Why Cheat?

[Ejs82]

Cheating (sexually and by socializing to a 3rd party enough behind the other's back past a certain degree) on a bf/gf/spouse is my #1 hate in a relationship...

 

I dont see as to why someone must cheat on another and hurt them, and they know it will surely and deeply hurt their bf/gf/spouse. If someone was truly in love, REAL love, with their spouse..then how can they actually work the courage up to cheat or even go so far as to lie about it? I personally think that would take a lot of guts of a coward. Thats not love, I think that is just 'liking very very much' but not 'love.' I mean, if you constantly feel like doing this or have these feelings then get out of your current relationship...isn't it clear?

 

I just cant see how anyone can ever do this to a 'loved' one. This is just MY opinion and I needed to post it.

[Tony T]

People often tend to cheat for the same reason that people who have plenty of money shoplift.

 

There is a certain rush of adrenaline that people get for doing the forbidden with the possiblity of getting caught. It's a crazy human thing. People spend money they don't have for the rush of seeing if they can win lots of money gambling. It's an addiction.

 

There is no good or acceptable reason for cheating but lots of people these days just don't keep their word or their vows. People sign leases and break them, sign contracts and don't perform, vow to be faithful and cheat.

 

I really don't know how bad all that was in the past but it seems nowdays more and more people don't keep their word about lots of things...staying faithful to their mate is just one of many things in this category.

[Miss Mojo]

150% agreed.

 

if a person is not happy, there is no reason to stay in a relationship and screw someone else at the same time.

 

why not attempt to:

 

a) work on the relationship; or

 

b) break up giving you the freedom to do whatever (and whoever) you want.

 

as far as i'm concerned, cheating screws numerous people in more ways than one and is totally selfish.

[marzipan75]

Hi,

 

I totally agree with you. Having been through this with my ex, it frustrated me to no end. He cheated, he broke up w/me and went off with the other cheater (they were both cheaters!). Then 2&1/2 months later he wants to be "friends". I dont think so. Confusing? Yessss! Frustrating? Yessss! Amusing? Noooope!

 

I have been to therapy to discuss this in my time of trying to get over all of this and I came to an interesting and obvious conclusion, here it goes:

 

They aren't sure they are in love, so maybe in their minds they want to actually explore the possibility of being with someone else and yet not think about losing you while they do that. They cheat and then the excitement of the cheating is over and they find they don't have much in common with the other person, just like the conclusion they came to with you, except that they were stupid enough to cheat!

 

OR They think they are not in love so they must prove it to themselves by cheating. They don't think or they just dont think enough and so they do this not realizing later that you won't be around to pick them up off the floor when things go wrong.

 

Exploring this is a good step towards moving on, so try not to dwell on it too much. Everybody's got to be free to make their own mistakes, no matter how dumb, it's how we learn. Anyhoo, those are my thoughts and I had to get em out!

 

Marz

Cheating (sexually and by socializing to a 3rd party enough behind the other's back past a certain degree) on a bf/gf/spouse is my #1 hate in a relationship... I dont see as to why someone must cheat on another and hurt them, and they know it will surely and deeply hurt their bf/gf/spouse. If someone was truly in love, REAL love, with their spouse..then how can they actually work the courage up to cheat or even go so far as to lie about it? I personally think that would take a lot of guts of a coward. Thats not love, I think that is just 'liking very very much' but not 'love.' I mean, if you constantly feel like doing this or have these feelings then get out of your current relationship...isn't it clear? I just cant see how anyone can ever do this to a 'loved' one. This is just MY opinion and I needed to post it.