MattB Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 Here's my issue. I am currently living 1000 miles away from my fiance. Right now the plan is for her to move in with me in October, where she will live with me until we get married in July of 2007. Neither of us have any problem with this. If we were just dating and decided to move in together, then I would be a bit unconfortable, but since we are engaged and committed to eathother, I almost view marriage right now as a legal formality. Just a title and a piece of paper. Unfortunately my mother doesn't feel the same. She doesn't like my fiance to begin with but is really upset that we are going to be "shacking up" and "playing house" (her words not mine). She expects us to live apart until we are married, even if it means my fiance moving out her with me, but having a seperate apartment. With the amount of money that would cost, it's just rediculous. When I ask her what he problem is with it, the only answer I can get is "it's just not done." Then she goes off on some tangent about us breaking up and having to split up everything, blah blah blah. She doesn't seem to believe that we will actually be together forever. Maybe she's just in denial or it's her wishfull thinking. Anyway, what do you think? Does moving in with someone after you get engaged seem all that "taboo?" Maybe I'm just part of the modern age "influenced by modern movies and TV" (her words not mine) but I see absolutly no problem with the whole situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 Your mother obviously disliked your fiance and that is what is motivating her to say these things. It is actually recommended that you live with your fiance so that you know if you can at all stand them all day every day This is the modern world. Most couples live together without being married and it is a good thing. If your mother has such a problem with your fiance then she can deal with it. Remember, the umbilical cord was tied at birth and sometimes mothers need to be reminded of that. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 I like what DC siad.. I would like to add that I have done it both ways.. I have lived with women ( up to 4 years ) while being engaged and broke up and I never lived with my exwife before marriage. I will say that without any doubt whatsover that had I lived with my exwife before marriage that I would've seen we were incompatable before hand.. and that would've saved me 5 years and a divorce. I think you are doing the right thing,... having 2 apartments would be a huge waste of money as you both would always be at one anyhow. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 I will say that without any doubt whatsover that had I lived with my exwife before marriage that I would've seen we were incompatable before hand.. and that would've saved me 5 years and a divorce. I would never marry someone I hadn't lived with first for exactly that reason - it helps you rule out the bad deals. Sometimes people are wonderful until you live with them. Link to post Share on other sites
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