I am all messed up

[Violet]

It starts with me being a 23 year old, divorced, mother of two, dating a 18 year old. I say I never really trusted anyone from th opposite sex until I met Chad. I trully believe he was the best thing to happen to me and my two girls. We have been together for about 8 months, hes my best friend. During the eight months we have been together not a single day went buy that we didnt do something together. He always called me, I always called him, he spent almost the whole summer at my house. Then we found out I was pregnant. Chad kinda wanted me to have it but he understood that I felt it was too soon. He took me to abort our child . It seems like nothing was the same after that. I never wanted to lose him and I have very mixed emotions about the child. About a week after the abortion we broke up, I broke up with him. We were arguing quite a bit, both of us were confused and felt like he thought I was a bad person for being the one to start the abortion thing. I wanted out. Then within a few hours I realized I made the biggest mistake of my life. I love him with all my heart and soul. We got back together directly after I called him, a couple days later. He just doesnt seem the same. He seems distant. He also was talked in to going out with some of his friends who conviently left him at a house with a girl who is obsessed with him and has been during our whole relationship. I knew he didnt care for her at all before, but its hard to tell now. He says he loves me and wants us to stay together and work things out. But theres little things, I can tell things have changed. I cry and feel nausea when I see that we dont have what was once there such a short time ago. Should I save him the headache of watching me breakdown and end it for him or should save us. Please, someone out there give me some guidance in the right direction be for I drive myself insane!