave him. Get pissed off. He has treated you like s***. Anger can help you take action. It's like a fuel, if you use it correctly. Remove your stuff from his apartment. Leave him a bye bye note. Tell him NOT to call YOU ever again. Erase his phone number and junk-mail his email address. Get busy dating other men. Take it from me, this situation can't really get better. Only another guy will be better. Link to post Share on other sites
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